Help with 2yo Transitioning from SAHM into Daycare

[PolkaTots]

Hi all!
I have a lovely bunch of kiddos, 2 infants, 2 twos, and 2 threes, but one little guy who is 2 that started Monday, is having a very difficult time transitioning from a SAHM mom, to an in home daycare environment. He is a sweet child, but his tantrums and screaming for an hour after departure...randomly throughout the day...and from wake up after nap time until pick up. I have tried redirection, holding him, trying to get him engaged with the other children, talking calmly with him in the other daycare room...nothing is working. I really need to figure out something quick, because his crying fits get the 2 infants I watch to cry uncontrollably Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!

[Crazy8]

honestly the best thing you can give him is TIME. Sounds like you are doing all the right things and he just needs time to adjust. His whole world was turned upside down yesterday - he needs more than just a day or two to figure this out.

If he is full time I would give him at least 2 weeks, talk to mom about what he likes to do at home, etc. But really the key here is time. I always say I know parents are trying to do their best by staying home as long as they can but I find the 18-24 months group is the hardest to adjust to a group setting.

[TickleMonster]

We have had the same problem with a 2 year old dcg that started a couple of months ago. DCD was the stay at home parent (which I thought was unusual and cool) and dcg threw the biggest fit every time she got dropped off. Had the heck kicked out of us a couple of times from her crazy tantrums. We found the best thing to do was to NOT baby her. Tell parents to make drop-offs short and sweet. No long goodbyes and lots of hugs and kisses. One hug, one kiss, goodbye, out the door. Child will scream but it is much better this way. Once parents leave, we give the dck one kiss and hug and tell them they are fine and take them to go play. Dcg would continue to scream and we let her. We made sure she was safe and not going to hurt herself or anyone else with her fits, and then we just let her scream it out. Eventually she realized no one was coming to the rescue and she started watching the others play and decided it looked like fun so she would play too. At naptime, the fits started again and we just placed her on a mat by herself, one hug, one kiss, and then walk out and let her scream. Once again, after a few days she realized no one was saving her and she might as well just go to sleep. We are tough love kind of people and it works well.

[playground1]

Hi all!
I have a lovely bunch of kiddos, 2 infants, 2 twos, and 2 threes, but one little guy who is 2 that started Monday

It's Tuesday...:confused:

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I agree with time. It took a 2yo here about 6-7 weeks to fully stop the random crying and screaming. She still occasionally does but it is much less frequent.

[cheerfuldom]

We have had the same problem with a 2 year old dcg that started a couple of months ago. DCD was the stay at home parent (which I thought was unusual and cool) and dcg threw the biggest fit every time she got dropped off. Had the heck kicked out of us a couple of times from her crazy tantrums. We found the best thing to do was to NOT baby her. Tell parents to make drop-offs short and sweet. No long goodbyes and lots of hugs and kisses. One hug, one kiss, goodbye, out the door. Child will scream but it is much better this way. Once parents leave, we give the dck one kiss and hug and tell them they are fine and take them to go play. Dcg would continue to scream and we let her. We made sure she was safe and not going to hurt herself or anyone else with her fits, and then we just let her scream it out. Eventually she realized no one was coming to the rescue and she started watching the others play and decided it looked like fun so she would play too. At naptime, the fits started again and we just placed her on a mat by herself, one hug, one kiss, and then walk out and let her scream. Once again, after a few days she realized no one was saving her and she might as well just go to sleep. We are tough love kind of people and it works well.

yup. no babying, no coddling. just remain upbeat and go about your regular daycare day and wait out the trial period to see if he progresses. I would create a cry spot and just remove him from the group if he gets out of control or you can set up the infants in a safe separate space if they need a break from the crying.

[mrw_mn]

I had a 2.5 DCB start last week and the first couple of days matched your description. We did our best to stick to a routine, mine matched pretty closely to home, so this was comforting. The first day or two were a couple of my more stressful days...but everyday gets better. Today was our best! He knows the routine, is comfortable with me, has been ore active with the other kids and smiling! I tried to spend a little more one and one time with him each day last week, I would start playing something like blocks or cars and he would join in. Ask mom/dad lots of questions, my little guy switched daycares (tough at that age), I imagine it's even tougher switching from a stay at home parent.

[preschoolteacher]

Is he coming Ft? I hope so. In my experience, two year old used to SAHMs have it hard when it comes to adjusting. Once he gets into the routine, it should be fine. Consistency is important, so he really would do best Ft rather than PT.

[Heidi]

It's Tuesday...:confused:

QOP...

