I Don't Want To Do This Anymore

[My3cents]

I feel your pain too. I'm currently in a rut as well. Sometimes I will absolutely LOVE my job - the freedom to be my own boss, to make my own policies, to not have gossiping coworkers I don't like, to stay in my own home all day, get some cleaning/chores done during the day, water the garden, stay home with my son. But other times I HATE my job: I get lonely by myself without coworkers, I get tired of shouldering the responsibility of owning my own business, the long hours, losing clients and not having any luck finding replacements, I doubt myself and my quality of care, I get sick and tired of cleaning all the time, my own son starts acting out especially around the daycare.

But really, nothing has changed except my outlook. I get this feeling with every job I've ever had - where the grass is greener on the other side. For me, sometimes the stress takes over and I feel like I can't make enough progress on all the little to-do lists in my head, so I start to mentally give up on everything and adopt a "who cares" attitude. Well then things start to get more out of hand, and it's a vicious cycle. So, I have to use techniques to reduce stress: clearing my schedule of social obligations on the evenings and weekends, take bubble baths, relaxing music, sign up for classes at the gym to get some vigorous exercise (I hate exercising, but this helps my mood SO MUCH), remind myself that this is good enough for now, and reading self-help books.

It sounds like you could use a little focus on yourself - but not on wishing for what you don't have - just tend to your emotional/physical needs first and give yourself a few weeks to wind down and de-stress and re-evaluation from there.

[My3cents]

Thanks everyone for the help!

Two more years and my debt is paid to my family. I can't make them leave since they kept their name on the deed (we are basically paying them for the house)

I don't mind the daycare Most of the time. But it kills me that my dds and dh hate it. In fact I find my job to be wonderful when all 3 of them are not here.

Younger dd is off to school in the fall so most of my day is going to be a breeze. This is what I'm looking forward to right now, which is terrible, since I started DC to earn a living and be home with them.

It does irritate me considerably when I have to deal with parents ignoring policies or trying to get away with something.

don't allow them ignoring policies to be an issue. Get firm.

If your heart is truly out of this then get out but if your just having a bad moment- we all do
take care of you and see how you feel after you make some changes for the better for you.
best-

[Papa]

We can tell from these posts that almost everyone has a bad spell every now and then. I have done this for 30+ years but I never want to go work for someone else again. I have NO commute, can make my own rules and work hours,and can make the day what I want it to be.....all free time or lots of activities. We just have to "laugh and deal" with those parents. Having a local support group of other providers is nice. We share great ideas, see other daycares, or just vent! Hang in there!!!

[Littleplanet]

Been feeling the same way

I have been feeling this for a little while also. But, I think mine is from a parent who made me feel like I had a horrible daycare, which in fact, I know I do not. She crushed my confidence and it is taking me a while to get back into feeling like this is what I really want to do. I have had one child since he was 8 weeks old, he is now 2 1/2. I think about him and his sister who is here for the summer. I know how much I have taught them and still am teaching them and that is what keeps me going. I do love what I do and have to remember that. I also don't like the fact that some people are just going to take advantage or at least try to. I have changed my contract since the incident a month back and feel like I may be back on the right way of thinking again. I figure there is going to be something that isn't perfect about any job so I might as well stay where I know I am happy for the most part.

[DaisyMamma]

don't allow them ignoring policies to be an issue. Get firm.

If your heart is truly out of this then get out but if your just having a bad moment- we all do
take care of you and see how you feel after you make some changes for the better for you.
best-

For me, when someone ignores a policy I take it personally. I find that it is a complete disrespect to me and my business and even on a first offense it makes me want to show them the door. It takes me a VERY long time to get over it. And it can be something as simple as a parent asking for clarity...

I had a parent try to tell me they wouldn't be paying while on vacation by simply stating how much $ they would give me prior to leaving. I realized what was happening because they pay two weeks at a time and the amount was for one. I let them know that tuition is due every week regardless of attendance or vacation. She later admitted DCD said they would probably have to pay but she wasn't sure. So instead of straight out asking me she tried to tell me what she was going to do
Fast forward a couple of weeks and now its time for my vacation. The sign on my door states I'm closed next week and payment for next week is due by Fri. So she read it and said, oh your closed next week? Do we have to pay for that? So now I just don't even want this kid here anymore. I'm really mad irritated, feel like they want to take advantage of me, et. etc. etc.

How does everyone just brush these things off? Personally I just can't do it. I don't allow people to bend policies but it's not enough for me. Having to constantly remind them as if they too are two years old just rubs me the wrong way.

[Blackcat31]

For me, when someone ignores a policy I take it personally. I find that it is a complete disrespect to me and my business and even on a first offense it makes me want to show them the door. It takes me a VERY long time to get over it. And it can be something as simple as a parent asking for clarity...

