Would You FEED This Kid?

[Francine]

18 month old little pistol, knows perfectly well how to feed himself but refuses. He gets offered the same food at the same times as all of the other kids, if he doesn't eat his lunch I save it for snack. It's not that he can't, he can pick up cookies, crackers, chips, raisens etc. etc. but give him meat, veggie, pasta etc and he refuses. There are days that go by that he will only eat a bite or two of food all day because I refuse to feed him. His Mom doesn't seem to care, because he will fill up on junk and milk when she gets him home. My scale is broken but he weighed over 30 pounds in June when he started, I would guess that he weighs about 45 now.

Sometimes he will eat better if I pick it up and feed it to him, according to Mom she does not do this at home. Would you?

[MyAngels]

No, I wouldn't. I had a boy who came to me at just under 2 with the same type of issues. I never fed him, just gave him good choices, and eventually he came around. He's 8 now and eats a pretty balanced diet, but there are times he just won't eat. I remember at the time he enrolled his Mom told me that he would only eat chicken nuggets, so that's what she fixed him almost every meal .

[Francine]

This kids mom tells me that he likes kidney beans and pineapple, that was her answers when I asked her what he eats at home. Sorry, put I am not feeding kidney beans and pineapple everyday.

[Blackcat31]

Absolutely not!! I don't feed any kids who are over 1 year old. Once they transition from baby food or jarred foods to pieces and cut up food, I do not feed them. I offer silverware from high chair age up but no way would I feed this kid. Its too bad mom wont work with you. I had a similar experience over the last few years...a dcb would rather skip the meals and snacks I offered (because they were healthy) and wait til mom came because she took him to McDonald's everyday or convenience store for a donut.....he is now 6 and weighs 110 lbs.....I tried to help, mom didnt support me so I followed my rules at daycare and offered all the regular meals and snacks to him and if he refused to feed himself and then later refused to eat at all....not my problem. I offered.....he refused....his choice. Mom didn't care so I didnt either.

[SilverSabre25]

Nope. If he's hungry, he'll eat. Eventually, he'll probably start eating more of the good stuff, especially if he sees other kids eating it and you play up "MMm, how yummy the turkey is! Mmmm, tomatoes are tasty! Here try one!" kinds of things.

[misol]

FWIW I wouldn't feed him either. ESPECIALLY since you've witnessed him self-feed before. Offer the food, give him ample time to eat it, remove him from the table until the next meal or snack. If he gets hungry enough he will start to eat - he will not starve before his mom picks up.

[momofsix]

I must be the weird one here:: If I have a little ones (like under 2) not eating well, I'll help them out. If it's chunky food, not so much...maybe I'll put it on his fork for him and encourage him to do it by himself. If he wouldn't do it himself, but would eat from me then I would stiill probably do it just to get him some good food in. (he'll sleep better with a full tummy) If it's something like mashed potatoes,yogurt, applesauce...I let them work at it for a while, but usually end up helping them finish up what's on their plate. I find they eat a lot better if I help them out a little, and I don't mind doing it. I'm not talking about forcing them to eat something they don't want, just assisting them in eating whatever they are already eating. If I don't help them I get them asking for 'more" when they have a ton on their plates, it's just too "spread out" for them to scoop it up!

[Crystal]

nope. BUT, I would not serve it to him later for snack if I know he's not going to eat it, that's not cool IMO because you know he is hungry. I would offer healthy snack to ALL of the kids, like cheese and crackers with some apples. You know he'll eat crackers, and so will the others, so I would serve snacks that are 1. HEALTHY and 2. something they will ALL eat.

[Cat Herder]

nope. BUT, I would not serve it to him later for snack if I know he's not going to eat it, that's not cool IMO because you know he is hungry. .

I agree with this. I, personally, would not give him crackers at snack first, though (I know that is not what Crystal said either). It sounds like he could benefit from the veggie first, fruit second, milk third and starch last plan to me. If offered the vegetables first, when he is hungriest, the hope is he will eat more of them. The goal is to develop a taste for them..YKWIM? After several months like this (4 course meal plan ) I have noticed my "picky" eaters eat everything I offer here, even if they will not eat at home.

Good luck, I know this can be frustrating.

[TGT09]

Nope. I have a 3.5 YEAR old that still pulls this. It is so frustrating! However, I say no but since he's 18 months I would maybe try if I feed you a bite then you feed yourself a bite, etc etc.

