Burn Out...Already??

[Unregistered]

I have been licensed for 8 months now, in home daycare (2 bedroom 1000 sq. ft home). I felt like I was doing well or at least okay until summer hit.

I watch: 12 mo (my daughter), 16 mo, 18 mo, 2 1/2 yo, 4 yo, full time. Before and after school I have 2 5 yo (one is my son) and a 9 yo.

My husband recently took a job right before summer in which he works 3pm to 2am Wed-Sat. He thought this would be really helpful to me but honestly, I feel like he is always under foot, he doesn't actually help and the time that he is home, he would like to relax but can't do it freely (all the bedrooms and living room are taken up during nap).

During the summer I had all of them, all day, plus the occasional drop in 2 year old. I thought that once school started, I would start feeling better but still stressed out to the max and it's really wearing on me and the kids. The more stress I feel, the less I do with them, the more antsy they get, the more stressed...vicious cycle.

On top of this, I added the 2nd 5 year old when school started and she is here most days at 5 or 5:30 am, so I am up at 4:30 or 5. On top of that, I have one set of horribly "forgetful" and irresponsible parents who think it's okay to keep their kids here till 6pm almost every single night (I NEVER know when they are getting picked up) while the others all have consistent work schedules or adjust as drop off times adjust. SO, most days I am working between 12 and 13 hours. And honestly, the early time doesn't bother me half as much as the late pick up. Dad even admitted that he takes a shower before picking them up and mom told me this week she was on vacation!!! Still their dcg was here till 6 pm 3 nights this week. Today they kept her home during the morning but may still bring her (and screw up my whole day I'm sure).

The 9 year old gets under my skin like no other child I know. She acts half her age, bosses everyone around, WHINEs almost constantly and talks back EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I ask or tell her to do something. All summer she sat on one side of my couch, hoarding toddler toys and making others do her bidding (or constantly asked to play video games or watch TV). And now that she's at school, the 4 yo acts JUST like her (same spot even)! On top of being the most contradictory child I know (Actual conversation: My son: "I love ice cream!" Her, "I don't." Me: "Oh, so you don't want any for our treat day?" "Well, I don't like vaniiiiilla ice cream."). And last but not least, the 16 month old whines almost constantly. He stands at my baby gate (while I'm cooking/cleaning) and fusses continually. He throws a tantrum if you walk into the room and then out again. He wants to be held or carried or touch you constantly, so even if I sit down in the room, he MUST sit/lay/stand on me in SOME way (and it HURTS sometimes).

Loooooong story short, now that school has started, STILL struggling. My once 2-naps a day babies are now 1-nap toddlers who hit, fight, and steal nearly constantly. The one who whines constantly is ALWAYs attempting to pry back my gate (in front of TV) or standing up on my end table or climbing my changing table. I have a vacation in 4 weeks but I don't know if it's going to HELP!!!! Especially when I get almost NO adult time, NO kid free time, NO breaks. I hate to call my mom every week for a babysitter--I have to use her enough as it is. My husband is off Mon/Tue/Wed, but doesn't like watching the kids for me in the slightest (Men!).

[Cat Herder]

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I do have a lot of great info on Provider Burnout to share, though.... Know you are not alone. :hug:

PROVIDER BURNOUT

In a study conducted at the University of Maryland, by Susan Walker, PhD, in-home family daycare providers were proven to be particularly prone to personal stress. The factors that they stated contributed to this were: long hours (average of 60 hours a week), low pay (an average of $15,000 a year), and the low value of their job to the public despite the huge need for care. All of these factors deem daycare providers at high risk for burnout.

There are three stages of burnout:

1. Stress Arousal Stage Persistent irritability and anxiety
Bruxism and/or Insomnia
Occasional forgetfulness and/or inability to concentrate
2. Stress Resistance Stage Absenteeism or tardiness for work
Tired and fatigued for no reason
Procrastination and indecision
Social withdrawal with cynicism
Resentful, indifferent, defiant
Increased use of coffee, alcohol, tobacco, etc.
3. Severe Exhaustion Stage Chronic sadness or depression
Chronic mental and physical fatigue
Chronic stress related illnesses (headache, stomach ache, bowel problems, etc.)

