So the 2-year-old has begun using potty time as a time to to "pleasure himself". He seriously gives himself a stiffy and then ends up peeing all over the floor! I have tried to explain to him that we don't do that, don't play with it, just leave it alone, etc. but he just won't stop! He won't go pee if I am in the room, we will end up just sitting there for 10 minutes until I leave; and then he does this. It's pretty disturbing.
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OMG - 2-Year-Old "Touching Himself" While Potty-Training!
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STOP!!!!
:hug:
He just found a new toy. Please, don't shame him, and don't freak out. Just focus on where he pees (we pee IN the toilet). Maybe throw cheerios in there to sink, if you think that'll work.
Then, be matter-of-fact about the other part. "Please hurry, your friends are waiting to use the bathroom", "ok, time's up, if you haven't gone pee yet, we'll have to try again later. Right now, it's time for lunch"
I'd also stick to more "hey, dude, it's not private time in here. It's potty time. Go potty and let's go play..move it along!"
Is he still in pull-ups?
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Originally posted by hsdcmama View PostSo the 2-year-old has begun using potty time as a time to to "pleasure himself". He seriously gives himself a stiffy and then ends up peeing all over the floor! I have tried to explain to him that we don't do that, don't play with it, just leave it alone, etc. but he just won't stop! He won't go pee if I am in the room, we will end up just sitting there for 10 minutes until I leave; and then he does this. It's pretty disturbing.
As a provider, the child does not pee in the potty. Period. Tell mom he goes back to diapers until she corrects the situation.
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Heidi, I am not shaming him at all. I know it's a natural point of curiosity, but I cannot allow him to continue stiffening himself up and peeing all over my floor like it's a game. He started out doing pretty well with potty training; his parents put him in underwear during the day and Pull-Ups at night. He was starting to get the idea really well, and then I went on vacation for a week. I come back, and they've got the kid in Pull-Ups full-time. Since then, he has shown zero interest in using the potty. Like, ZERO. He will not tell me at all -- ever -- if he needs to go. He will just go in the Pull-Up and not tell me. Then I will ask him if he needs to go potty, and he will say no, but I will make him go anyway because I know it's about time. Then he will say, "Sorry", and I know he's gone in his Pull-Up and not told me.
I have him go to the bathroom about every couple hours or so, especially right at drop-off, before lunch, before nap, etc. If he doesn't feel like it, he will sit on the potty and hold his pee, then unload in his Pull-Up as soon as he gets up.
It seems to me like the parents had the right idea at the beginning, started out strong, but just got lazy and decided Pull-Ups were easier than continuing with the underwear. When he was in underwear, he could go all day without an accident, maybe 1 or 2 if he was playing and didn't notice he had to go. And when he did have an accident, I would notice right away and we could take care of it right then & there. A Pull-Up is nothing but a glorified diaper, so when he pees in it I have no idea until I make him go potty. I'm thinking of telling the parents to bring me underwear instead of Pull-Ups, and they need to use underwear at home so we are all on the same page. This just isn't going to work if I do it one way here and they do another thing at home. Either that, or if they cannot commit to actually potty-training him for real, he needs to go back into diapers until they are ready to commit to it.
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The biggest thing I'm seeing from your post is that he's not ready for potty training. If you have to make him sit on the toilet and he still won't go and still prefers to unload in a Pull-Up then it's time to back off and try again in a few months.
ETA: why would you want an unpotty trained kid in underwear??? You're seriously just going to create more work for yourself... you'll be cleaning pee puddles all day. Also, if you prefer diapers to pull-ups then just tell them. You said so yourself.. they're just glorified diapers. Therefore there's no difference other than the ease at which the kids can pull them up and down. I prefer them for that reason, but I know many providers despise pull-ups.
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Originally posted by craftymissbeth View PostETA: why would you want an unpotty trained kid in underwear???
I get your concern though, as this method definitely does not work if the parents are not on board 100%. I just figured that since that's what the parents started with, and it worked while they were doing it, then if they put him back in underwear this weekend and re-committed to it for the long term it would be fine. But from what I'm seeing now, this kid just does not give a crap. He just pooped in the Pull-Up about 10 minutes ago.Last edited by Blackcat31; 09-24-2014, 07:59 AM.