[misol]

I must be the weird one here:: If I have a little ones (like under 2) not eating well, I'll help them out. If it's chunky food, not so much...maybe I'll put it on his fork for him and encourage him to do it by himself. If he wouldn't do it himself, but would eat from me then I would stiill probably do it just to get him some good food in. (he'll sleep better with a full tummy) If it's something like mashed potatoes,yogurt, applesauce...I let them work at it for a while, but usually end up helping them finish up what's on their plate. I find they eat a lot better if I help them out a little, and I don't mind doing it. I'm not talking about forcing them to eat something they don't want, just assisting them in eating whatever they are already eating. If I don't help them I get them asking for 'more" when they have a ton on their plates, it's just too "spread out" for them to scoop it up!

momofsix you are not weird. My response was based strictly on finger foods. I certainly help my younger kiddos with foods that need to be "spooned" i.e, applesauce, soup, yogurt etc. As they get older I just help less and less until they can finally do it on their own. Since the OP said the kid feeds himself other foods, it seems that this is a matter of his food preferences rather than a physical inability to feed himself.

nope. BUT, I would not serve it to him later for snack if I know he's not going to eat it, that's not cool IMO because you know he is hungry. I would offer healthy snack to ALL of the kids, like cheese and crackers with some apples. You know he'll eat crackers, and so will the others, so I would serve snacks that are 1. HEALTHY and 2. something they will ALL eat.

He will learn quickly that he eats or goes hungry until it's time to eat again. The ONLY snack that EVERYONE here will eat is graham crackers and I can't serve that for snack every day. So I still think that OP is likely to encounter the same problem even when she serves him healthy snacks. It's going to be a waiting game but eventually he will start to eat some of the foods she offers.



Whether he is starving or not, I would NOT feed him foods that I know he was capable of picking up and eating himself. Mom already said that she doesn't hand feed him so there is no way I would start doing it. Mealtimes are hectic enough without creating extra work for ourselves.

[Crystal]

Misol, with all due respect, we are talking about an 18 month old here. Yes, he will learn with time to eat or he will be hungry, BUT there is absolutely NO reason to re-serve his LUNCH for SNACK when the provider knows good and well that he will NOT eat it. Therefore, the child is going HUNGRY for 8-10 hours a day. As a provider, I am apalled that another provider would even consider allowing a child to go hungry for that long, even if she did offer him (the same) food all day and as a parent I would be downright LIVID and probably calling licensing about it.

Now, if we were discussing an older child, it would be a LITTLE more understandable to re-serve lunch for snack, but even then I'd be questioning why anyone would think that's okay.

I do agree that I would not hand-feed him. He is quite capble of that himself.

[Luna]

I would not hand feed him either, but I wouldn't re-serve him his uneaten food. I would be serving him the same food as everyone else, at the same time as everyone else, and nothing in between. I promise you, he won't starve.

[jen]

Hmmm...

Well, I feel a bit differently on this. Have you tried simply feeding him one bite and then walking away. I have one that will eat just fine, ONCE I've gotten him started. I wouldn't sit and feed him, but I'd pop a bite in there to get him started. If he didn't eat after that, so be it.

I wouldn't refeed him his lunch. I would simply offer him some veggies and maybe a little ranch dip, some cheese, and some milk.

I wouldn't worry about if everyone else would eat it, or even if everyone else had the same thing.

[countrymom]

well, the last day here before christmas (thursday) I had ordered pizza from the pizza joint down the street (I have ordered from them lots of times, they make great pizza for the kids, light on sauce, cut it up in small pieces) so we did our little christmas party and so its lunch time and the 5 yr old says to me "I don't eat that pizza, I only eat cheese" well I tell him whatever you don't like pick it off-right, well wrong, he just doesn't eat that pizza because he only eats lunchable pizza (ohmg how gross is that) so I said oh well, you don't get nothing else, because i was only serving pizza. But for snack it was fruit and opps again it wasn't a lunchable so he didn't eat it either.
this kid and parents frustrate me (there is something wrong with the child, he is going for lots of therapy but something is off about him) but his parents only serve him lunchables, chicken nuggets and soup out of a can for dinner. so when its snack time because he doesn't eat his lunch half the time, he gets other things or he gets less than the other kids. I found that he would wait for snack time and fill up on crackers or cookies or whatever, so to me its a pain for me to cook this wonderful meal for all the kids and have to throw his in the trash.
I wouldn't save the lunch and serve it for snack, its just me.