So how do you know if you or a loved one is suffering from burnout?
Here are the early warning signs.

Chronic fatigue - exhaustion, tiredness, a sense of being physically run down
Anger at those making demands
Self-criticism for putting up with the demands
Cynicism, negativity, and irritability
A sense of being besieged
Exploding easily at seemingly inconsequential things
Frequent headaches and gastrointestinal disturbance
Weight loss or gain
Sleeplessness and depression
Shortness of breath
Suspiciousness
Feelings of helplessness
Increased degree of risk taking
Isolation, withdrawal, self-destructive thoughts

What do you do if you are suffering from burnout?

Take a break!!! Get a massage, meditate, hide, stare at a wall...get away!
Ask for love ones to lighten the load and help with your responsibilities.
Simplify your life. What can you take out?
Relax and nurture yourself.
Seek professional help if it gets severe.
Reduce your stress!!!

STRESS
Know thy enemy...

Studies has proven that in-home daycare providers are more prone to stress than the average bear.
Yet there are little or no resources to daycare providers for reducing and managing stress.
Why is this? We can only suppose that everyone is too stressed out to do anything about it!

In a study of providers in Maryland:
37% of providers rated themselves as experiencing very high
or somewhat high levels of stress in the past month
54.5% had effects on health behaviors
51.7% enjoy their job less than typical population
35% report feeling bad physically
33.6% experienced strong moods

WHAT IS STRESS?

Stress is the excitement, feeling of anxiety and/or physical tension that occurs when
demands placed on an individual exceed his or her ability to cope.

We need stress in many ways. It helps us to survive, it is our fight or flight response.
It helps us to cross the street, move out of the way when something is thrown at us, be frightened
when somebody yells “boo”. We want to stay out of the way of danger so our body physically
responds to surprises so we don’t kill ourselves and we fear things.

Stress response: When challenged, the body undergoes a progressive series of responses that are first triggered by an external stimulus termed the stressor. The more prolonged and accelerating reactions produce an intense and severe disruption called strain. All of this moves the body away from homeostasis, the maintenance of equilibrium of the internal body functions in response to external changes.

WHAT CAUSES STRESS?

Psychological causes
Life changes--events, circumstances or perceptions
Overload--too much to do, not enough time to do it
Insufficient resources--not enough money or time
Frustration--lack of happiness or fulfillment
Trauma or loss--death of a close friend or relative

External causes
Occupation
Environmental strain (noise, temperature, etc.)
Substance abuse (alcohol/drugs)
Nutritional excesses (caffeine, sugar)
Nutritional deficiencies (vitamins or nutrients)

Personality causes
Self-perception
Anxious reactivity, hypervigilance, worry
Need for control,
Time urgency
Anger or hostility

Major sources of stress in daycare include:

conflicts with parents
role conflict
not being able to balance work and family
fairness in housework
feeling overloaded
not having enough time for family activities
not enough time with family
not enough money
conflict with their own family
not having enough children in their daycare

Other things that effect our stress:

Poor resource management: Time and money are precious and limited resources. Wasting either of these creates serious tension and stress. Unwillingness to delegate or let go of control also increases stress.

Personal relationships: Romance and love are exciting eustress experiences while conflict, jealousy and resentment are common distresses when a relationship breaks down.

Self-perception: Low self-esteem and self-confidence together with the absence of feeling connected or empowered, can all precipitate stress reactions. Taken to excess (self-confidence) these can lead to egoism and cockiness which will cause different stress reactions.

Beliefs and attitudes: Family scripts like "A penny saved is a penny earned," "A job worth doing is worth doing well" can cause undue stress and force the person to live up to an unrealistic image.

WHAT ARE POSSIBLE EFFECTS OF STRESS ON THE BODY?

muscle tightness and tension
decreased immunity, increased sickness
aches/pains in back and neck
fatigue and lack of energy
headaches, migraines
digestive problems
depression and/or anxiety
decreased ability of movement
accelerated aging
These can lead to: high blood pressure; restricted movement;
ulcers; heart attack; cancer; stroke; etc.

WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT OUR STRESS?

