Do Your Friends ...

[midaycare]

Do your friends expect a discount? Obviously not your good friends, because they wouldn't be good friends then. But one of my son's friends contacted me yesterday and asked me to watch her son for Wednesday & Friday afternoons this summer. That just happens to be the only opening I had, so I said sure.

I gave her my prices and she got all uncomfortable - I think she thought I was going to do it for next to nothing and consider it a "play date". She actually said, "It would be fun for my son to play with your son this summer, but that seems really expensive." For the record, I'm the cheapest (licensed) person around.

[Blackcat31]

I have NO idea if they expect a discount or not but I make it VERY clear to all friends and family that this is my income. I will NOT discount rates for anyone and as family or friends, they should understand AND respect that.

A lot of providers won't work with family/friends for that reason but I have no issues with it because I have no issues explaining why I don't give discounts and no issue standing behind what it.

[Leigh]

I don't take kids from people I know with only two exceptions: I take my best friend's child if her daycare is unavailable that day or she has an emergency, and I take my cousin's grandchild (who she cares for) if she has an appointment. I don't accept pay for either of these kids (they have both wanted to pay me). I don't want a business relationship with friends/relatives, and I take these kids as favors (and they do the same for me).

It's too much drama to have a financial relationship with someone who is a friend or relative, and I don't want that kind of relationship with those I care about.

[Maria2013]

Do your friends expect a discount?

my friends know better than to even ask me to work for them

[SignMeUp]

both and no

I have had both friends and relatives children in my care over lots of years. No discounts, though for all my families I will waive something or other on occasion. And for my friend's family, I saved their last few checks and never cashed them because she got seriously ill and had to quit working.

But in general, have done both. Have never discounted. Everyone remained respectful and it all worked for all of us. It's been ten years since I've had any of them now and still no hard feelings have ever been expressed.

If friend/family right off expected a discount, I would see that as a stopper -- there will be other problems, kwim?

[jenboo]

I told my sister before I opened my daycare that she would be treated like everyone else. She pays the same as everyone and follows the same rules.

I made it very clear that their would be daycare hours and non daycare hours (aunty jen time). My niece even knows this.

The only difference is that sometimes ill take my niece home after the last kid leaves or she will stay with me if we have family plans later. I don't think my sister has ever asked for this, its usually me saying oh hey, ill bring her home later if thats ok.

[midaycare]

Thanks for your replies. I am new to this, so I was just taken aback like, "Really? You expect me to discount because our sons know each other?"

[childcaremom]

Do your friends expect a discount? Obviously not your good friends, because they wouldn't be good friends then. But one of my son's friends contacted me yesterday and asked me to watch her son for Wednesday & Friday afternoons this summer. That just happens to be the only opening I had, so I said sure.

I gave her my prices and she got all uncomfortable - I think she thought I was going to do it for next to nothing and consider it a "play date". She actually said, "It would be fun for my son to play with your son this summer, but that seems really expensive." For the record, I'm the cheapest (licensed) person around.

I think this explains her mindset. She doesn't seem to understand that you are working and that this is your business.

[Shell]

Oh, my "friend " expected a friend discount, and I stupidly did it. 2 years of losing $40 a week to a friend, just for them to stiff me when I wasn't flexible enough anymore. Don't do it - I won't ever again!

[VTMom]

You could explain that having the boys play together would be lovely...let's set up playdates when I'm not working. Of course the playdates would be at both houses, naturally.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

You could explain that having the boys play together would be lovely...let's set up playdates when I'm not working. Of course the playdates would be at both houses, naturally.

Amen! happyface

I have worked with one friend. No discounts and she was a great client (her son ended up qualifying for the low income stuff where the state pays and I don't accept that). Not a coddler, which I LOVE.

My SIL was supposed to bring my nephew here. We just gave her the packet of info. and told her the rate. She is telling all other SIL's "Oh it's so EXPENSIVE and they don't accept the state pay..." We are around $30.00 LESS per week than the center here for his age (2) but she lives in the next town over with even cheaper rate that is comparable to ours. Unfortunately, they are really poorly maintained and poorly run programs except for the university's (HOWEVER the pay for that is much higher, obviously). All that said, I am in the process of filling my last spot now and while I would have LOVED to have had my nephew here doesn't look like it will turn out that way until she goes to a really awful place and decides he deserves better. Right now she prioritizes little luxuries over important things like where you child spends all day. Young moms. They're either great or they aren't.

[cheerfuldom]

I am sure she thought it would be easy to do this since the kids would play with each other and also, you are already taking care of the kids so in her mind, she doesnt even know what you would be charging for or worse, that she was doing you a favor in sending over a playmate for your child and trusting you with his care. I know that sounds crazy but like another poster said, she doesnt see what you are doing as work or worthy of a fair wage. There is the small possibility that she is unaware of local daycare charges but I doubt that. Dont feel bad about saying no or asking for a fair wage. I dont do friend discounts and dont know many providers that do....no one can afford to give discounts to every person that they are connected to in some way

[Crazy8]

I don't take on friends as clients as a general rule. I did watch a neighbor's 2 girls, my dd's best friends, for a few summers and we came to the agreement that if she was working she paid me. This helped with all the other times our kids were at each other's houses and we could run to the grocery store, etc. It always benefited her more because I had 2 other kids at home or to take with me anyway and she was more of a favor asker than I could ever be but at least with the "pay if you are working" guideline I didn't feel taken advantage of.

In your case she probably thought you'd take on her son for free because it would give your child someone to play with and she doesn't think of her son as being a "daycare child" just as being a friend. Playdates are fine, but when you are committing to be available to someone every week that is not a playdate, that is daycare.

[midaycare]

I think those of you that said you don't take on friends as clients are very smart. This will become one of my new rules.

[Mom of 4]

I had a friend use my child care services.

She was always the one late, always the one who had issues paying and thought she could walk all over me. We'd been friends for several years and I started as drop in care for her, but once she got divorced, she needed me full summers/holidays/drop in, and suddenly she couldn't ever pay me. Yet she could pay for her boyfriends' gifts, fast food, and other items. I even allowed her offer of housecleaning in exchange for a lower rate. When I realized she'd never ever follow through on her end, I told her I'd have to raise the rates. She whined like a baby. It was very annoying and disrespectful. I kept her kid for years and finally, when she told me one week she just couldn't see paying me because now her daughter was "older" (she turned 10), I termed and told her that was not a reason not to pay someoen doing all the activities I did, keeping her safe, fed etc. So after I left her, she sent her daughter away to live with dad and hasn't seen or really even TALKED to her, since. This was in 2012. Very very sad, but honestly, I guess that's the kind of mom she is and the kid is better with dad.

NEVER again would I EVER work with a "friend". BTW, this "friend" has had no use for me since other than, to ask me medical questions (I'm an MA/CNA and nursing student) or to ask for things. Last week she called and I answered by mistake, and she actually didn't want anything, but I didn't even really have much to say to her. I lost all respect for her with the way she not only treated me, but how she treated the daughter. Oh, and the new boyfriend, she pays for EVERYTHING. SMH