I had a parent try to tell me they wouldn't be paying while on vacation by simply stating how much $ they would give me prior to leaving. I realized what was happening because they pay two weeks at a time and the amount was for one. I let them know that tuition is due every week regardless of attendance or vacation. She later admitted DCD said they would probably have to pay but she wasn't sure. So instead of straight out asking me she tried to tell me what she was going to do
Fast forward a couple of weeks and now its time for my vacation. The sign on my door states I'm closed next week and payment for next week is due by Fri. So she read it and said, oh your closed next week? Do we have to pay for that? So now I just don't even want this kid here anymore. I'm really mad irritated, feel like they want to take advantage of me, et. etc. etc.

How does everyone just brush these things off? Personally I just can't do it. I don't allow people to bend policies but it's not enough for me. Having to constantly remind them as if they too are two years old just rubs me the wrong way.

I brush it off by remembering that THEIR actions belong to them.

They can try and make me feel guilty or badly but I refuse to borrow someone else's issues. I will NOT stress about things that I personally cannot change.

If I CAN change something that stresses me, I change it.

As for the parent reminders...I don't understand why so many providers are having to remind parents of anything...I just supply my rules and when they don't follow them (like the payment thing for vacation time) I apply the consequence (in that case, it would be a hefty late fee and possible loss of services) and if the parent questions me, I just say "Didn't you read your contract?"

If the parent said to me "Do we pay for that?" like you said above, my response would have been "What do YOU think?" and left the parent feeling stupid because you know as well as I do that she DID know...she is just playing dumb in hopes of you not having the balls to say yes.


It is and can be hard to manage parents sometimes but once you learn to put things back on them (by being snarky with a big smile) it becomes REALLY REALLY easy to do and MUCH less stressful for you.

I promise.

[DaisyMamma]

I brush it off by remembering that THEIR actions belong to them.

They can try and make me feel guilty or badly but I refuse to borrow someone else's issues. I will NOT stress about things that I personally cannot change.

If I CAN change something that stresses me, I change it.

As for the parent reminders...I don't understand why so many providers are having to remind parents of anything...I just supply my rules and when they don't follow them (like the payment thing for vacation time) I apply the consequence (in that case, it would be a hefty late fee and possible loss of services) and if the parent questions me, I just say "Didn't you read your contract?"

If the parent said to me "Do we pay for that?" like you said above, my response would have been "What do YOU think?" and left the parent feeling stupid because you know as well as I do that she DID know...she is just playing dumb in hopes of you not having the balls to say yes.


It is and can be hard to manage parents sometimes but once you learn to put things back on them (by being snarky with a big smile) it becomes REALLY REALLY easy to do and MUCH less stressful for you.

I promise.

The thing is that I am very sarcastic by nature and say exactly what I'm thinking. To the point where most people I meet think I'm a B*****.

But this type of thing just makes me want to term. I shouldnt have to remind them, is how I feel. Its hard to explain. My thoughts are kind of like this, how dare you ask that, get out of my daycare, you know the rules. Yet needing the $ makes me just say yes you need to pay. But then I personally hold it against them and will find a replacement.

But even if I were to do as you suggest, which I will try, I would still feel the same way. But perhaps it would keep them from asking? Is that the idea? Ill give it a shot.

Sorry to hijack the thread!

[Blackcat31]

The thing is that I am very sarcastic by nature and say exactly what I'm thinking. To the point where most people I meet think I'm a B*****.

But this type of thing just makes me want to term. I shouldnt have to remind them, is how I feel. Its hard to explain. My thoughts are kind of like this, how dare you ask that, get out of my daycare, you know the rules. Yet needing the $ makes me just say yes you need to pay. But then I personally hold it against them and will find a replacement.

But even if I were to do as you suggest, which I will try, I would still feel the same way. But perhaps it would keep them from asking? Is that the idea? Ill give it a shot.

Sorry to hijack the thread!

YES! It will stop them from continually asking and that will DIRECTLY affect your stress levels and thus creating an easy work environment.

Sometimes when I have a family that is focusing on one issue and asking over and over about things that are clearly written in my policies, I will take the time to send them an e-mail CLEARLY outlining the rules they are violating and remind them of how disrespectful it is to continually expect "special" and/or how disrespectful it is to behave as if I work for them.

Sometimes, if you let them think you don't need them HALF as much as they need you, their behavior changes dramatically. Most the time parents think they have you cornered and you won't term because you need the money...kwim?

I make sure they know that I don't need THEIR money if they aren't going to follow the rules and policies THEY agreed to I WILL term.

It REALLY does work.

[DaisyMamma]

YES! It will stop them from continually asking and that will DIRECTLY affect your stress levels and thus creating an easy work environment.

Sometimes when I have a family that is focusing on one issue and asking over and over about things that are clearly written in my policies, I will take the time to send them an e-mail CLEARLY outlining the rules they are violating and remind them of how disrespectful it is to continually expect "special" and/or how disrespectful it is to behave as if I work for them.

Sometimes, if you let them think you don't need them HALF as much as they need you, their behavior changes dramatically. Most the time parents think they have you cornered and you won't term because you need the money...kwim?

I make sure they know that I don't need THEIR money if they aren't going to follow the rules and policies THEY agreed to I WILL term.

It REALLY does work.

Great. This family left for the day already. I'm going to email a copy of my policies to them during nap time with a nice note.