Simplify your life
Avoid over-commitment and over-responsibility
Learn how to say "NO".
Delegate your duties, have others help you.
Eat right, exercise, get enough sleep
Relax and breathe
Take some time for you everyday

REDUCING STRESS

"It's not what happens to you in life that matters,
it's how you react to what happens to you that counts."

4 areas that you can reduce stress in your daycare business:

1. Daycare environment-
How is your daycare set up? Is it cluttered? Are toys and activities easily accessible? Is it bright and cheery or dark and dreary? What colors are the basic colors of the room? Does the area provide space to relax or is it constantly high energy? Did you know that you can use color and scents to induce different moods and tones in your house?

2. Business Practices-
Do your parents drive you crazy? Do they know what is expected of them? Do you have policies in place? Do you act like a professional? Did you know that you can train your parents how to treat you and your business? How do you find the balance between giving the parents what they want and keeping your sanity? Do you run your daycare like a business or like a babysitting service? Do you have preschool programs? What can you do to enhance your services to the family that you can have fun with?

3. Children-
Do the children know what is expected of them? Are you consistent with discipline or is it something you have to continue to revisit? Do children have a balance of relaxing and stimulating activities? Is there enough transition time between activities? Is there enough variety of toys and activities for each child's interests? Do you have engaging activities such as music, exercise or stretching, yoga, dancing, that keeps the children interested and allow them to use fine and gross motor control?

4. Your self-
Do you take enough time for you? (HA!--we all say) Do you think you DESERVE time for yourself? Do you know how to nurture your body, mind, and spirit? Do you exercise some everyday besides lifting kids on and off the diaper changing table? Do you have a hobby that you have been dying to take up? Is your attitude positive? Can you learn how to make some time for yourself everyday? Are you too serious or do you laugh things off easily? Do you over-commit yourself? Do you ask others for help? Do you take time off?

[Play Care]

:hug::hug:

When my own kids were little and I was doing child care it was so, so hard. I felt like I worked 24/7 because I was also nursing my youngest child and still up at night. And that's with having strict open/close times and enforcing policy!

It got much easier as my own kids got older/ more independent though I wish I had stressed less and enjoyed the time more because it did go by so fast

If possible, start taking control over your hours. Open later and close earlier, and term anyone who doesn't comply with policy (rather then increase your stress terming those who disrespect policy can eliminate it) pick a couple of things,to do with the kids and do them - it could just be reading a story or taking them for a walk. I know when I set goals - even small ones - it makes me feel better about my day. Get some YOU time. I know your husband works nights, but make plans for you when he's off. I like to head to the library and read their magazines in the quiet adult section, a friend of mine does Zumba, etc. you,said he switched hours to help? Here honey, take our kids for a couple of hours while I go out - that will help!!::
Good luck!!

[NeedaVaca]

If this were me the 1st thing I would do is get rid of the before/after school kids. One of them is way too early, the other 9 year old is causing you too much stress. 2nd I would have a very direct talk with the DCF that is picking up late-unacceptable and make it clear to them that they must be on time or if possible change your close time to 5:30.

[Shell]

If this were me the 1st thing I would do is get rid of the before/after school kids. One of them is way too early, the other 9 year old is causing you too much stress. 2nd I would have a very direct talk with the DCF that is picking up late-unacceptable and make it clear to them that they must be on time or if possible change your close time to 5:30.

My suggestion would be this, also. I would look at which kids are causing you the most stress due to their schedules and/or behaviors, and let go of at least one of them. I had to do this a year ago for various reasons, and it really does help to cut back. It's tough taking care of so many children-some are close in age, and some are pretty far apart. Figure out which age group interests you the most, and go online and look up activities for that age group. There's lots of easy stuff out there that will keep the kids engaged and happy- and when they are busy and having fun, that will cut down on your stress.

[daycarediva]

You are over worked, plain and simple.

Time to find your backbone and put your foot down or find another career.

Do you have contracted hours? I do a MAX of 10 hours/day and work at MOST 10.5-11 hour days. I DO NOT allow parents to leave their children with me for 12 hours a day.

