WHY Do You Have Scheduled Naps And .....

[marniewon]

why do you make a child stay in the nap area for the whole time? I see many/most of us have scheduled afternoon nap times (1-3 or 2-4, etc). From what I'm understanding, that is nap time and everyone stays in the nap area the entire time. What is the reasoning behind that? I'm absolutely not judging, just needing to hear some reasons. I do this. Even if the child is screaming through the remainder (or ALL) of naptime. However, it really makes no sense, if you figure that all kids need to rest, and if you have a screamer in there, keeping them up, they are not resting. I'm kind of looking for "because it's in my regs that children will rest for 2 hours" or "I know they are tired, so they must stay in there the whole time" or whatever.

Here's my issue. I was just thinking today that if dcm asked me how long I let dcb cry at naptime, and I tell her the whole time, or an hour or 30 minutes or whatever it was, what do I tell her if she asks WHY I don't just get him up? He's obviously waking the other kids by being in there. My answer now is that he's still tired and if he doesn't nap he will just cry/whine/scream the rest of the day out here. But if I look at it from her perspective, it would make more sense to just get him up and keep him quiet away from the other nappers if he's just going to cry and keep them up.

So, for anyone who has scheduled nap times, what is your reasoning for keeping the children in there the whole scheduled time, even if they wake up earlier?

[Crystal]

because children NEED rest time.

because providers NEED a break.

I don't do two hour requirement, but the children do have to rest for about an hour. The older kids stay up.

[AmandasFCC]

Because kids need to rest, and they need to learn that screaming isn't going to get them out of that rest.

I do a mandated amount of time for my under 4 crowd because when I didn't, they would just stay awake so I would let them go look at books. I ended up with absolute bears in the afternoon so I had to put a stop to it.

[MyAngels]

I need a break, they need the rest. As far as your example - I would not just let a little one scream in the room with the others, I would separate them until I got them to see things my way . I generally take kids as infants and they stay until school, so they basically don't know any other way than mine.

[marniewon]

I need a break, they need the rest. As far as your example - I would not just let a little one scream in the room with the others, I would separate them until I got them to see things my way . I generally take kids as infants and they stay until school, so they basically don't know any other way than mine.

Unfortunately I don't have anywhere else to put him, and he's in the room right next to where I am so I get to listen to him scream too And....he's been with me since he was 6 weeks old - he KNOWS the routine and still screams through all or part of nap

I'm basically leading up to terming him, but I want all my ducks in a row with this one, and want to have really good reasons for needing him to be sleeping or at least quiet and why I don't get him right up when he peeps.

[nannyde]

I'm basically leading up to terming him, but I want all my ducks in a row with this one, and want to have really good reasons for needing him to be sleeping or at least quiet and why I don't get him right up when he peeps.

You are the only one telling yourself that you want to have a really good reson to term him.

Why not just ask yourself if his needs meet your care? If he needs something you aren't able to offer then he needs a different situation. It's not personal.

Just let the parents know that you feel he needs a different schedule and the last day you will be offering her services. His parents wouldn't need a good reason to pull him. You don't need a reason to term him.

[MyAngels]

You are the only one telling yourself that you want to have a really good reson to term him.

Why not just ask yourself if his needs meet your care? If he needs something you aren't able to offer then he needs a different situation. It's not personal.

Just let the parents know that you feel he needs a different schedule and the last day you will be offering her services. His parents wouldn't need a good reason to pull him. You don't need a reason to term him.

This is absolutely one of the most important things that a provider can learn. It is impossible to be all things to all people. There are just some situations that will not work, no matter how good your intentions are. Good luck with this, I know terminating a relationship can be hard, but it will be best for both of you in the long run.

[QualiTcare]

so, he does go to sleep - but he wakes up before everyone else and then cries wanting out?

how old is he? i mean, if it's a baby in a crib - i'm sure if he wakes up and everyone around is asleep then he'd cry and want out.

if it is a baby, i would get him out and bring him into the living room (or whatever room you're in) and put him in a playpen. he may go back to sleep if he's able to see you. if not, throw some toys in there til the others are finished napping.

[marniewon]

You are the only one telling yourself that you want to have a really good reson to term him.

Why not just ask yourself if his needs meet your care? If he needs something you aren't able to offer then he needs a different situation. It's not personal.

Just let the parents know that you feel he needs a different schedule and the last day you will be offering her services. His parents wouldn't need a good reason to pull him. You don't need a reason to term him.

