3 On Probation..What Can I Do Different In Future Interviews

[WImom]

I have three kids on probation now. They all feed of each other all day. I can't tell who the main one is and they each have so many issues on their own. Talking back, screaming for 5-10m when asked to do something they don't want to, using potty talk, laughing at me when talking to them, can't sit for 5-10 minutes while I make lunch so lunch has been taking 20-30minutes. I've never known kids to be so disrespectful to adults. I really am sad to say this may be a new trend.

One girl, two boys. I've tried ignoring the behavior but then they feed off each other and it gets chaotic. I feel like I have no control most days with these kids.

So April 4th I will have 1-3 less kids. The other kids have their own things but not like these three and they are starting to pick up little things from them but they do change it when I talk to them. I will be potentially going from 8 to 5 kids.

I need to do this to be less stressed in evening and with my own kids. I'm so exhausted at the end of the day that I'm crabby to my own family.

What can I do different at my future interviews? Two of these kids I just had a feeling and was thinking money and spaces filled and should not have taken them and one I didn't find out until they started and were comfortable here.

[CraftyMom]

Always go with your gut! It can be hard, especially when you need the money, but if you have a feeling about a child don't ignore it, because 99% of the time your gut is right and you can save yourself headaches in the future by not enrolling. I've learned this the hard way...I think most of us have

[Laurel]

Always go with your gut! It can be hard, especially when you need the money, but if you have a feeling about a child don't ignore it, because 99% of the time your gut is right and you can save yourself headaches in the future by not enrolling. I've learned this the hard way...I think most of us have

Don't you have a two week trial period?

Laurel

[WImom]

I've been doing childcare for 8 years and have only termed once. I also have a two week trial.

One of the boys (3y in Jan) I still wasn't sure after 2 weeks. He started out rough but he got better towards the end so I thought there was hope- he is very hyper (wasn't at the interview, sat down and played). I changed my program to offer more movement and chalked it up to being winter (he started in Jan.). But we have been outside everyday now for 2 weeks, he is just so hyper.

The girl (3.5y)is my screamer. That got a little better and that was her only thing. Now she follows these two boys around and does what they do and the screaming has gotten worse on top of it. (Stood screaming in my hall for 10 minutes to at the top of her lungs screaming "I am mad!" because it was clean up time. (I moved her to the hall after she started it in the playroom). I also gave her two warnings before clean up was going to start. She had never been in daycare before so I chalked some of her behavior to that. Besides the screaming she is very sassy "I asked her to use her indoor voice on Friday and she told me in the sassiest voice "Whatever!" and ignored me. The screaming didn't start until after the 2 week trial (she started in Nov.).

This other boy is 4.5y and maybe he has outgrown my program. I don't know. He was put on probation back in Oct. and got better but these last few months is back to his same stuff and more. He always has an answer for everything. Told a girl today that sits next to him at lunch "I'm going to smack you in the face" and waved his arm at her. I think he has stayed on so long because I love his parents. They are the best parents you can ask for in DC parents. BUT I told myself I don't have them all day, I have their kid. He has been with me for 2 years.

Some of this will go away with the January boy leaving but not all of it. When you put a child on probation and it doesn't work out do you give them two week or is the last day of probation the end of their time with you?

[Blackcat31]

I have three kids on probation now. They all feed of each other all day. I can't tell who the main one is and they each have so many issues on their own. Talking back, screaming for 5-10m when asked to do something they don't want to, using potty talk, laughing at me when talking to them, can't sit for 5-10 minutes while I make lunch so lunch has been taking 20-30minutes. I've never known kids to be so disrespectful to adults. I really am sad to say this may be a new trend.

One girl, two boys. I've tried ignoring the behavior but then they feed off each other and it gets chaotic. I feel like I have no control most days with these kids.

So April 4th I will have 1-3 less kids. The other kids have their own things but not like these three and they are starting to pick up little things from them but they do change it when I talk to them. I will be potentially going from 8 to 5 kids.

I need to do this to be less stressed in evening and with my own kids. I'm so exhausted at the end of the day that I'm crabby to my own family.

What can I do different at my future interviews? Two of these kids I just had a feeling and was thinking money and spaces filled and should not have taken them and one I didn't find out until they started and were comfortable here.

How old are these kids and are they related or from different families?

Have you discussed any of this with their parent(s)?
If so, what do they say about it?

[Blackcat31]

Oops, we must have been typing at the same time...

[WImom]

Yes, I've talked with all three families many times.

[CraftyMom]

Don't you have a two week trial period?

Laurel

Sometimes your gut tells not to enroll a child. To me I would rather skip the two week trial and headaches by not enrolling when I get a gut feeling.

[LadyPearl]

For me, I do some investigating before actually talking to the parents. I don't always answer my phone so I will listen to a message and then go online to look around or ask my mil. I live in a small town so it usually isn't hard to get info. I have avoided a mother who had been recently busted for drugs, a child with serious behavior issues, and just a bad gut feeling based on Facebook friends and conversations. Some may say it's judgmental but these families will be in my home and around my kids. I won't work with just anybody.

