DCP Calling Others...What Should I Do

[Needavacanow]

So DCD just came in and told me that another DCM had called him/his wife last night to complain about me. He wasn't sure of exact complaints, something along the lines of no communication on my part.
This mom was just here until she could get her boy into sisters daycare, started Dec, leaving at end of month. She's the first one here in the morning and always comes a couple of minutes after closing. I have missed countless sporting events of DS because of this (when you have to leave at 445, you have to leave, you ladies know how it is) so family has taken off without me.
So last night she texts that she's going to be late and ends of showing up almost an hour late. I didn't see her as her husband showed up at the same time and came in to get DCB. He mumbled something about "going to have a talk with his wife, she called me.." Whatever. So I ran to car, had to wait for her to move and left.
This morning she apologized and I was of course pretty blunt about all the lates and missing my class last night, and I 'accidentally' insinuated I only have to deal with this crap for one more week, I'm bad for verbal diarreah.
DCM came to pick up a little early today, I faked good spirits, DCB so funny today blah blah blah. And then other DCD told me about phone call last night and I'm beyond shocked. I can't wrap my head around why she'd feel the need to trash me to long term clients because she was late.
So what should I do? Is there liability issues by immediate termination or by waiting out the week. And I should add that she did try calling another DCP but she never accepted the call, thank god I only gave her two reference numbers.

[TwinKristi]

WOW!! I would be livid!! I would call her tonight and explain that what she did was unacceptable and that if she had a problem with you she should address that with YOU, not other clients. I would tell her that due to this she will be termed immediately, unless you contract states otherwise. But be prepared for some backlash!!

[daycare]

I would not term over this. I think doing that will only fuel the fire. It is already coming to an end.

i would call or email the mother and let her know that you are aware of the phone calls. try to sympathize with her saying that you understand that she feels frustrated and maybe you were looking to vent, but that if there is ever an issue, it needs to be brought to your attention. I might add I expect each family to be able to communicate with me at all times if/when ever there are issues. Building trusting relationships here is important. What happens with you and her is no one else business and that she needs to only discuss any matters. You are running a business and these are the rules that each family has agreed to at the time of enrollment.

Let her know if there are any issues that you can address and that if she has any issues, she needs to take them up with you. I would say this and let it go. they are already on their way out.

[LadyMacbeth]

I had a similar problem. A dcm didn't like my cutting her off when she started ex husband bashing and so she started nit picking about everything else and started calling other parents to get them to do the same.

Best you can do is go the extra mile for the other parents and they'll make up their own mind about you. As for the gossipy mom, I would terminate. That behavior is inexcusable no matter what you said. Obviously she made one family uncomfortable

[Needavacanow]

I think I should clarify that when I stated that she was leaving and I wouldn't have to put up with her lateness after this next week it was in jest, albeit poor taste, that was AFTER the calls to other DCPs. She called them the night she was an hour late as some kind of... I don't know, getting some kind of upper hand because she's worried about being termed or.. I just don't know. She didn't call because of what I said.

[daycare]

I think I should clarify that when I stated that she was leaving and I wouldn't have to put up with her lateness after this next week it was in jest, albeit poor taste, that was AFTER the calls to other DCPs. She called them the night she was an hour late as some kind of... I don't know, getting some kind of upper hand because she's worried about being termed or.. I just don't know. She didn't call because of what I said.

how many weeks does she have left?

[mountainside13]

If she is doing those things when her child is still in your care I would be afraid what she would do if you termed immediately. If it was me I would stick it out. But you do what you feel is right!

[Needavacanow]

One week, until the end of the month.
Daycare, I could put up with anything for a week. We've all termed and had just one more week of bad behaviours from both parents and children, but isn't this different in that she's going out of her way to wary parents of me. That seems a little evil to me, different than the parents who are late, flakey, not all there. This is just downright mean. I am livid right now, and am with Twinkristi that she shouldn't be able to do that with no repercussions. And do I really have to let this woman into my home knowing what I know. That's just demeaning.

