More Advice Needed

[MommyMuffin]

Okay so I only have my 2yo and another 2yo fulltime, all others are pt.
My daughter is always busy playing the other dcb just lays around, whines and he is older than my daughter. I put out colors and color with them and it lasts maybe 3 minutes, the same for playdoh, I read them books and I tried doing large beads yesterday and we do weather chart. Anyways it takes all of 15 minutes for us to go through all of the above. I rotate toys, I play make belive with them.
We just came in from outside (they just walk around and look at me..while I try to kick balls and sing songs). When I sing or do finger plays they just roll around on the floor or walk away (I know I cant sing).
So anyways we came inside and had snack, my daughter is reading a book talking to herself, dcb is laying on the couch sucking his thumb. He is 2.5 but acts like he is 1.5yo. I even bought him a book with his fav characters and he is not interesed in it at all. Of course I read to them, I ask him to pick out a book and he just walks away. When I read to them he just gets up and walks away. He doesnt walk away to play he just walks around, and lays down.
My point is my daughter plays all day and enjoys herself, we spend time doing things and then she plays w dcb or alone. The dcb just seems bored no matter what we are doing and it is really frustrating. Maybe b/c its just the 2 of them??
Why are they so bored??
I have come to think that there are too many toys and too much pressure on parents and providers to "entertain" children. To the point where they have no imaginations or creativity.
Thanks for reading...

[laundrymom]

you are trying too hard, give them toys, let them play,.. if he is whiny tell him to stop,... at 2 and a half he knows what stop means,.. if he is behind, mention it to mom,.. at home he may sit and watch tv all the time, you mentioned he had favorite characters,.. maybe thats why he wont play as much? I offer,.. they either play or just sit,.. but the harder you push him the tougher it will be,.. give him the tools to play, be an example. But let him find his own path.

[momofsix]

I think you hit it exactly, kids have no idea how to entertain themselves anymore they expect adults to entertain them, or toys that "do" everything for them so they don't have to use their imagination. I don't ever remember my parents entertaining me, yet I never felt neglected by them or felt they didn't love me!
I would not let dcb just lay around. If he's that tired then maybe he needs a nap while everyone else plays! My kids know that saying "I'm bored" is a phrase that I love to hear because it means they want me to come up with something for them to do that they will NOT like (like work) Maybe he would like some different types of activities? I know you said you kicked balls and he didn't like that but maybe things like cars, blocks, dinosaurs, rescue heroes...? (maybe ask mom about his favorite things to play with) I have all daughters and it took me a while to "get" boys...just a thought.
As for circle time, that's pretty normal for 2 year olds, don't expect too much from yourself or them! I try to alternate an active song with a calm activity or book throughout our circle, usually doing about 5 songs along with our calander, 2 short books and a llittle "talk" about whatever we're learning about or a flannelboard activity. We always start cirlce with the "shake your wiggles out" song, and I think it really does help! Do you have carpet squares or any type of concrete visual so they know where to keep their bodies during circle? That seems to really help too. Just don't stress about it-circle should be fun for all of you!

[kendallina]

Do you suspect that he's behind developmentally at all? How's his speech, does he understand what you're talking about. I am assuming because you don't mention any concerns in your post that everything seems okay there.

I think it is sooo true that many children today are 'entertained' by providers, parents, tv and toys that do everything for them. Have you asked mom how much tv he watches? I bet it's a lot. Or it's video games or something. Have you asked mom what he likes to play at home (she might just say, TV.., I've had parents answer that question this way). Are you comfortable talking to mom about the amount of tv that he watches and saying your concerns (if you do, indeed think that tv is the problem).

Is there anything that he likes to play at your house? If you just let him lay there would he just do that all day? Or would he complain or get bored and go play himself?

