Seconds Immediately After Firsts

[Hunni Bee]

I mentioned that my current group is a lot less mature than my old group, even at this same point in the year.

Despite their table manners being horrendous, they eat like little piggies. By the time the last child is served, the first one is yelling for seconds. And they cram it in their mouths so quickly its a wonder they don't choke. They don't ask...they just start yelling "I want some more chicken!"

This has been generally allowed by the other teachers, but I don't go for stuff like that. They are definitely old enough to learn manners and control. I require they raise their hands, wait patiently for seconds, not pack their mouths, and clean up their mess. I'm also trying to have a 10 minute "no seconds" period, sp they can slow down and enjoy their meals. They are so concerned with how much they get I don't even think they taste it.

What are you alls rules for the table?

[Heidi]

I'm not sure how old the kids you're describing are, but I would definitely encourage slowing down. I would not have a 10-minute rule, only that they ask politely and that their plate and mouth are both empty before they ask for more.

Maybe you could slow them down with family style serving (one or two spoons full of each item), napkin use, and such. Or, make them do a "trick" for seconds (a fun one....sort of a game). They could sing the ABC's for you, Count to 10, tell you one thing they did with mom and dad last night, tell you a knock-knock joke, etc. Something to encourage polite, friendly conversation, but not get too wild.

You could also hang up the food pyramid and have them identify one thing on their plate (which group is it in?). Some kind of learning activity?

[Hunni Bee]

I'm not sure how old the kids you're describing are, but I would definitely encourage slowing down. I would not have a 10-minute rule, only that they ask politely and that their plate and mouth are both empty before they ask for more.

Maybe you could slow them down with family style serving (one or two spoons full of each item), napkin use, and such. Or, make them do a "trick" for seconds (a fun one....sort of a game). They could sing the ABC's for you, Count to 10, tell you one thing they did with mom and dad last night, tell you a knock-knock joke, etc. Something to encourage polite, friendly conversation, but not get too wild.

You could also hang up the food pyramid and have them identify one thing on their plate (which group is it in?). Some kind of learning activity?

They are 4 and 5. They do family style for the most part, but they still need help with really messy stuff. I'm worried they'd just gobble it down, sing their ABCs and want more in a span of 3 minutes.

[MsLaura529]

I am struggling with table manners now that my group has gotten a bit larger and I have 2 that do not understand sitting and staying at the table during a meal. I really try to enforce them using their manners and asking for more with pleases and thank yous.

[melilley]

Yes, it's more please! I even show the younger ones the sign for more and please. I have one 2 year old who always says please and one that I have to remind ALL the time. Sounds like you have to show the kids what manners are since the other teachers did not. I'm sure after a while, they'll catch on.

[JoseyJo]

We have pretty strict table rules:

No getting up from the table allowed unless you ask for permission AND get permission. This is for anyone who is big enough not to need a highchair, and they of course can't get up without permission either If you do get up without permission you get one warning, then I "assume" you are done so you are excused to go wash your hands and get a book to read while everyone else is finishing up.

To get seconds you must say Mrs. ____ or Mr. ____ and wait for one of us to answer. Then they ask for seconds or to be excused. "May I have grapes and more carrots please?" or "May I have more of everything?" etc (we have them name the foods they want, and if they don't know we tell them so they can ask for them by name) Then we check to make sure that they have taken at least one bite of each thing on their plate and get them seconds. To get thirds they have to do the same thing, but have to have cleared their plate to get thirds.

Some of our kids finish quickly and ask for seconds quickly. I sit down to eat with them and if they ask before I finish my food I ask them if they have eaten at least a bite of each food then say "sure, I will get you seconds as soon as I am done." I eat pretty quickly, my hubby takes longer to eat so I usually start getting seconds while he finishes, then I start the nap routine while he gets seconds for the others.

To be excused they say our names, wait for a response, then say "May I be excused please?" They have to wait for us to answer before they get up.

It took quite a bit of work to get our group to this point, and lots of reminders, but now when a new child comes in they follow the others and ask nicely too

[Leanna]

We have a rule that no one may eat until everyone is served. I feel that it is only polite to wait and this also cuts down on the first one being finished before the last one is even served.

They must ask specifically for what they want (a few of mine have a tendency to say "more this") and say "please" and "thank you." We also clean up after ourselves and ask to be excused. Also, no one is allowed to leave the table until the majority of people are finished.

[snbauser]

We have pretty strict table rules:


To get seconds you must say Mrs. ____ or Mr. ____ and wait for one of us to answer. Then they ask for seconds or to be excused. "May I have grapes and more carrots please?" or "May I have more of everything?" etc (we have them name the foods they want, and if they don't know we tell them so they can ask for them by name) Then we check to make sure that they have taken at least one bite of each thing on their plate and get them seconds. To get thirds they have to do the same thing, but have to have cleared their plate to get thirds.

Some of our kids finish quickly and ask for seconds quickly. I sit down to eat with them and if they ask before I finish my food I ask them if they have eaten at least a bite of each food then say "sure, I will get you seconds as soon as I am done." I eat pretty quickly, my hubby takes longer to eat so I usually start getting seconds while he finishes, then I start the nap routine while he gets seconds for the others.


It took quite a bit of work to get our group to this point, and lots of reminders, but now when a new child comes in they follow the others and ask nicely too

This is how I work it. And they do not ever get more than 3rds. So no matter how fast they eat, they will never get more than anyone else so it isn't a race. I have one child that is typically done with seconds before anyone else is done with firsts and one that still hasn't finished her first by the time he is done with 3rds.