TRUST ME, start enforcing late fees if you have them in your contract. If you don't, add them, THEN enforce them. Several members have a 3 strike rule with late pick ups as well.

Term who you can/who is most high maintenance or start working with families to find a solution. Does disrespectful 9yo have parents who would back you up if you started disciplining her for the back talk? I would absolutely correct a child that age who SHOULD know better than to speak to me that way, put her in TO EVERY SINGLE TIME and give her the words to say things properly. "I want it now!" "I hear that you would like snack. Next time you may say 'May I please have snack Miss. _____'. When you can ask nicely, you may have snack." Rude again? TO.

Also, you have a LOT of littles. I would cut back and replace at least ONE with an older preschooler. 3 under 2 would be enough to burn me out right there.

[msblake]

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I do have a lot of great info on Provider Burnout to share, though.... Know you are not alone. :hug:

PROVIDER BURNOUT

In a study conducted at the University of Maryland, by Susan Walker, PhD, in-home family daycare providers were proven to be particularly prone to personal stress. The factors that they stated contributed to this were: long hours (average of 60 hours a week), low pay (an average of $15,000 a year), and the low value of their job to the public despite the huge need for care. All of these factors deem daycare providers at high risk for burnout.

There are three stages of burnout:

1. Stress Arousal Stage Persistent irritability and anxiety
Bruxism and/or Insomnia
Occasional forgetfulness and/or inability to concentrate
2. Stress Resistance Stage Absenteeism or tardiness for work
Tired and fatigued for no reason
Procrastination and indecision
Social withdrawal with cynicism
Resentful, indifferent, defiant
Increased use of coffee, alcohol, tobacco, etc.
3. Severe Exhaustion Stage Chronic sadness or depression
Chronic mental and physical fatigue
Chronic stress related illnesses (headache, stomach ache, bowel problems, etc.)

So how do you know if you or a loved one is suffering from burnout?
Here are the early warning signs.

Chronic fatigue - exhaustion, tiredness, a sense of being physically run down
Anger at those making demands
Self-criticism for putting up with the demands
Cynicism, negativity, and irritability
A sense of being besieged
Exploding easily at seemingly inconsequential things
Frequent headaches and gastrointestinal disturbance
Weight loss or gain
Sleeplessness and depression
Shortness of breath
Suspiciousness
Feelings of helplessness
Increased degree of risk taking
Isolation, withdrawal, self-destructive thoughts

What do you do if you are suffering from burnout?

Take a break!!! Get a massage, meditate, hide, stare at a wall...get away!
Ask for love ones to lighten the load and help with your responsibilities.
Simplify your life. What can you take out?
Relax and nurture yourself.
Seek professional help if it gets severe.
Reduce your stress!!!

STRESS
Know thy enemy...

Studies has proven that in-home daycare providers are more prone to stress than the average bear.
Yet there are little or no resources to daycare providers for reducing and managing stress.
Why is this? We can only suppose that everyone is too stressed out to do anything about it!

In a study of providers in Maryland:
37% of providers rated themselves as experiencing very high
or somewhat high levels of stress in the past month
54.5% had effects on health behaviors
51.7% enjoy their job less than typical population
35% report feeling bad physically
33.6% experienced strong moods

WHAT IS STRESS?

Stress is the excitement, feeling of anxiety and/or physical tension that occurs when
demands placed on an individual exceed his or her ability to cope.

We need stress in many ways. It helps us to survive, it is our fight or flight response.
It helps us to cross the street, move out of the way when something is thrown at us, be frightened
when somebody yells “boo”. We want to stay out of the way of danger so our body physically
responds to surprises so we don’t kill ourselves and we fear things.

Stress response: When challenged, the body undergoes a progressive series of responses that are first triggered by an external stimulus termed the stressor. The more prolonged and accelerating reactions produce an intense and severe disruption called strain. All of this moves the body away from homeostasis, the maintenance of equilibrium of the internal body functions in response to external changes.

WHAT CAUSES STRESS?

