R.I.E. Parenting? Can it be True?

[Cat Herder]

It seems the pendulum is swinging way back.

Thoughts???

http://www.vanityfair.com/society/2014/02/rie-parenting-trend-hollywood

[jessrlee]

I don't think it's a great article on what RIE actually IS, BUT I can only hope that it takes off!!

[Cat Herder]

Yeah, the article is kind of lame, but I thought Vanity Fair was trendy right now and more people would read it?? ::::

It was on GMA this morning, too, though.... happyface http://www.rie.org/product/the-rie-manual/

I know it has worked in childcare for over 40 years. It would be cool if it made it's way into more parenting plans.

[Blackcat31]

Magda Gerber lovethis

"they don’t want to encourage kids to feel like performers"

“a moving prison.” ::

"all these gizmos for babies exist because we don’t want to hear them cry".

happyface happyface“The idea of raising kids who are competent from an early age makes a lot of sense.” happyface happyface


(*this only proves I am not have as crazy as I thought I might be...)

[MyAngels]

Whatever just happened to raising your children? Why do we need a "program" or a "philosophy?"

I managed to raise three pretty good kids by pretty much just following my instincts.

[Laurel]

Whatever just happened to raising your children? Why do we need a "program" or a "philosophy?"

I managed to raise three pretty good kids by pretty much just following my instincts.

Just by reading this I don't completely get it. I'm a not quite sure why a short break in a baby swing is a bad thing. Balance and common sense are a good combo. Next thing they'll tell us is that we should't use a stroller. After all that isn't natural. If a baby can't walk down the sidewalk next thing they'll tell us is we'll have to let them crawl down it. Geez, how is one supposed to keep up with all these trends? Poor parents who have to constantly feel guilty because they're not doing the right thing.

Laurel

[Cat Herder]

Whatever just happened to raising your children? Why do we need a "program" or a "philosophy?"

I managed to raise three pretty good kids by pretty much just following my instincts.

Because not everyone has instincts. Those traits tend to come from your own parents style (or in spite of them in some cases).

Many kids are "raised" by full-time/life-long childcare, tossed around in foster care until adulthood or simply want to do better than their own parents.

Education, reflection and fresh ideas can never be a bad thing.... happyface

[SilverSabre25]

Education, reflection and fresh ideas can never be a bad thing.... happyface

exactly! well put. I have been learning about RIE for a year or so now and am slowly putting some of it into practice. Just new things that add to my particular blend of "what seems right" for each individual child. They are all different and need different things. what works for one doesn't work for the other.

Also, being flexible as a parent or caregiver is key, i think. You don't need to (and honestly...shouldn't...) follow ANY philosophy 100% without fail. But take the parts that you like and work for you, and create your OWN philosophy through careful education, reflection, and trial? Absolutely!

So I have aspects of AP, RIE, and a bunch of others in my parenting/teaching/caregiving style.

[MyAngels]

Education, reflection and fresh ideas can never be a bad thing.... happyface

I agree that new ideas and education are a good thing. I'll be the first to admit that as a young, 20 year old mother I often turned to books when I faced a problem I was unfamiliar with. I just don't see why they have to have a label. This tends to evolve into a "my philosophy is better than your philosophy" mindset and attitude. It also leads to a lot of guilt and second guessing on the part of parents, but mostly mothers. Did I do it the right way? Have I screwed up my kids for life because I did it for one, but not the other? and on and on.

I'm sure there are some parents out there who don't have an innate instinct when it comes to raising their children, but far more do have that instinct. They've just been told not to trust it.

I know as a mother I've made some mistakes. Everyone does. I just don't kill myself with guilt because I didn't follow some particular "philosophy" or "program" or whatever to a T.

[Blackcat31]

I agree that new ideas and education are a good thing. I'll be the first to admit that as a young, 20 year old mother I often turned to books when I faced a problem I was unfamiliar with. I just don't see why they have to have a label. This tends to evolve into a "my philosophy is better than your philosophy" mindset and attitude. It also leads to a lot of guilt and second guessing on the part of parents, but mostly mothers. Did I do it the right way? Have I screwed up my kids for life because I did it for one, but not the other? and on and on.

