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DCM Made Me Feel Inadequate

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  • DCM Made Me Feel Inadequate

    Tuesday night (AFTER daycare hours) I was deep frying for my family and over heated the oil. This resulted in smoking up the house and my daycare area. Then stupid me poured it down the sink which over flooded my sink in the kitchen and the daycare bathroom. I decided to close (for the first time ever in many years) due to the wet floor in the daycare room and having to clean up smoke residue. I cannot stress enough the children were NOT here and there was NO fire. However, no one was upset because I did give everyone a credit on their account. I had this infant that I have had for 5 months...plus I held the spot for 4 months without payment. THe mom dropped off yesterdday and said that the father was going to pick up at noon. She was not as friendly as before and when the dad came he did not talk but grabbed the baby and ran out the door. Well, I have been doing this long enough to realize they were not coming back. I sent an email asking her. So she writes me back saying she was looking for alternate care and had two providers she was looking into. That the baby would not be back Monday but after they decide who to take the baby then they would let me know if he will be returning. Well, that really made me mad. You CANNOT decide to try to find care and if none is found bring him back...heck no!

    Her reason was that they were not informed on what happened in depth. I did inform her three different times on what happened and that it was after daycare hours and that we never cook like that during daycare hours. She then claimed that he came home with "dingy" clothes and a dark smudge on one of his socks. How can that be? I aired the whole house out for 24 hours plus I washed everything! I washed the ceiling walls floors toys blakets Etc...I am an over doing person so I did go over board washing. No other parent had an issue and said they have done the same thing.

    I feel that if he did have a dirty smudge on his sock then I am sorrry for that and have NO idea how that could happen because I cleaned everything plus he is 5 months and is never on the floor!

    So now, by her email I feel like she is saying I am an aweful person over this. I made a mistake, I am not perfect! I am sure I am not the only person to over heat oil! The point is I NEVER do any deep frying during daycare hours and what I do after hours when your kids are not here is NONE of your business.

    Further more, I noticed she unfriended the daycare from her friends list on facebook. I have to say my feelings is hurt because I was good to her son and her. I never charged her a late fee for paying late, I have had to buy the formula and diaper and wipes when she "forgotten" to buy some. I made special handprint and finger print crafts for her and her husbands bday and holidays. And now, I feel she is saying I am a bad provider...I know i should never let anyone determine how I feel but I am really hurt over this...

    What does everyone think?

  • #2
    I think you may have problems with her down the road if she stays . If she is making a big deal out of this and saying you never told her what happened in enough detail ( even though you did) and maybe lying about the smudge/dirt you can but she will have other issues .

    I would let her leave or term them .

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    • #3
      I think she is completely out of line and that there is no way that DCM would set foot in my home again.

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      • #4
        I did not beg her to stay and I let her by with the two week notice. I sent her an email and told her that her son was very well taken care of and just three weeks ago she wrote me a wonderful ref. letter so I did not see an issuue. I then told her in a nice way he cannot return. I said please let me know a time and day you would like to come and pick up his things. Then I said I wish you and your family the best.

        That was it...

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        • #5
          happyface thank you!!!
          Originally posted by Leigh View Post
          I think she is completely out of line and that there is no way that DCM would set foot in my home again.

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          • #6
            1st time mom? I would have pulled my baby too. I would have looked at it like you were irresponsible and used poor judgment. Then again, I was 20 years old, and thought I knew it all. Nearly 17 years later I laugh at myself and feel sorry for people that had to deal with me

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            • #7
              good for you.. I am sooooo sick of parents blaming DC for everything that happens to their child.

              I am getting ready to term a family and one of their complaints is that the childs socks are dirty. we don't wear shoes in the house. BUT every freaking morning this child walks to my front door with daddy in her SOCKS. But it's my house that is dirty, not the sidewalk.

              Once I smell that things are bad and I think that it's only going to get worse, I let them go. I have only had this happen a few times. I learned the hard way by keeping a family that was HOORRRRIBBBLLLEEE to me for 3 years. Never ever ever ever again.

              Just tell them that you feel you guys are not a good fit, write up all of the items that you are returning to the family and make them sign off on them. Make sure that you have EVERYTHING. I had a family come back and haunt me over a missing sock. I finally told them you are harassing me and have every bit of documentation to prove it. Do not contact me again or I will be forced to file harassment charges against you. Never heard back after that.


              stand tall and know that you are doing a great job!!

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              • #8
                Seriously? Her complaint is a SMUDGE on his sock?? Wow if every parent termed because their kids socks got a bit dirty I would go out of business! My floors are clean, we do not wear shoes in the house, but still the bottom of their socks do not stay pristine.

                A 5 month old here WOULD be on the floor.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by angelw2babies View Post
                  1st time mom? I would have pulled my baby too. I would have looked at it like you were irresponsible and used poor judgment. Then again, I was 20 years old, and thought I knew it all. Nearly 17 years later I laugh at myself and feel sorry for people that had to deal with me
                  How is that poor judgement and irresponsible? It's incredibly EASY to overheat oil and cause it to smoke.

                  OP stated there was no fire, indicating she remedied the issue as soon as she noticed it. Sure, she dumped it down the sink which isn't a great idea for the reason she mentioned. But, in the moment with hot, smoking, stinky oil in your hand, all you can think about is getting rid of it somewhere that isn't going to melt(ie: the garbage) so sometimes silly things get done. I've dropped food into the hot oil on accident before and literally reached into the oil to grab the food wouldn't even thinking about how hot it was! 2nd degree burns on my fingers after that and that's after many years working in a kitchen. Stupid stuff happens

                  Personally, I don't see the issue, what so ever. But I've worked in restaurants so I don't freak out about over heated oil/smoking oil. I obviously clean up any mess, and air out the house but that's it. It's not like you caught the stove on fire!

                  Honestly I think mom is WAY over reacting and you made the right choice in letting her go. You'd just end up with more problems.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by AuntTami View Post
                    How is that poor judgement and irresponsible? It's incredibly EASY to overheat oil and cause it to smoke.
                    That was my point. I had no experience with overheating oil, or any cooking really, and would have assumed that she must have walked away from it or something. I'm saying that I was 100% wrong, but sometimes people see things differently, especially when they are young, and 1st time parents.

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                    • #11
                      Is this the same family that didn't like you smoking cigarettes in the house?

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                      • #12
                        PLEASE don't let her make you feel inadequate! That was ridiculous over-reaction on her part! And good for you for not letting them stay!

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                        • #13
                          I agree DCM way over reacted. I also wonder why, if it was after daycare hours you told her what happened. I would have just let them know that there was an issue which made it impossible to open the next day. IT IS your home, your personal time, and really non of their business what happens when their child is not in care.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by angelw2babies View Post
                            That was my point. I had no experience with overheating oil, or any cooking really, and would have assumed that she must have walked away from it or something. I'm saying that I was 100% wrong, but sometimes people see things differently, especially when they are young, and 1st time parents.
                            Got it! Thanks! I misunderstood

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                            • #15
                              yes first time mom in her late 30's

                              However, its one of those parents who turns their nose up at other kids and no one is good enough to play with their baby...you know the type?

                              Originally posted by angelw2babies View Post
                              1st time mom? I would have pulled my baby too. I would have looked at it like you were irresponsible and used poor judgment. Then again, I was 20 years old, and thought I knew it all. Nearly 17 years later I laugh at myself and feel sorry for people that had to deal with me

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