Psychological causes
Life changes--events, circumstances or perceptions
Overload--too much to do, not enough time to do it
Insufficient resources--not enough money or time
Frustration--lack of happiness or fulfillment
Trauma or loss--death of a close friend or relative

External causes
Occupation
Environmental strain (noise, temperature, etc.)
Substance abuse (alcohol/drugs)
Nutritional excesses (caffeine, sugar)
Nutritional deficiencies (vitamins or nutrients)

Personality causes
Self-perception
Anxious reactivity, hypervigilance, worry
Need for control,
Time urgency
Anger or hostility

Major sources of stress in daycare include:

conflicts with parents
role conflict
not being able to balance work and family
fairness in housework
feeling overloaded
not having enough time for family activities
not enough time with family
not enough money
conflict with their own family
not having enough children in their daycare

Other things that effect our stress:

Poor resource management: Time and money are precious and limited resources. Wasting either of these creates serious tension and stress. Unwillingness to delegate or let go of control also increases stress.

Personal relationships: Romance and love are exciting eustress experiences while conflict, jealousy and resentment are common distresses when a relationship breaks down.

Self-perception: Low self-esteem and self-confidence together with the absence of feeling connected or empowered, can all precipitate stress reactions. Taken to excess (self-confidence) these can lead to egoism and cockiness which will cause different stress reactions.

Beliefs and attitudes: Family scripts like "A penny saved is a penny earned," "A job worth doing is worth doing well" can cause undue stress and force the person to live up to an unrealistic image.

WHAT ARE POSSIBLE EFFECTS OF STRESS ON THE BODY?

muscle tightness and tension
decreased immunity, increased sickness
aches/pains in back and neck
fatigue and lack of energy
headaches, migraines
digestive problems
depression and/or anxiety
decreased ability of movement
accelerated aging
These can lead to: high blood pressure; restricted movement;
ulcers; heart attack; cancer; stroke; etc.

WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT OUR STRESS?

Simplify your life
Avoid over-commitment and over-responsibility
Learn how to say "NO".
Delegate your duties, have others help you.
Eat right, exercise, get enough sleep
Relax and breathe
Take some time for you everyday

REDUCING STRESS

"It's not what happens to you in life that matters,
it's how you react to what happens to you that counts."

4 areas that you can reduce stress in your daycare business:

1. Daycare environment-
How is your daycare set up? Is it cluttered? Are toys and activities easily accessible? Is it bright and cheery or dark and dreary? What colors are the basic colors of the room? Does the area provide space to relax or is it constantly high energy? Did you know that you can use color and scents to induce different moods and tones in your house?

2. Business Practices-
Do your parents drive you crazy? Do they know what is expected of them? Do you have policies in place? Do you act like a professional? Did you know that you can train your parents how to treat you and your business? How do you find the balance between giving the parents what they want and keeping your sanity? Do you run your daycare like a business or like a babysitting service? Do you have preschool programs? What can you do to enhance your services to the family that you can have fun with?

3. Children-
Do the children know what is expected of them? Are you consistent with discipline or is it something you have to continue to revisit? Do children have a balance of relaxing and stimulating activities? Is there enough transition time between activities? Is there enough variety of toys and activities for each child's interests? Do you have engaging activities such as music, exercise or stretching, yoga, dancing, that keeps the children interested and allow them to use fine and gross motor control?

4. Your self-
Do you take enough time for you? (HA!--we all say) Do you think you DESERVE time for yourself? Do you know how to nurture your body, mind, and spirit? Do you exercise some everyday besides lifting kids on and off the diaper changing table? Do you have a hobby that you have been dying to take up? Is your attitude positive? Can you learn how to make some time for yourself everyday? Are you too serious or do you laugh things off easily? Do you over-commit yourself? Do you ask others for help? Do you take time off?

LOVE YOUR POST!

I completely understand!!! I went through burn out last year. I was about to quit! I got rid of my stressors. Which at the time was a very difficult child and a difficult father. That really helped! Then I switched up our schedule so I didn't feel like it was the same thing over and over again day after day. Looked up some fun activities to do with children. I hired a babysitter and my husband and I went on a mini vacation for 2 days. Yes it was pricey but it was totally worth every penny! We are here for you!

[Maria2013]

I feel for you :hug:

If I were you I would definitely slow down and take a serious look at the situation....if you don't have a set pick up time in your contract I would start by adding that, and if you do have it you need to enforce it....

