Should I Feel Guilty?

[legomom922]

Dh has a child support hearing on thurs, and the lawyer wants to meet with us on Wec at 3pm. I always go to these things because I have more of the legal kind of mind, and I remeber stuff and ask all the right questions. DH would fall apart if I wasnt there. So we just find out today that we need to meet with lawyer today, so I tell 1 of my DCM's that Kelly has to be picked up by 2 because I have a very important appt, and if this doesnt work for her, she will have to use her back up. Well now we are getting a snow storm, and she is upset because now she has to use her ex dh;s DCP that they use on mon, thurs, and fri, and it is 20 miles out of her way, and she will have to drive another 20 miles out of her way after she even gets out of work, and how can I do this etc. I already told them I was not going to charge them, but gee this is important and I have a life too and sometimes life happens. So now I am feeling very badly, but my financial future also depends on this meeting. My other DCM is fine with it and picking up at 130pm.

Am I wrong?

Oh and BTW, if you have been following any of my stories, she is the same DCM who asked me to watch her daughter the week I am closed because her other DCP is closed the week between christmas and new yrs,and never read my notice that I am closed too....

[Live and Learn]

So sad too bad...
That is just how it goes sometimes .......
:id you tell her you put a note in her diaper bag/cubby reminding her about this 2 weeks ago? ....ha ha....he he he!::....
Ok I am going to bed...getting too sassy!

[misol]

This parent does not have adequate backup care if she has to drive 20 miles out of her way to the alternate provider. She'd be better off taking a 1/2 day off from work! Do you know another local provider or someone else you could recommend to her?

Like you said, your financial future depends on this meeting so you have to do what you have to do. Unexpected emergencies happen in life and this is one of them. Don't let this mom make you feel bad because SHE was unprepared - again.

[legomom922]

Did you tell her you put a note in her diaper bag/cubby reminding her about this 2 weeks ago?

No I just found out yesterday morning. We had been calling our lawyer for a week and he never returned our calls until yesterday. You know how lawyers are..They are always in court and when they are not, they are too busy to call you back!

[Luna]

What does she want you to do? Not go to your important appointment??? This is something you must do, no two ways about it. She'll just have to work something out for herself. No need to feel guilty!

[legomom922]

This parent does not have adequate backup care if she has to drive 20 miles out of her way to the alternate provider. She'd be better off taking a 1/2 day off from work! Do you know another local provider or someone else you could recommend to her?

This is why she has to drive so far out of her way. She is in the process of getting divorced, and the Dad still lives in the house in a town that is about 20 mi from me. She is currently staying with someone temporarily in a town about 5 miles from me.

Dad has DCG on Mon, Thurs, Fri and every other weekend. So DCM has to drive 20 miles to the DCP that her ex uses (because its closer for him ) on Mon mornings, Dad picks up on mon nights and then has to drive 20 mi to my house on Tues mornings, Mom picks up & drops off at my house on tues nights, wed mornings and nights, an dthen Mom has to drive 20 miles on thurs am to the other DCP so that Dad can pick up Thurs night. Phew...did you catch all that?

So now, DCM has to drive out to the other sitter wed am & night.

That was the whole reason why she is using me on Tues/Wed, because before she was using the other DCP all 5 days and doing a on of driving, and she didnt want to do that in the winter, and now here we are in the middle of a snow storm, and I am making her drive all that way and back because I have a last minute appt...

I still thinks she needs to get another back up that is closer to her. She never takes time off of work unless its for herself...she is one of those I already do her a huge favor by watching DCG from 630am -630pm for $35/day only because before she split from her husband, I had DCG FT since she was 4 months old, so I really only do these crazy hrs because I truly love DCG, plus they get other perks as well..such as they are not charged when they are not here and I'm not charging them for tomorrow either...I feel I already go above and beyond for these people.

[Blackcat31]

Sounds to me like DCM has several issues that are a problem because SHE allows them to be problems and is looking for everyone else (you) to help her out. Her child....her problem. You have a right to have a life and have things come up that are unplanned. So unless you have this happen ALOT...I would stop feeling guilty and let her deal with her problem.

I do know how you feel though....it is hard because I feel like I am the only one who ever tries to be flexible and I am the only one who ever feels guilty about stuff....but I am working on that. Good luck....Set YOUR priorities and try not to feel bad.

[laundrymom]

Super like!!!!!

Lack of prep on her part does not mean an emergency on yours. I would grab a cup of coffee and focus on YOUR appointment. Not HER drive. It's not like you are asking her to do it every day. She chose to have the backup in another town. She chose to make this arrangement with her ex. She needs to deal with the drive. You take care of you.

Sounds to me like DCM has several issues that are a problem because SHE allows them to be problems and is looking for everyone else (you) to help her out. Her child....her problem. You have a right to have a life and have things come up that are unplanned. So unless you have this happen ALOT...I would stop feeling guilty and let her deal with her problem.

I do know how you feel though....it is hard because I feel like I am the only one who every tries to be flexible and I am the only one who ever feels guilty about stuff....but I am working on that. Good luck....Set YOUR priorities and try not to feel bad.

[Live and Learn]

Legomom:
My sarcasm didn't come thru clearly...I know that you just found out about the meeting yesterday but .....:: with this mom's track record concerning not checking for important notes in her diaper bag she probably wouldn't even know if you HAD put a note in her diaper bag two weeks ago::.
For goodness sakes, don't feel guilty at all. She is a grown up. Things happen occasionally that you have to close for.

[legomom922]

Got it! I'm a little slow these days.. LOL You are right though, she wouldnt have seen it anyway! And now I just found out my Dh just took the whole day off..I'm closed now for sure, LOL