[snbauser]

And I wanted to add that we do serve family style and all of my kids police their own areas when they are done. They also take their plates and scrape them into the garbage and put their plates, cups, and utensils into our bin that I keep on the table.

It takes a lot of training and reminders in the beginning but with a group of 4 and 5 year olds, it shouldn't take you long.

[Heidi]

Oh, I forgot, but someone else mentioned...

No one eat until everyone eats. Once everyone has their plates, we say "Bon Apetit" and then we start. You could slow things down by doing something similar. Maybe have a "language of the week" to do it with.

Some of my kids last year started a rhyme "Bon apetit', now we can eat". Kind of cute.

[Heidi]

We have pretty strict table rules:

No getting up from the table allowed unless you ask for permission AND get permission. This is for anyone who is big enough not to need a highchair, and they of course can't get up without permission either If you do get up without permission you get one warning, then I "assume" you are done so you are excused to go wash your hands and get a book to read while everyone else is finishing up.

To get seconds you must say Mrs. ____ or Mr. ____ and wait for one of us to answer. Then they ask for seconds or to be excused. "May I have grapes and more carrots please?" or "May I have more of everything?" etc (we have them name the foods they want, and if they don't know we tell them so they can ask for them by name) Then we check to make sure that they have taken at least one bite of each thing on their plate and get them seconds. To get thirds they have to do the same thing, but have to have cleared their plate to get thirds.

Some of our kids finish quickly and ask for seconds quickly. I sit down to eat with them and if they ask before I finish my food I ask them if they have eaten at least a bite of each food then say "sure, I will get you seconds as soon as I am done." I eat pretty quickly, my hubby takes longer to eat so I usually start getting seconds while he finishes, then I start the nap routine while he gets seconds for the others.

To be excused they say our names, wait for a response, then say "May I be excused please?" They have to wait for us to answer before they get up.

It took quite a bit of work to get our group to this point, and lots of reminders, but now when a new child comes in they follow the others and ask nicely too

See, this one is weird to me, because I don't give seconds until a plate is empty. In Germany (I grew up German), that would be considered super rude. An exception would be made if someone really, really, hated the one bite of something on their plate. If dck doesn't like peas, and put 2 peas on their plate and tried one, I'd let that go.

Not picking on you, just noting the difference. I like how you really go old-school with the manners. Too bad they go to school later, where they are taught to sit on their coats and shovel down food as quickly as possible...

[JoseyJo]

We also wait to eat until everyone is ready. Everyone who is able (about 2 and up) get their own drinks and made-up plates (we do not do family style) and take them to the table. When everyone has their food and is sitting the line leader says grace, we all say amen, and then I say "you may eat now". Patience is a virtue

[JoseyJo]

See, this one is weird to me, because I don't give seconds until a plate is empty. In Germany (I grew up German), that would be considered super rude. An exception would be made if someone really, really, hated the one bite of something on their plate. If dck doesn't like peas, and put 2 peas on their plate and tried one, I'd let that go.

Not picking on you, just noting the difference. I like how you really go old-school with the manners. Too bad they go to school later, where they are taught to sit on their coats and shovel down food as quickly as possible...

Thank you on the complement!

Our food program dictates our rule on seconds- We must give seconds on the fruit and vege (actually even if they don't eat any of the protein/grain, but that never happens around here!).

I am not sure if I would make them eat everything anyway before getting seconds anyway since I was a picky eating child (gagging and dry heaving at the texture of eggs, potatoes, ground beef, etc).

[Heidi]

Thank you on the complement!

Our food program dictates our rule on seconds- We must give seconds on the fruit and vege (actually even if they don't eat any of the protein/grain, but that never happens around here!).

I am not sure if I would make them eat everything anyway before getting seconds anyway since I was a picky eating child (gagging and dry heaving at the texture of eggs, potatoes, ground beef, etc).

Yeah, my oldest was very food sensitive, too. I do empathize, and would use the rule more generally, not hard-nosed. I would never push a kid to eat something that would make them gag.

Food is intimate to me (I know, weird choice of word). But, it goes in your body, so it would be extremely weird to me to force someone to eat anything.

[spud912]

We have pretty strict table rules:

No getting up from the table allowed unless you ask for permission AND get permission. This is for anyone who is big enough not to need a highchair, and they of course can't get up without permission either If you do get up without permission you get one warning, then I "assume" you are done so you are excused to go wash your hands and get a book to read while everyone else is finishing up.

To get seconds you must say Mrs. ____ or Mr. ____ and wait for one of us to answer. Then they ask for seconds or to be excused. "May I have grapes and more carrots please?" or "May I have more of everything?" etc (we have them name the foods they want, and if they don't know we tell them so they can ask for them by name) Then we check to make sure that they have taken at least one bite of each thing on their plate and get them seconds. To get thirds they have to do the same thing, but have to have cleared their plate to get thirds.

Some of our kids finish quickly and ask for seconds quickly. I sit down to eat with them and if they ask before I finish my food I ask them if they have eaten at least a bite of each food then say "sure, I will get you seconds as soon as I am done." I eat pretty quickly, my hubby takes longer to eat so I usually start getting seconds while he finishes, then I start the nap routine while he gets seconds for the others.

To be excused they say our names, wait for a response, then say "May I be excused please?" They have to wait for us to answer before they get up.

It took quite a bit of work to get our group to this point, and lots of reminders, but now when a new child comes in they follow the others and ask nicely too

Wow this is exactly how I do it! It irritates me nowadays that children aren't taught proper table manners ("may I please have more _____" or "excuse me please"). I also require them to take a bite of everything for seconds and clear their plate for thirds.