I'm sure there are some parents out there who don't have an innate instinct when it comes to raising their children, but far more do have that instinct. They've just been told not to trust it.

I know as a mother I've made some mistakes. Everyone does. I just don't kill myself with guilt because I didn't follow some particular "philosophy" or "program" or whatever to a T.

Totally agree but sometimes those "types" of people (the ones that get sucked in to fads, trends and methods with names) are the same type of people that have trouble in other areas of their lives too.

I too remember being a young mom and not knowing something or feeling unsure about my choices but at the same time I didn't necessarily follow ONE strict method of doing something....I did the bits and pieces of a bunch of different things and lived with only a few goals in mind.... healthy happy kids with a good moral compass. (Oh, and daily survival for me. )

Personally, I think that only certain types of people "need" a name for what they do. Others just do what needs to be done.

Some require a label, a title and specific directions to fit in.

I remember a time when a garbage man was just called a trash guy. Now they are considered "sanitation engineer's"....but yet the job still entails the same tasks. ::

[Heidi]

exactly! well put. I have been learning about RIE for a year or so now and am slowly putting some of it into practice. Just new things that add to my particular blend of "what seems right" for each individual child. They are all different and need different things. what works for one doesn't work for the other.

Also, being flexible as a parent or caregiver is key, i think. You don't need to (and honestly...shouldn't...) follow ANY philosophy 100% without fail. But take the parts that you like and work for you, and create your OWN philosophy through careful education, reflection, and trial? Absolutely!

So I have aspects of AP, RIE, and a bunch of others in my parenting/teaching/caregiving style.

Absolutely on the nose! It should be a blend of meeting the child's needs and meeting the caregivers (parent, dcp, teacher). Most child philosophies tend to weigh heavily to one extreme or the other.

I first learned about RIE 22 years ago, and spent some time with a provider in Madison that actually studied in CA with Magda. I wouldn't count on it "taking off"; Magda died several years ago, so who knows.

Many of the things we consider "best practices" in childcare actually came from her and Emmi Pickler's work. The idea of having child sized furniture is totally based on their work.

Often, things trickle into our society and no one knows where they originated. Dale Carnagie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People" was a major influence on how American Business and Networking is carried out, but few people remember that it came from him.

[Cat Herder]

Personally, I think that only certain types of people "need" a name for what they do. Others just do what needs to be done.

Some require a label, a title and specific directions to fit in.

Exactly.... I have an intrinsic motivator for hoping this catches on. :hug:

I am being walloped with "AP Parenting" as this is a trend that is popular right now.... these infants are being taught they should be held, cuddled, breastfed at will and sleep in a motion/light/sound device for 6 weeks, then are dumped into bare cribs (legally required) in daycare for 50+ hours a week with 5-12 of their angry peers. It is cruel and the kids rage on for months because of it. I am exhausted... we all are if parents read the crying threads here.

I am hopeful that these same parents will read about this "new" trend, relax a bit with the "bonding" and meet us in the middle if they plan to put their kids in childcare.... Really, that is all I ask. ::

[Cat Herder]

Just by reading this I don't completely get it. I'm a not quite sure why a short break in a baby swing is a bad thing. Balance and common sense are a good combo. Next thing they'll tell us is that we shouldn't use a stroller. After all that isn't natural. If a baby can't walk down the sidewalk next thing they'll tell us is we'll have to let them crawl down it. Geez, how is one supposed to keep up with all these trends? Poor parents who have to constantly feel guilty because they're not doing the right thing.

Laurel

IMHO, The point is not that it is bad to use confining equipment, it is to acknowledge the fact that the equipment is for the ADULTS, not the child.

No child needs a break in a swing or stroller. They are happy crawling around and exploring in a safe environment. The point is more about purposefully creating that safe environment instead of confining them from yours...

I hope that makes more sense?

[cheerfuldom]

I really love a lot of RIE principles and it is nothing new to me however, like anything else, I do think people can take basic foundations and go to the extreme with them.

[Jack Sprat]

I really love a lot of RIE principles and it is nothing new to me however, like anything else, I do think people can take basic foundations and go to the extreme with them.

I didn't know it had a name etc. This is just what feels comfortable to us.