Set and enforce rules that promote structure and control children's behavior,

remember: you are the boss, you are running the show... only you can correct whatever is not working for you

big hug:hug:

[Tdhmom]

You are definitely not alone!! I only accept potty trained and up. Accidents on my BRAND NEW CARPET was a HUGE stressor for me!! My preferred age group is 2 1/2-3 yo. They are the perfect age IMO. They are very eager to learn and even simple experiments (vinegar and baking soda with glitter) makes theirs eyes light up...I love it! I decided to accept 2-4yo (I have my own 4 yo that has afternoon preschool with them so we all walk together...thought it was a great fit) it's not! They are set in their ways and question EVERYTHING I tell them to do. WILL NOT LISTEN AT ALL!! It makes for a super super long day when they are here. And now they have my little ones 2 1/2 talking like them :-/ I have a sassy pants today telling me "NO" all morning! I don't think so! Nap time couldn't come soon enough.
I also don't give my husband an option. I signed up to play slow pitch softball one night a week. I am gone from the moment I get off work until dark. He knows this every week and knows he needs to be home (self employed and works all the time! Felt guilty but my sanity needs that night every week).
Good luck and many many hugs to you!

[WImom]

If this were me the 1st thing I would do is get rid of the before/after school kids. One of them is way too early, the other 9 year old is causing you too much stress. 2nd I would have a very direct talk with the DCF that is picking up late-unacceptable and make it clear to them that they must be on time or if possible change your close time to 5:30.

THIS!! Sorry you are feeling this way! I have from time to time too! Besides the above, one thing that helps me is rearranging my daycare space. It helps me feel refreshed!

[My3cents]

I have been licensed for 8 months now, in home daycare (2 bedroom 1000 sq. ft home). I felt like I was doing well or at least okay until summer hit.

I watch: 12 mo (my daughter), 16 mo, 18 mo, 2 1/2 yo, 4 yo, full time. Before and after school I have 2 5 yo (one is my son) and a 9 yo.

My husband recently took a job right before summer in which he works 3pm to 2am Wed-Sat. He thought this would be really helpful to me but honestly, I feel like he is always under foot, he doesn't actually help and the time that he is home, he would like to relax but can't do it freely (all the bedrooms and living room are taken up during nap).

During the summer I had all of them, all day, plus the occasional drop in 2 year old. I thought that once school started, I would start feeling better but still stressed out to the max and it's really wearing on me and the kids. The more stress I feel, the less I do with them, the more antsy they get, the more stressed...vicious cycle.

On top of this, I added the 2nd 5 year old when school started and she is here most days at 5 or 5:30 am, so I am up at 4:30 or 5. On top of that, I have one set of horribly "forgetful" and irresponsible parents who think it's okay to keep their kids here till 6pm almost every single night (I NEVER know when they are getting picked up) while the others all have consistent work schedules or adjust as drop off times adjust. SO, most days I am working between 12 and 13 hours. And honestly, the early time doesn't bother me half as much as the late pick up. Dad even admitted that he takes a shower before picking them up and mom told me this week she was on vacation!!! Still their dcg was here till 6 pm 3 nights this week. Today they kept her home during the morning but may still bring her (and screw up my whole day I'm sure).

The 9 year old gets under my skin like no other child I know. She acts half her age, bosses everyone around, WHINEs almost constantly and talks back EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I ask or tell her to do something. All summer she sat on one side of my couch, hoarding toddler toys and making others do her bidding (or constantly asked to play video games or watch TV). And now that she's at school, the 4 yo acts JUST like her (same spot even)! On top of being the most contradictory child I know (Actual conversation: My son: "I love ice cream!" Her, "I don't." Me: "Oh, so you don't want any for our treat day?" "Well, I don't like vaniiiiilla ice cream."). And last but not least, the 16 month old whines almost constantly. He stands at my baby gate (while I'm cooking/cleaning) and fusses continually. He throws a tantrum if you walk into the room and then out again. He wants to be held or carried or touch you constantly, so even if I sit down in the room, he MUST sit/lay/stand on me in SOME way (and it HURTS sometimes).