On a slightly related note:
A few weeks ago I was starting to think that I had too many toys available to the kids during free play. They weren't 'playing' with the toys, there was lot of dumping, a lot of starting something and not playing for more than a few minutes, a lot of wandering around. So, I removed way more than 1/2 the toys. Like, on each shelf I left only 1-2 things to play with (all open-ended toys as I don't have any electronic-y type toys) and the difference was AMAZING! I was afraid they'd be bored, but they played with everything in a much deeper way. They started playing with the toys in a much more meaningful way, the difference was incredible! Of course that means that I'll be rotating toys more frequently (probably every few weeks), so it's a little more work, but completely worth it!

On another slightly related note, my husband teaches college students and he's seen a tremendous shift in the students in the last few years. They cannot figure things out for themselves anymore and have to be told what to do at every turn. And these are graduate students in chemistry! It's scary how bad it's getting and I dont' think we've seen the worst yet.

Geez...what a tangent I'm on, what was this thread about... sorry!

[kidkair]

I too have very little out at one time and rotate monthly. I would try setting out three different activities or toys for each child there that day so the dcb can slowly get used to the different toys and the various ways you and your daughter play with them. I would continue to invite him to join you but don't keep bugging him when he says no or walks away. If you start reading a book with him and he gets up and walks around keep reading. He'll hear you while he's walking and maybe that's what he needs right now. If I remember right you just opened recently so he's still adjusting and getting to know how things go there and so are you. Stick to routines that are set and you'll settle in just fine soon enough. I've gone through similar reactions from new kids here especially ones who are single kids at home and have a parent who gives them lots of attention. They don't know how to act with more kids and different adults. I make sure to give them their space but let them know I'm not ignoring them by using their name a lot, commenting on what they are doing, and asking them to join me but being respectful if they don't want to. I also comment on what another kid is doing and suggest they might like to do the same such as "DCB you made a wonderful tower. I think maybe newDCB would like to make one too. Are you willing to share? Can you invite newDCB to come over?"

[MommyMuffin]

Thanks for the replies ladies!
I felt like I was doing something wrong and now I feel better!
I gave mom a newsletter about limiting kids exposure to tv a week ago, not quite sure how much he watches or what he does at home. They are a laid back family.
I am thinking of only putting out a few toys. I was even thinking about buying only old fashioned type toys, not sure if they would like them though.

As far as his development, I feel he is behind but I have no education to back this up. He is really hard to understand but he can put 2 -3 words together sometimes "hank you auby". I struggle to understand him. Most of the time he just grunts and points when he wants something. I would not stand for that!! Grrr I made him at least try to say the word. His mom and him call milk: moomoo....I think its time to learn the real word.
He is very clumsy still too.
I will clean out my toys again and keep doing activities and if he just wants to lay down then I'm going to try to not beat myself up about it.
Thanks for all the advice!
Thanks for the support

[kidkair]

He should be able to all of these:
Social and Emotional
Imitates behavior of others, especially adults and older children
More aware of herself as separate from others
More excited about company of other children
Demonstrates increasing independence
Begins to show defiant behavior
Separation anxiety increases toward midyear then fades

Movement
Walks alone
Pulls toys behind her while walking
Carries large toy or several toys while walking
Begins to run
Stands on tiptoe
Kicks a ball
Climbs onto and down from furniture unassisted
Walks up and down stairs holding on to support

Hand and Finger Skills
Scribbles on his or her own
Turns over container to pour out contents
Builds tower of four blocks or more
Might use one hand more often than the other

Hearing and Speech
Points to object or picture when it’s named for him
Recognizes names of familiar people, objects, and body parts
Says several single words (by 15 to 18 months)
Uses simple phrases (by 18 to 24 months)
Uses 2- to 4-word sentences
Follows simple instructions
Repeats words overheard in conversation

Cognitive
Finds objects even when hidden under two or three covers
Begins to sort by shapes and colors
Begins make-believe play

This is the two year old checklist from http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/index.html that I got earlier this fall. I redesigned it a bit for my usage. They have others as well.