You have to remember that we are alone as FCC"s. Most of us work 10-11 hours a day. In your job, you had a co-teacher. Someone could take so-and-so out of the room if it was overwhelming, or go take a lunch break and have a co-teacher or director to take over.

Imagine a 2 year old crying non stop, then setting off the babies, too. Now, you have three crying children by yourself.

Yes, she needs to give him time, but that doesn't mean she can't feel a bit like this on day 2! She just needs to hear from us what she's doing right, what else she can try, and that he'll be ok...eventually!

[Play Care]

QOP...

You have to remember that we are alone as FCC"s. Most of us work 10-11 hours a day. In your job, you had a co-teacher. Someone could take so-and-so out of the room if it was overwhelming, or go take a lunch break and have a co-teacher or director to take over.

Imagine a 2 year old crying non stop, then setting off the babies, too. Now, you have three crying children by yourself.

Yes, she needs to give him time, but that doesn't mean she can't feel a bit like this on day 2! She just needs to hear from us what she's doing right, what else she can try, and that he'll be ok...eventually!

Exactly. I bet Monday felt like three weeks!::::::

[preschoolteacher]

QOP...

You have to remember that we are alone as FCC"s. Most of us work 10-11 hours a day. In your job, you had a co-teacher. Someone could take so-and-so out of the room if it was overwhelming, or go take a lunch break and have a co-teacher or director to take over.

Imagine a 2 year old crying non stop, then setting off the babies, too. Now, you have three crying children by yourself.

Yes, she needs to give him time, but that doesn't mean she can't feel a bit like this on day 2! She just needs to hear from us what she's doing right, what else she can try, and that he'll be ok...eventually!

Yep. I agree.

[TheGoodLife]

QOP...

You have to remember that we are alone as FCC"s. Most of us work 10-11 hours a day. In your job, you had a co-teacher. Someone could take so-and-so out of the room if it was overwhelming, or go take a lunch break and have a co-teacher or director to take over.

Imagine a 2 year old crying non stop, then setting off the babies, too. Now, you have three crying children by yourself.

Yes, she needs to give him time, but that doesn't mean she can't feel a bit like this on day 2! She just needs to hear from us what she's doing right, what else she can try, and that he'll be ok...eventually!

Well said!

[playground1]

Heidi, I have four kids of my own, the last two are 18 months apart. I have nannied and cared for groups of kids many, many times. Please don't presume to know what I've done. Just because I'm not an in-home daycare worker doesn't mean I don't have the same issues you all have.

Secondly, OP apparently has several other dc children and should know that it takes time. Certainly more than one day. The point I was making was the same one that everyone else was. It takes time. How did she integrate the other kids?

[Play Care]

Heidi, I have four kids of my own, the last two are 18 months apart. I have nannied and cared for groups of kids many, many times. Please don't presume to know what I've done. Just because I'm not an in-home daycare worker doesn't mean I don't have the same issues you all have.

Secondly, OP apparently has several other dc children and should know that it takes time. Certainly more than one day. The point I was making was the same one that everyone else was. It takes time. How did she integrate the other kids?

I'll be honest, I usually know almost immediately if the kids are going to integrate well The majority of kids I've had have come from other care situations - not from a SAHM situation. The three siblings I had from a SAHM lasted two weeks. I knew by day 2 it wasn't happening.
And I DO have a helper a few days a week. She's a former Kindergarten teacher so between the two of us we tried. This job is a lot of work, at some point I felt like nothing should be that much work.

[playground1]

I'll be honest, I usually know almost immediately if the kids are going to integrate well The majority of kids I've had have come from other care situations - not from a SAHM situation.The three siblings I had from a SAHM lasted two weeks. I knew by day 2 it wasn't happening.
And I DO have a helper a few days a week. She's a former Kindergarten teacher so between the two of us we tried. This job is a lot of work, at some point I felt like nothing should be that much work.

I feel you. In Germany, women get 2 years maternity leave, so most of the kids we get are 18-24 months and have been at home with mom the whole time. It gets rough. We have one that has cried everyday for 6 months and won't stop unless she's in someone's lap. She freaks out around the other kids, wakes up screaming, and of course wakes everyone else up. She also won't eat.

We've had a couple from other centers and in-home daycares and it's just a world of difference. We're also not given the option of terming, so we just have to deal with it. Last year, shortly before summer vacation, one of my co-workers went on maternity leave and the other was ill and was off sick for a month. I had one intern helping me, and occasionally someone from the other group would come over for meals and diapers. You know how the kids are, they spot weakness like sharks, and everyone was misbehaving and crying for weeks.