DCK Strips When Upset

[craftymissbeth]

I just started a new dcb who's 3 today. When he gets angry or doesn't want to do something he strips his clothes off. When he's REALLY upset he takes off everything AND his pull-up. Is there anything I can do? His parents put him in time out for it, but I feel like I should give it as little energy as possible.

He's potty training and this all started when PTing started. I don't think he's quite ready to potty train. He's ready in every way except mentally. I reminded him throughout the day that he needed to use the potty but he said no each time. He only used the restroom once. I told dcm I won't force it.

Also, when it was time for nap he stripped and then threw his blankets everywhere and hid in the playhouse. I got him out and tried to put him down again. He did it again. I put in a pack n play. He climbed out. I gave him the option of sleeping in the PNP or mat and he chose the mat. He went to sleep right away.

I realize all of this is just him trying to gain control but I need a game plan before tomorrow. I'm exhausted!

[daycarediva]

Can you trust him in the bathroom? Because that's where I would send naked kiddos.

"Oh, dcb! Privacy, please!" and shoo him into the bathroom, NICE as pie. With a "You can come out when you're all dressed." *big smile*

I would not allow him to be naked with other kids around, and this tactic defused my potty word kid and my yeller (when mad), pretty quickly.

[craftymissbeth]

Can you trust him in the bathroom? Because that's where I would send naked kiddos.

"Oh, dcb! Privacy, please!" and shoo him into the bathroom, NICE as pie. With a "You can come out when you're all dressed." *big smile*

I would not allow him to be naked with other kids around, and this tactic defused my potty word kid and my yeller (when mad), pretty quickly.

No he can't be trusted. He has to be with me every minute of the day because he does NOT listen to one word I say.

I'm wondering if backwards footie pajamas would work.

[daycarediva]

No he can't be trusted. He has to be with me every minute of the day because he does NOT listen to one word I say.

I'm wondering if backwards footie pajamas would work.

that would have been my next suggestion.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

:::::::: Oh my. Backwards jammies sound good.

[daycare]

I would try talking to the kid when he is not mad. get out some play-doh...

this is what I would say

Me. I see that sometimes you get really angry and you take your clothing off.

DCK: I am so mad I am ______________

Me: Oh, I see, I understand how you feel. I get really angry sometimes like that too. But I would never take my clothing off, no body wants to see my butt, say this in a very silly voice. get him to laugh. What do you think we could do instead?

DCK: maybe we can kick a wall or punch your cat.
Me: I don't think that those would be a very good ideas, you might break your toes or the cat might bite you, oh that would be bad.

DCK: oh.
Me: I do see that you are a wonderful helper. Do you think that you could help me to think of some ideas of what you can do the next time you are so angry. Like maybe you can come give me a hug or maybe you can sit and read a book. And if you are feeling really angry, which is ok, you can cry. It's ok to feel angry, but it's not ok to take your clothing off.

I think you get the point. I have been very successful at talking with the children and getting close to them. Let them know that I really want to understand how they feel and I care. This tells the child that they are safe, they can trust me and I will always care about them no matter what choice they make. I am patient and understanding, I want them to know this.

I feel that when children act out like this, we can use it as an opportunity to learn them better and understand them better by talking to them at a time when the air is clear.

Children will always test the boundaries, especially new ones in a new place, with new people and new rules, new friends. Ugh that sounds really scary for any person.

[craftymissbeth]

I guess I should add that the way he speaks and acts reminds me very much of a 12-18 month old. He is very verbal, but it's a bunch of garbled "nonsense". I'm sure he's actually trying to say words but no one understands him. And he seems to either not understand what I say to him or chooses not to listen. Not quite sure which.

[daycare]

I guess I should add that the way he speaks and acts reminds me very much of a 12-18 month old. He is very verbal, but it's a bunch of garbled "nonsense". I'm sure he's actually trying to say words but no one understands him. And he seems to either not understand what I say to him or chooses not to listen. Not quite sure which.

I have one that no one understands but me. But only because I wanted to take the time to understand him. I sit and talk with him every single day. He is way way way behind all of my kids. He will be 3 next month and my 18 month knows a lot more than him and can speak better.

Give him a chance. If you show him you care, he will care back.

[nannyde]

Oh please send him to me. I love kids like this. He sounds brilliant.

Backwards footed pajamas, cease potty training, and a declaration of war would be phase one. happyface

[cheerfuldom]

I agree with Nan. definitely backward jammies and no more forcing on the potty training. If he asked, I would take OR if it was a time when everyone was going anyway, such as right before nap. Right now the emphasis should be on getting him to your schedule. The parents picked a horrible time to start potty training.

You have a two week transition period for daycare right? I think you can clearly see that he is high needs at best, possibly delayed at worse. Its up to you if you can handle that at the end of the period.

I will happily take special needs or delayed kids BUT they have to follow the same general routine (aka eat and nap for me) and their behaviors cannot be disruptive. If I tried everything for a few weeks and this kid was still stripping down, running around and resisting the schedule, I would term.....not because he has delays but because at that point, my care does not fit his needs. You cant have one kid tearing the place a part.

[craftymissbeth]

Today is MUCH better. I had dcm bring a pair of footed pajamas. I noticed him trying to get ahold of the zipper but when he figured it out he gave up. I want him to feel what he feels but stripping down isn't the way to handle those feelings.

I've stopped potty training. Dcm seemed ok with it but we'll see. I ask him if he'd like to go and the answer is always no... so no it is.

[mountainside13]

Oh please send him to me. I love kids like this. He sounds brilliant.

Backwards footed pajamas, cease potty training, and a declaration of war would be phase one. happyface

[craftymissbeth]

The footed pajamas were the ticket. Yay!

[Blackcat31]

Personally, I would not have this power struggle with him.

If he strips, he sits.

He can participate as soon as he puts his clothes back on.

That's it. No fan fare, no arguing, no discussion, no bargaining, no power struggle, no attention. NOTHING.

While I do agree with Nan that the backwards footed pajama's will work I have to wonder...what's next? How is he going to learn that he cannot take his clothes off just because he is upset?

Granted the footed PJ's will stop him for now but what is it teaching him?

It's a cure for today but what about tomorrow?

[craftymissbeth]

True. I've tried putting him time out... he runs, I put him back, he runs, I put him back... over and over. The time out ends up being more of a struggle than the stripping.

I feel so lost