Terming...I've Never Done It

[SilverSabre25]

but I'm going to pretty soon. I just can NOT stand this child any longer. I'm working to find a replacement for her but it's likely to take some time. She's 16 months and screams like an animal most of the day (at every little transition, if someone comes too close to her, if someone has a toy she wants...). Her parents are obnoxious (and have been claiming all week that she has a cold that I see no signs of and telling me that I need to wipe her nose which isn't running...) and are managing to cheat/guilt/trick me out of $40 a week (long story, but pregnancy brain doesn't help in these situations). So anyway, long story short, I'm trying to plan what I'm going to tell the parents once I find a replacement. I plan to give them two weeks' notice.

Would it be okay to tell them that I have a family who needs a full-time space and that since she's my newest part-timer, I need them to find alternate care? Or do I need to find some other wording? I don't want to bring up the screaming or the parents' issues for this because I don't feel like it's fair. I just want a way to word it that makes it clear that it's more of a business decision ($120/week vs. $60/week seems like an obvious choice...). I could consider offering to let them keep the space if they pay what they are supposed to be paying for this part-time space, which is $100/week...except that I don't like the family very much.

Sorry, this is long and rambley and maybe not very coherent. Any thoughts?

[laundryduchess@yahoo.com]

I would just tell them that you have a family interviewing tonight, and should they want to use you you will give them the option of paying for a full time slot, starting immediately, or you will give them a 2 week termination notice. That full time has priority over part time care.

[DCMom]

I would just tell them that you have a family interviewing tonight, and should they want to use you you will give them the option of paying for a full time slot, starting immediately, or you will give them a 2 week termination notice. That full time has priority over part time care.

I agree with laundryduchess.

On the screaming, I have a 15-month old who is going through this phase. I think it has to do with being non-verbal; they have something to say, but they can't say it. So they scream~it gets the attention quite effectively I must say

It drives me batty. I've been working on basic sign language with him and that has helped, but I can't wait till he can talk! I tolerate it because parents and older brother are great (he is too when he isn't screaming!)

I guess that is where our situations are different.

[Blackcat31]

I would just tell them that you have a family interviewing tonight, and should they want to use you you will give them the option of paying for a full time slot, starting immediately, or you will give them a 2 week termination notice. That full time has priority over part time care.

I've done that before but a word of caution, if you are going to offer them that deal, then expect them to take you up on it and then you will have a screaming kid you dont really like along with parents you don't care for either on a full time basis. I also thought the family I had would pass on the offer, and it would be an easy way out...but they chose to stay and pay...so I was stuck with them. I would think about just letting them know that their child is just not a good fit for your program and you are going to replace her. In my experience, these things always backfire and I end up EXACTLY where I didn't want to be. If the kid is screaming and crying all the time, why would you want her there more?

[SilverSabre25]

I agree with laundryduchess.

On the screaming, I have a 15-month old who is going through this phase. I think it has to do with being non-verbal; they have something to say, but they can't say it. So they scream~it gets the attention quite effectively I must say

It drives me batty. I've been working on basic sign language with him and that has helped, but I can't wait till he can talk! I tolerate it because parents and older brother are great (he is too when he isn't screaming!)

I guess that is where our situations are different.

DCMom, we do use sign language here. She has been like this ever since she started with me several months ago. She hasn't picked up any sign language, either. My other kids in this age range haven't been like this...she's really over the top with it. Even the speech delayed/possibly autistic boy that I watched last spring wasn't like this. And she does have some words...she just chooses to shriek instead of anything else.

Thanks, laundry, that's basically what I was going for, wording-wise.

Blackcat, that's my concern with offering to let them keep the spot if they pay the amount they're supposed to be paying. She wouldn't be here any different time, I'd just be getting "correct" amount of pay for the space. Normally my p/t rate for fewer than 5 hours/day is $20/day. She's here 5 days/week for 4 hours, so that's $100/week. The parents pulled some stupid crap and got me to agree to this current schedule before they told me the hours they were talking about (damn pregnancy brain...my mistake, but still) for only $60/week. I still am not sure if I want her here, period, but at least getting the correct amount of money would make it feel easier to deal with, iykwim.

[Gurdy]

If you give them the option of paying full time, they will take you up on it AND bring her fulltime. That is the last thing that you want. I am sure your feelings about this child/family are made much worse by the fact that they are not paying what they should be. I HAVE to know how they did this to you!! If you do not mind telling...

[SilverSabre25]

It's not paying full-time, it's paying the price that anyone else with this spot would be paying. They'd still only be paying for the 4 hours they are using. My p/t is expensive for a reason...I prefer full-timers. I charge $20/day for less than 5 hours, $30/day for more than 5 hours, and $120/week for full time. They bring her 4 hours a day five days a week and SHOULD be paying $100/week, but instead pay $60/week.

I might was well explain how that came about. It's long, bear with me.