[Blackcat31]

I've been doing childcare for 8 years and have only termed once. I also have a two week trial.

One of the boys (3y in Jan) I still wasn't sure after 2 weeks. He started out rough but he got better towards the end so I thought there was hope- he is very hyper (wasn't at the interview, sat down and played). I changed my program to offer more movement and chalked it up to being winter (he started in Jan.). But we have been outside everyday now for 2 weeks, he is just so hyper.

Sometimes with kids like this a little tough love goes a long way. How about doing a system of rewards. Like if he listens and behaves in the morning, he can do x in the afternoon. Sometimes kids just need to know that being good has it's benefits.

The girl (3.5y)is my screamer. That got a little better and that was her only thing. Now she follows these two boys around and does what they do and the screaming has gotten worse on top of it. (Stood screaming in my hall for 10 minutes to at the top of her lungs screaming "I am mad!" because it was clean up time. (I moved her to the hall after she started it in the playroom). I also gave her two warnings before clean up was going to start. She had never been in daycare before so I chalked some of her behavior to that. Besides the screaming she is very sassy "I asked her to use her indoor voice on Friday and she told me in the sassiest voice "Whatever!" and ignored me. The screaming didn't start until after the 2 week trial (she started in Nov.).

This is probably the one behavior I would have THE hardest time dealing with. Especially because the child is so old. At her age, she FULLY understands sassy and no-sassy.

In this case, I think the DCG needs a big does of "I am the boss here NOT you". Every.single.time. she is sassy or screams, she needs to have an immediate consequence. I would require her to sit in the "feeling" spot until she calms down and is willing to talk about why people don't just screech and scream at the top of their lungs when they want something.

I am willing to bet, that somewhere along the lines, someone taught her that by screaming she can get what she wants. YOU now need to teach her that screaming at your house gets her less than what she wants. I would remove privileges each and every time.

I would also not feel on bit bad about rewarding the other kids for NOT screaming. "Catch" them using their words or acting appropriately and politely and reward them randomly for it. Positive praise to others who are doing the right thing sometimes is a good motivator for those kids who are being not-so-nice. ...kwim?

This other boy is 4.5y and maybe he has outgrown my program. I don't know. He was put on probation back in Oct. and got better but these last few months is back to his same stuff and more. He always has an answer for everything. Told a girl today that sits next to him at lunch "I'm going to smack you in the face" and waved his arm at her. I think he has stayed on so long because I love his parents. They are the best parents you can ask for in DC parents. BUT I told myself I don't have them all day, I have their kid. He has been with me for 2 years.

I would NOT tolerate that one bit. (bolded)

Immediately he would be asked to leave the table and go sit in time out. When time out was done, I would ask him to apologize to the DCG and then he would lose certain privileges until he was able to speak nicer to the others.

His parents may be golden daycare parents but in my opinion earn an "F" if they are aware of this kind of behavior and aren't trying to put a stop to it.

If the consequence for an action isn't "tough" enough or uncomfortable enough to motivate a person to change their behavior, then the consequence needs to be reviewed and changed if necessary.

Some of this will go away with the January boy leaving but not all of it. When you put a child on probation and it doesn't work out do you give them two week or is the last day of probation the end of their time with you?

I replied I red above.

I hope that helps a little....

(((Hugs)))) for dealing with all that. :hug:

[WImom]

I replied I red above.

I hope that helps a little....

(((Hugs)))) for dealing with all that. :hug:

I've been doing all of that for 2 months + now and it isn't working which is why I'm putting them on probation.

One thing with rewarding other or telling other I like what they are doing these three will say "Thanks" like I'm talking to them! ***!

Thank you for the advice though and it would work with all my other kids and does.

[Blackcat31]

One thing with rewarding other or telling other I like what they are doing these three will say "Thanks" like I'm talking to them! ***!

:: I know it's not funny but that part made me laugh.

In that case, I would definitely go with the probation then. Put a star on your calendar and when that date arrives, if there has been no improvement, term.

You shouldn't have to deal with such stress when all the other kids you have in care are able to blend in and act appropriately.

Sometimes it really does only take one or two (or three in your case) "bad apples" to ruin the bunch.

[WImom]

Yeah, it makes me chuckle to myself too...LOL. All you can do it laugh right?

[Starburst]

What can I do different at my future interviews? Two of these kids I just had a feeling and was thinking money and spaces filled and should not have taken them and one I didn't find out until they started and were comfortable here.

Do you require the children to attend the interview? Usually you can get a mini "sneak peak" on the child-parent relationship and how they act in your environment. Many times children who are disrespectful to their parents are disrespectful to others in general (though in a few cases it's the opposite where the child is disrespectful only to their parents but not to other adults).

[Josiegirl]

Maybe try extending the initial 2 week trial period until you get a definite feeling one way or the other?

I feel for you, sounds like quite a handful you're dealing with. I have a little girl who screams at the top of her lungs if she doesn't get her way. I even told her today that it sounded like she must've broken her arm or something with the sound she was making. What happened to cause it? A 2 yo had come up and taken the backpack she was playing with.