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Originally posted by hsdcmama View PostHeidi, I am not shaming him at all. I know it's a natural point of curiosity, but I cannot allow him to continue stiffening himself up and peeing all over my floor like it's a game. He started out doing pretty well with potty training; his parents put him in underwear during the day and Pull-Ups at night. He was starting to get the idea really well, and then I went on vacation for a week. I come back, and they've got the kid in Pull-Ups full-time. Since then, he has shown zero interest in using the potty. Like, ZERO. He will not tell me at all -- ever -- if he needs to go. He will just go in the Pull-Up and not tell me. Then I will ask him if he needs to go potty, and he will say no, but I will make him go anyway because I know it's about time. Then he will say, "Sorry", and I know he's gone in his Pull-Up and not told me.
I have him go to the bathroom about every couple hours or so, especially right at drop-off, before lunch, before nap, etc. If he doesn't feel like it, he will sit on the potty and hold his pee, then unload in his Pull-Up as soon as he gets up.
It seems to me like the parents had the right idea at the beginning, started out strong, but just got lazy and decided Pull-Ups were easier than continuing with the underwear. When he was in underwear, he could go all day without an accident, maybe 1 or 2 if he was playing and didn't notice he had to go. And when he did have an accident, I would notice right away and we could take care of it right then & there. A Pull-Up is nothing but a glorified diaper, so when he pees in it I have no idea until I make him go potty. I'm thinking of telling the parents to bring me underwear instead of Pull-Ups, and they need to use underwear at home so we are all on the same page. This just isn't going to work if I do it one way here and they do another thing at home. Either that, or if they cannot commit to actually potty-training him for real, he needs to go back into diapers until they are ready to commit to it.
Anyways..... I would stop trying to train him. If he thinks this is all just a game, then he is telling you he isn't ready for potty training.
He may have caught on in the beginning because it was new and interesting but now, the novelty has worn off and his actions are clearly saying he is not ready or willing.
It's more fun to "get to know himself" right now so maybe once he has past that phase he'll take training more seriously and actually WANT to go instead of "playing" instead.
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What about maybe trying to offer him a book or toy to occupy his hands while he is on the potty?
I had a DCG who would take a handful of toilet paper and masturbate with it while on the potty... I would keep telling her that she was dry enough now, that she had to wait until she peed to wipe, we only need to wipe twice and then put the paper in the potty but she would make such a scene and scream that she needed toilet paper that it was affecting the training itself.
I put together a potty time basket and would allow her to choose something from it while she was on the potty. She was happy to play with a toy or book instead of cry that she needed toilet paper. She still "overwiped" afterwards but it was much more tolerable.
Although it is completely natural to begin exploring themselves at this age, it makes me so uncomfortable LOL
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Originally posted by AmyKidsCo View PostI had one who'd do this too - he'd play with it too much to ever pee. He ended up leaving before we got anywhere with potty training and now it's his grandparents' problem.
I think I'll tell dad today that I think he's just not ready, that he just sits there and plays with himself instead of actually using the potty, and that it would be best to wait a few months and try again later. Plus get some feedback to see if this is going on at home as well. Blackcat I think you are right that the novelty has worn off. He was not really interested to begin with; I think potty-training now was the parents' idea more than his own.
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I have a dcb who has this happen...as soon as he pulls down his pants to go to the bathroom, there it is. He pees every time too, but I'm not sure if it's still like that when he goes (I don't look). It's not his fault, it just happens ( I think I read somewhere that cold air can make that happen).
I agree, your dcb is not ready to potty train.
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Originally posted by Blackcat31 View PostThis is going to sound kinda ignorant/weird... but being a female (I have no actual way of knowing the validity of this or not) .......but I was always under the impression that males cannot actually urinate when they are "stiff"
Maybe only adults can't pee when that happens? :confused:
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Originally posted by melilley View PostI have a dcb who, as soon as he pulls down his pants, there it is! I can't even look so I can't tell for sure, but he does go pee every time, and right away so I assume it's still big.?
Maybe only adults can't pee when that happens? :confused:
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