[AmyLeigh]

One week, until the end of the month.
Daycare, I could put up with anything for a week. We've all termed and had just one more week of bad behaviours from both parents and children, but isn't this different in that she's going out of her way to wary parents of me. That seems a little evil to me, different than the parents who are late, flakey, not all there. This is just downright mean. I am livid right now, and am with Twinkristi that she shouldn't be able to do that with no repercussions. And do I really have to let this woman into my home knowing what I know. That's just demeaning.

It looks like you just answered your own question. Hope it works out for you.:hug:

[Needavacanow]

I was thinking the same thing Mountainside. Maybe she thought I wouldn't be told?
But what are things parents do if they're termed? Internet trashing? I'm in Canada, doubt she'd even confront me . Know I won't confront her after term letter sent.

[cheerfuldom]

I would term immediately. Then I would have a short explanation to all parents so that it has been addressed directly and respectfully to them, even if they have not been called yet because they may hear about it in the future.

"Jen, I wanted to let you know that Kim and her daughter Ava will not longer be with our group. It is my understanding that she was calling parents complaining about my services while I was working with this family. Clearly she was not happy here so I did go ahead and end that relationship. If you ever have any concerns about anything that another parent tries to say or involved you in, I would appreciate the chance to discuss any concerns you might have. I hope that after X years of working with you, my reputation would speak for itself"

[TwinKristi]

Yeah I just can't imagine faking it with not only the mom but the kid all week long! Then she also feels she like she has you backed into a corner, she has the upper hand. She's probably hoping that your other clients will start thinking and brewing her notions and leave too. I just wouldn't tolerate that BS from anyone let alone someone who was in the wrong and is only a temp spot! Heck no! I mean I put up with more than I should in some cases but I wouldn't put up with blatant disrespect and honestly downright blatant smack talking about me. And I would term her immediately and like the ^^ said, compose a letter to the parents and apologize for the nonsense and thank those who came to you. They obviously know that this wasn't cool and alerted you for damage control. Glad you only have 2 numbers too! Most of the parents on my referrals list are past parents, only 1 current one.

[mountainside13]

I was thinking the same thing Mountainside. Maybe she thought I wouldn't be told?
But what are things parents do if they're termed? Internet trashing? I'm in Canada, doubt she'd even confront me . Know I won't confront her after term letter sent.

I'm guessing she thought the other parents wouldn't say anything which maybe why she did it. There is a whole list of things parents will do if they are upset with a provider, justified or not.

Facebook trashing
Craigslist and other advertisement site that providers use to fill openings.
Call licensing
Harass you

[AngiesCareXYZ]

I would not term over this. I think doing that will only fuel the fire. It is already coming to an end.

i would call or email the mother and let her know that you are aware of the phone calls. try to sympathize with her saying that you understand that she feels frustrated and maybe you were looking to vent, but that if there is ever an issue, it needs to be brought to your attention. I might add I expect each family to be able to communicate with me at all times if/when ever there are issues. Building trusting relationships here is important. What happens with you and her is no one else business and that she needs to only discuss any matters. You are running a business and these are the rules that each family has agreed to at the time of enrollment.

Let her know if there are any issues that you can address and that if she has any issues, she needs to take them up with you. I would say this and let it go. they are already on their way out.

happyfacehappyface

[KidGrind]

I would think about terming. I would address the DCM:

Hello Jane, how was your day? I wanted to take the time to address your calling other clients to discuss my lack of communication. How does that resolve your perception of a problem?

She responds & if it’s BS I’d continue.

Well, I’m perplexed. I also don’t tolerate disrespect or the attempt to turn wonderful clients into a mob of unhappy parents. I know Jr. is your beloved. I know what a good mother you are & would never take the chance of leaving Jr. with someone you have concerns about. This will be his last day in my care.

She shares it’s inconvenient blah, blah, blah.

I am sure it’s inconvenient and puts you in a predicament. Your calling clients outside the context of your receiving their private information is a violation of trust and placed me in an unfortunate predicament. You have left me with no other alternative. Jr. was a joy to provide care for. I wish you the best.