Things Not Getting Better...

[Tdhmom]

Long story short I have 4 year old twins that are VERY much stuck in their ways! They started a few weeks ago. They still don't listen to me. I'll tell them not to jump on the couch, they jump on the couch again. I sit them in time out and they are doing whatever they went to time out for in the first place again! The girl will watch all the toys and literally as soon as someone turns their back on something she swoops in and takes it! If they get off a bike to look at a bug. She's right there to take that bike, even though she already had a bike she was riding. They get in trouble and they just look at me and smirk.
I am at a complete loss what to do. My kids end up going inside (afternoons are for outside until pick up) just to get away, and I wish I was going with them. I've tried the reward and chart system and it isn't working. They'll get excited about getting the sticker but they have to be little achievements, like lunch time is quiet time, or clean up time ( those are the only stickers we get through the day) they have never gotten the please and thank you sticker or the listening sticker because those are all day ones.
Any and all suggestions are appreciated! Thanks in advance

[cara041083]

Have you spoke to the parents? I would sit them down face to face and voice the problems (in my exp, I always write something up that explains the problem, how the 3 of you are going to work on it together, and what the end result will be if there isn't any improvement, and then I put it in the child's file). I do this because I have had a few issues with parents claiming they didn't know there was a problem. Anywho, If it can't be fixed with the parents help then you may have to term. Good luck

[Tdhmom]

I've told her we have some listening issues. The amount of disrespect that they have I can only imagine how they are at home. They came from a big daycare (would explain the stalking of the toys to be snatched up) we live in a small community so I would hate to have to term and they'll be in school full time next year so I'm trying really hard to look past everything but it's so hard and I just want to find a way to make it easier

[cara041083]

I know how you feel. I had a kid that I had for a year and he just kept getting worse and worse and the parents didn't help at all. I finally had to term and I got to tell ya I actually like doing daycare again . I hope you can get it resolved. I know it makes for a long day when you are dealing with that.

[MotherNature]

For the toy snatching, maybe make her your shadow? Or, I read on here once-for toy hoarding someone suggested saying (was it nannyde?) 'Oh thanks, DCG for getting these for your friends' and handing them back out..Apparently it works pretty well for nipping toy hoarding in the bud.

[Bookworm]

I have twin girls now who used to be like that. Before they moved up to my room, they would throw massive tantrums. 15-30 min tantrums. The former teachers did want to deal with them so they were allowed to do anything they wanted. Parents were not happy because they were working really hard to stop the tantrums.

After the move-up date was announced, I asked permission to start transitioning them one at a time in order to get used to my room and work on the tantrums. Parents and Director said yes. First thing I did was to watch and see what her triggers were. After about a week, I noticed that she didn't have the vocabulary to say what was wrong. I also realized that the ore teachers didn't really interact with her and her sister. Mom let me know that the Dr. doesn't see any delays in both girls. So I decided to just talk to her. When she would get upset and start up, I would go to her and ask why are you crying. At first she would mumble some words and whine. So I told her, "Let me know when you're done so we can talk". Then I went back to doing what I was doing. Over the course of a few weeks my wait time for DCG #1 come talk to me got shorter and shorter. The tantrums have just about stopped. I didn't give her an audience and I didn't overreact like the former teachers did. Both girls are doing pretty good. They have their days but I just deal.

From reading your post, I couldn't tell if the parents were backing you up. It's going to be hard if they aren't willing to help stop their behavior. It's doable, but it will be hard. Just stay on DCKs by constantly reminding them of rules and keep following through on punishment. If necessary, put them on probation and put the consequences of their behavior back on the parents. They are going to have to own up to DCKs behavior eventually. Good luck.:hug::hug::hug:

[coolconfidentme]

Can you make the parent take a more responsible role? Maybe tell her after so many timeouts (whatever your threshold number is) You will call her to pick up child. After so many phone calls she will have to look elsewhere for care. (IE: 5 times outs & parent gets a call to pick up. 5 calls, child is terminated) I've done that before when I was at my wits end with a child. The parents seems to get on board with a consistent approach to parenting or they walk. If they don't help, then your better off without them.

[Play Care]

I find 4 to be a challenging age with kids I've had forever. With new kids, I find it's almost impossible.

If you really want to stick it out, I would be on those kids all.the.time. I would not allow them free reign. I would make it so I was within arms length every moment. If I was changing a diaper they were standing next to me handing me the wipes. If I was in the bathroom they were sitting outside the door. If it was playtime I was sitting right with them. I have a pretty rambunctious group so I feel your pain. I think it was Black Cat who linked a couple of YouTube videos on 1. teaching kids to SIT while playing 2. Setting up the environment to discourage running and jumping. I've instituted both with my group and it's helped.

[Willow]

I find 4 to be a challenging age with kids I've had forever. With new kids, I find it's almost impossible.

If you really want to stick it out, I would be on those kids all.the.time. I would not allow them free reign. I would make it so I was within arms length every moment. If I was changing a diaper they were standing next to me handing me the wipes. If I was in the bathroom they were sitting outside the door. If it was playtime I was sitting right with them. I have a pretty rambunctious group so I feel your pain. I think it was Black Cat who linked a couple of YouTube videos on 1. teaching kids to SIT while playing 2. Setting up the environment to discourage running and jumping. I've instituted both with my group and it's helped.

Sounds like in the old group they learned to run amok, and maybe have that same free reign at home. I'd pull their freedom 100% and make them earn it back. I like to use blankets as designated play spaces. Ask them to choose an activity and then have them sit on the floor on their individual blanket while they do it. You can control how close or how far away they play from each other depending on how well they play alone. When they're done they are to ask you if they may go swap for a new toy please. You acknowledge the manners, they put that toy away and get a new one, not already in use by someone else on another blanket, and only in that order. Sort of a structured way to garner some order amongst free play time.

The same swap rule would apply outside. Have them choose an activity, swings, bike, sandbox, and when they're done they have to check in with you to move onto the next.

If you want you can give them each a notebook and have it be their "job" to record their activities. Keep a little crayon or pencil clipped to it and have them draw a little picture before they move on. Not only can you add a checkmark beside each one indicating they used their manners but they can share their log with mom and dad at pick up. You can reward but I'd bet the business of it will be reward enough.

I know it sounds really involved but it's worked to pull the crazy right out of play for newcomers before, and very very quickly.

I wouldn't allow them on the furniture at all until they could show they could sit nicely on the floor without acting up.