Loooooong story short, now that school has started, STILL struggling. My once 2-naps a day babies are now 1-nap toddlers who hit, fight, and steal nearly constantly. The one who whines constantly is ALWAYs attempting to pry back my gate (in front of TV) or standing up on my end table or climbing my changing table. I have a vacation in 4 weeks but I don't know if it's going to HELP!!!! Especially when I get almost NO adult time, NO kid free time, NO breaks. I hate to call my mom every week for a babysitter--I have to use her enough as it is. My husband is off Mon/Tue/Wed, but doesn't like watching the kids for me in the slightest (Men!).

here is your issue........ not an option. They are your kids too! Your home, you help or go work. I don't have that issue with my hubby. He helps me, when he is home or helps out our home. I know I am in the minority here- I give as much as he does so I expect as much. Non negotiable. I/we don't have the women's work or men's work mentality either. We both help out-

[My3cents]

I would cut your hours down too and make sure your doing something for yourself every week. Get the family to help you out and be ready to take the help they give. Look for ways to cut your stress level so you can find your love for your job again or if not look for another job and journey down that path-

[Unregistered]

A little more explanation

So, here's where I'm torn a bit. I actually started daycare in October last year, before I could get my license in order because it took MUCH longer than I thought and the inspector for our county is a strict, rude woman (ironic considering how small and poor our county is and how few daycares there are) so I was afraid to submit it all without it ALL being ready. And then it backfired--someone informed on me! I got caught. So for 2 months while they fumbled around my paperwork (I would say intentionally, and I would be right), I got licensed. I made a mistake, I quickly fixed it. I even had to pay the diversion to avoid going to court because she turned it right over to the county attorney (which apparently, is not what happens in other counties!).

So all the people I was watching found alternates, then came back. They wanted me to watch their children that much.

The 9 year old and 2 year old belong to the same family that is the late pick up and are typically late AT LEAST once a month and pay me at least a day late. They are also very forgetful and don't tell me when step-dad or grandma is picking up or if they're picking up early or whatever. The thing is she is a general manager (who makes the schedule) and he runs his own business (and makes his own schedule) so I can't fathom why they can't be here on time. However, I (stupidly) feel a loyalty because they were so gung-ho about having me and waited for me to re-open. They wouldn't even take their kids to someone else. They're not here the full 12 hours but with school going, the 2 yo has been here from 10 to 11 hours daily. AND I just found out an hour ago that their last check to me bounced. Gaaaaah.

I do have some things in my contract about lateness but have been lax from the beginning because I thought they'd at least tell me when they were going to be late or I stupidly assumed they wouldn't walk all over me.

I don't have contracted hours but that I something I will consider from here forward. Now that I've crashed my way through my first year, I was considering re-doing and RE-enforcing my contract with iron clad: closing time (which I will be moving up to 5:30pm now), and immediate late fees on late pick ups and late payments.

I live in a small town and need the income so I am a little nervous about dropping people. Which makes this even more difficult. I have been asked by others but no one has followed through or is full time. I think I might have an infant in January but I'm not sure adding a new baby would help (it would be within regs but still!!)!

Thank you everyone! I think I will sort through each answer and make a list. My other 2 parents are great! Their payments are never late (even pay early sometimes!), if they need 15 or 30 more minutes, they ask me, and they pick up their kids early sometimes. They actually communicate.

[Play Care]

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here is your issue........ not an option. They are your kids too! Your home, you help or go work. I don't have that issue with my hubby. He helps me, when he is home or helps out our home. I know I am in the minority here- I give as much as he does so I expect as much. Non negotiable. I/we don't have the women's work or men's work mentality either. We both help out-

I read this as he won't watch the day care kids - and honestly, that's not his job. He should however, be caring for his own children.

[cheerfuldom]

I would suggest writing up a new contract and be frank with the troublesome family about the new changes. You are happy to keep them at the daycare if they can abide by your new policies or they are welcome to provide a notice of termination and find new care. Let them term themselves if need be.

I have a 9 hour a day max. There is no way in H*E*L*L that I would do 11 and 12 hour days. NEVER.

the solutions are right there for you in this thread so all you have to do it implement.