They started out a couple months ago fulltime, MT all day, WTh 1-4, F 12-4, paying $100/week. They said they couldn't afford the full $140 I was charging at that point (I've since dropped my rates, but that's unrelated to them) and since I was in desperate need of a client, I agreed.

A couple weeks later, the dad called me to tell me that DCM had quit her second job and they only needed me MTF. he asked how much that would be. I waffled for a minute before telling him that it would be $60/week (because of their $100/week f/t rate). I should have told him that I'd need to think about it. Honestly, that was only $10 less than "normal" so I didn't care.

A couple weeks after that, DCD told me, at pick-up (not the calmest time and I learned my lesson about discussing these matters in chaos), that they had "crunched the numbers" and calculated that they were getting 20 hours/week for $60, or $260 a month (or something I forget the monthly number he said) and wondered if they could bring her only 15 hours for the same price. Stupidly, I said, sure...because I stupidly ASSuMEd that they would be using shorter hours on M and T or something. He THEN mentioned that it would be 1 until 4 all 5 days. I stopped him there and said that I could only agree to that IF they agreed to not nap her in the morning because she would be here only during naptime on that schedule and I couldn't have a kid here every day not napping. We ended up agreeing that they would bring her before lunch because "getting here and having to go straight down for a nap would be too hard for her" (their words, NOT mine). It wasn't until later that I realized what I had agreed to...5 days a week of a very inconvenient schedule for MUCH less than it's worth.

[kidkair]

Dear Parents,
This letter is to inform you that I have reached my capacity limit by adding another full timer. I have looked at each of my part-timers and have made a decision. I will no longer be able to care for *** two weeks from today. Her last day here will be ***. Thank you.

Sincerely,
***

[Blackcat31]

Dear Parents,
This letter is to inform you that I have reached my capacity limit by adding another full timer. I have looked at each of my part-timers and have made a decision. I will no longer be able to care for *** two weeks from today. Her last day here will be ***. Thank you.

Sincerely,
***

Go with what she said! Short and to the point!

[Gurdy]

A couple weeks after that, DCD told me, at pick-up (not the calmest time and I learned my lesson about discussing these matters in chaos), that they had "crunched the numbers" and calculated that they were getting 20 hours/week for $60, or $260 a month (or something I forget the monthly number he said) and wondered if they could bring her only 15 hours for the same price. Stupidly, I said, sure...because I stupidly ASSuMEd that they would be using shorter hours on M and T or something. He THEN mentioned that it would be 1 until 4 all 5 days. I stopped him there and said that I could only agree to that IF they agreed to not nap her in the morning because she would be here only during naptime on that schedule and I couldn't have a kid here every day not napping. We ended up agreeing that they would bring her before lunch because "getting here and having to go straight down for a nap would be too hard for her" (their words, NOT mine). It wasn't until later that I realized what I had agreed to...5 days a week of a very inconvenient schedule for MUCH less than it's worth.

I hate when parents try to discuss business while I am taking care of kids. I have learned my lesson on that as well. I would term these people right away. I would not wait to fill the spot. Just give them notice, make sure they pay you in advance.

[missnikki]

Dear Parents,
This letter is to inform you that I have reached my capacity limit by adding another full timer. I have looked at each of my part-timers and have made a decision. I will no longer be able to care for *** two weeks from today. Her last day here will be ***. Thank you.

Sincerely,
***

Yep. What she said.

[SilverSabre25]

Thank you!!

[Abigail]

This is kind of related to your post. When you have a family switch from full time down to part time, or the other way around...do you switch what their deposit is or was?

I agree that you should just give them a termination notice. Write down for your own record-keeping why it is that you terminated. "[Child] is not a good fit for my program. He/She screams endlessly and disrupts all the other children. I can not provide the same quality of care to every child with [child] demanding much more attention than others...." This way, you can just add in here what you told the parents or have a copy of your termination notice, but also keep it for your personal records if you ever go back and wonder "Why did I terminate" LOL

I'm actually not sure on legal terms whether you can terminate because you found a full-timer. If it is in your handbook that any part-timers may have their position filled with a full-timer when one comes along and be offered to become full-time themselves before they're terminated it might work....it just doesn't sound nice.

[Lucy]

To the OP, yes... I would go with the "new family needing full-time care" story. Whether it's true or not. Seems the easiest way to get out of it.

[legomom922]

I disagree. Telling them you filled the spot with a FT instead is going to PISS them off, and who knows what tehy will do to retailiate. They will also be mad that you did not give them an opportunity to go FT.

When I wanted to term my first child, I got advice on here to put the blame on yourself, so you don't offend the parents, and that was good advice.

When I termed my pnp rocker boy, I told the parents in a letter, that Due to some medical issues I was having, I could no longer take care of dcb because I did not want to give him sub standard care and he had too much energy for me to be able to handle at point in time. So I made it sound like the blame was on me, not the child. Of course I did not tell them how bad their kid really was!