18 Month Old Cries Constantly - Cannot Be Comforted. HELP!

[Unregistered]

I am the assistant director of a home daycare. I have been working here for five years and have had experiences with wonderful, happy children who are easy to work with and moody, hyperactive children who are difficult to work with. Three weeks ago we enrolled a new child who is 18 months old and comes to daycare one day a week. I have come to dread that day.

This child cries as soon as he sees the daycare and DOES NOT STOP. Trying to hold/comfort him makes him scream louder and he will hit and kick anything he can reach. He won't eat or drink anything, play with any toy, watch a movie, look at a book, or play outside and he is not distracted by the turtles or rabbit we keep as class pets. Ignoring his crying also has no effect. He cries until he falls asleep, which sometimes takes hours because he is not always tired - only miserable.

We asked his parents if they knew of anything he likes that could help us to calm him down. Both of them told us, "He likes to play." I feel like I have tried absolutely everything. If anyone can help me out here with some ideas, I would be really appreciative.

[lovemylife]

Is it his first daycare? If not how was he at the previous daycare?

[Willow]

I took a drop in family member of one of my families once and he too screamed the entire week and a half he was here. From the day he arrived until the time he left. He didn't eat, didn't play, hardly napped, and otherwise just screamed non stop.

Mom told me he was completely fine at home. Mom of my enrolled family however said he had been cared for by grandma since birth and was literally NEVER put down. Was fed while bring held, slept while being held, always played IN grandma's lap....his whole world revolved around grandma's lap.

That one child almost drove me to give up daycare. It was THAT bad.


My advice would be to pry like the dickens to get to the bottom of why he's really like that, and then set a solid timeline with the parents that if things don't improve by such and such a time you're going to have to term.

A child like can easily destroy your patience, desire to provide care and effect your group in some pretty significant ways.

[cheerfuldom]

I would require he be at daycare more or they find new care. He is not transitioning well with one day a week. Its like he is being dropped off for the first time every single week. He is not there enough to have consistency and adjustment, you are just in survival mode every week. If it was that bad, I would require a three day per week commitment so you can see if this is will be remedied by truly adjusting to daycare instead of being dropped off at random, which is unsettling for most kids and certainly scary for those that have never been away from home.

[Cat Herder]

Toddler.... One day a week.... 6 days for him to build up anxiety drama and become accustomed to another routine before he comes back...

Um, no thanks.

[Unregistered]

Is it his first daycare? If not how was he at the previous daycare?

It is his first daycare, grandpa watches him the other four days of the week.

[Heidi]

Toddler.... One day a week.... 6 days for him to build up anxiety drama and become accustomed to another routine before he comes back...

Um, no thanks.

I would never, ever, take a toddler one day a week! How on earth will he ever adjust? You are a stranger to him each time.

[Cradle2crayons]

It is his first daycare, grandpa watches him the other four days of the week.

That there is the answer to YIUR question.

In that situation, I'd give them x amount of time and insist he come 3 days a week minimum and at the end of x time, I'd term if ere was no improvement.

[Jack Sprat]

Same thing here! He did do better today. But, still had two hours of straight crying.

In your case I agree he needs to come more often. One day is just enough to throw him out of whack and never get into a routine.

[blandino]

My first thought was, IME, that kind of screaming tends to happen while an 18m
Old is adjusting to a new daycare.

Then, when I found out he was only in attendance one day a week, It makes total sense.

However, I don't think he is going to adjust by coming one day a week. He has no time to get used to being there, when he comes for a day and is gone for 6.

[TwinKristi]

I had an 18 month old in DC only 2 days a week and he cried for weeks. Any time someone walked in the door he cried, any transition he cried, drop off & pick up he cried. It was a tough couple wks! He got better with time and eventually came 4-5 days a week and is back to 3 days a week. Any less than that, even for the 2 day a week 3.5yr old I've watched for 18mos, it seems to be a hard adjustment. It takes some time to adjust, up to 4wks!