I know, you're right. I can't meet his needs, as his needs do not coincide with the rest of the children I have here. I do feel it's personal though, because I cannot give up until I know I've tried everything to make it work, and I feel as though I failed. I keep thinking if I try this, or I try that, then he'll "get it" and we can go along happily. I'm having a hard time admitting defeat with this one. I've had him all of his little life so far (at least from 6 weeks on) and it just seems that I should be able to meet his needs.

[misol]

I have a scheduled rest period because the state requires it, most young kids need a nap, and I need some uninterrupted time (I am reluctant to call it a break)


I like nannyde's suggestion.

[Unregistered]

Because kids need to rest, and they need to learn that screaming isn't going to get them out of that rest.

This is why I insist that the kids at least "rest their bodies" if they don't want to sleep. It's hard to keep kids, especially the younger ones, quiet so the others can sleep. Plus, if the others see one kid up and reading books or playing, there's little to no chance they'll stay on their mats either.

I do like NannyDe's philosophy on this one. I tend to try to be all things to all kids and their families and it can really make me miserable at times.

[nannyde]

I know, you're right. I can't meet his needs, as his needs do not coincide with the rest of the children I have here. I do feel it's personal though, because I cannot give up until I know I've tried everything to make it work, and I feel as though I failed. I keep thinking if I try this, or I try that, then he'll "get it" and we can go along happily. I'm having a hard time admitting defeat with this one. I've had him all of his little life so far (at least from 6 weeks on) and it just seems that I should be able to meet his needs.

hmmmm

Ask yourself this:

If you were guaranteed his income no matter what the outcome would you have today be his last day?

If the answer is yes then you are doing it for the money.

If you are doing it for the money that changes EVERYTHING.

If you are doing it to "not give up on him" that's a whole different story.

[grandmom]

Before you think of term., have you talked with mom? Do they swaddle him, or some other thing that you don't know to do?

I agree with the other posters who say leave him to cry. He will get the message that nap time is nap time. As soon as you get up the noisy one, they all learn to be noisy, and then nap time is way too short. Don't be fooled, the sleepers will sleep through this noise.

[marniewon]

Money really isn't an issue in this case. I have 2 more kids coming in early January, so even if I termed today I wouldn't really be out much.

I've been dealing with this issue for several months now (not every day, but a lot more now than before) and when I first started trying different things, I was doing it because I couldn't imagine him not here, not seeing him every day and I just didn't want to lose him. My own children (teenagers) love him and none of us wanted to see him go. At that point, the money never even crossed my mind. Now, after trying everything I know to do and it's not working, and after (stupidly) talking to mom about it, and nothing has gotten better, I'm at the point where I have been wondering if the money is worth the headache and the cranky afternoons (for everyone).

Also, adding 2 more kids to the mix (18mo who has been here before and his infant brother) I don't want nap issues and cranky issues. I'm not sure how the infant will be but big brother is a good kid, very mellow, finally got him napping well, etc, and I don't want stress and chaos with even more kids here. Right now I only have one other full timer, and he sleeps like the dead - so C's screaming isn't keeping him awake all afternoon (just wakes him up early), but when I have 4 kids, I can imagine how insane it will be if everyone is cranky all afternoon long because no one is able to nap.

And yet, even with everything I stated above, I still can't bring myself to let him go. I can't make that decision to tell mom it's not working, and I really don't know why. Maybe I'll miss him, maybe I can find a way to make this work, maybe I'm afraid of the actual conversation with mom, maybe I'm afraid that I'll find out later it was a mistake.....maybe money is playing into this somewhat, but even if I termed today, i would only be losing a few hundred dollars. Maybe I just need a backbone, to make a decision and stick with whatever I decide.

[marniewon]

Before you think of term., have you talked with mom? Do they swaddle him, or some other thing that you don't know to do?

I agree with the other posters who say leave him to cry. He will get the message that nap time is nap time. As soon as you get up the noisy one, they all learn to be noisy, and then nap time is way too short. Don't be fooled, the sleepers will sleep through this noise.

We swaddled until he literally could not fit into a swaddler thing anymore. When we had to wean him from that I bought him a "lovey" to keep here to try to help him soothe himself to sleep. I have talked to mom and mom started making noises about pulling him because, since I asked how they do things at home, she thought I couldn't handle him. Now I don't ask or tell. I do everything that they do at home, with one exception, I don't get him up the minute he peeps. I never have, I give them the chance to fully wake up or go back to sleep. I've done pretty much the same thing with him since he started coming here. And I do have a problem with him waking others up. I have an 18mo dcb who is a very light sleeper and when he's here, he's lucky to get 15-30min nap in. I'm also getting an infant next month, although it shouldn't affect the baby much, as he will be out here with me, not napping with the older kids.

Thanks for trying to help. I'm really struggling with this one.