I am a new member here, but logged out for this.
Let me start by saying, I LOVE my sister. We are very close, but she has some issues (like most of us do). A few of her's are: lack of communication & poor money management (that my dad bails her out of ALL THE TIME). Matter of fact, he has control of her checkbook right now. A grown, married woman with 3 kids.
I know taking on family is not wise, but I did it. I took on my sister's youngest child in April. I had her read the handbook & sign the contract. I cut her a discount & told her I would enforce all late payment fees, late pick up, early drop off, etc. She was fine with it.
When we did the contract, she made it out for 7:30A to 2:45P. She would drop off, her husband would pick up. The night before they were due to start she tells me DH has to work OT all week & will not be able to pick up until 445. She wants to know what my OT fees are. I tell her. GUILT TRIP.....
"UGH! All of his OT pay is going to go to your OT fees!"
I am upset about the guilt trip, but decide that IF she would have been thinking she would have made the contract 7:30A-4:45P (her work hours w/drive time). I tell her my thoughts at morning drop-off & let her know I would be changing the pickup time accordingly so that they would not have to pay the OT fee IF they picked up by 445P. Her reply:
"Great! I was going to suggest it, but didn't want you getting all huffy." Really? You couldn't just say thanks??!
So, DH picks up at 2:35 on the dot (OR 4:35 if on OT) each day. Some days she decides to pickup and is generally late 4:47, 4:48. She says it's b/c she gets stuck on a call & can't get away. AND I totally understand that & I know it's ONLY 3 minutes, but......I make other clients pay for that time. AND her DH COULD be picking up to avoid it.
I haven't charged OT to her yet.
I have had 2 occasions with "bad check". First time she said that her CIPS would be shut off if she didn't pay & needed to "bounce my check". How mad would I be? Of course I said I would be HOT. So, she didn't do it. Second time was about a month ago (right before my dad took over all her finances) She calls to tell me her bank informed her my check did not clear. She did pay me the PART of the fee I have listed in my contract, but I was still mad. I told her she had to pay with cash from now on & she said, NO!
I am stupid (& my dad sided with her saying there was no need now that he was "in charge").
Last week she texts me 15mins before DH is supposed to be here picking up. She informs me she will be picking up. DH is on OT. When she picks up she says she knew about it the eve before, but "forgot" to let me know.
And then a day later she texts to say she has to go in early that Friday, charge her accordingly. I text her back with a reminder of what OT fees are & ask her how early she will be dropping off. She was not happy about paying the extra. I guess she assumed I wouldn't charge her.
Monday her DH picks up & tells me that he will "more than likely be early Wednesday." He is going to a funeral & doesn't know when it will be done, but should be before his normal 2:30P pick-up. I STUPIDLY say, don't worry, take your time.
That eve her DH calls my DH to ask him to check over their vehicle. When her DH comes I thank him for the GREAT communication. He says, sure! And then says, "that (my sister) will be picking up Tues b/c he wanted to go to the visitation. He was going to go home, shower, & be ready." Me, NOT A PROBLEM. Thanks for letting me know!
Tuesday comes & goes. Wednesday, I await early pickup. STUPID. By 330 I assume my sister is coming instead. And yes, she did. She walked in at 4:48P.
I inform her she is late. She argues that she is not & that my clocks are wrong.
I'm now a bit put off. I show her that my cell phone shows the same time as my house clocks. OK, maybe that is where *I* crossed the line, bringing about this.........
Then tack it on my F*****G bill.
WHAT??!!!
So hurt. I said, really? Insert sister name.
Her: Yeah really!!
I then asked if this is how she would treat another provider?
She says: OH GOD!! Here we go!!
I just look at her, feeling totally defeated & say, it really hurts to know you have so little respect for me.
I walk away & let her finish getting her child ready & they go.
This morning's drop-off was tense. She paid me, which is something she hasn't been doing until Friday. And made it out for the extra $3.
I don't know if that's an I'm sorry. BUT as well as I know my sister, I feel more like it was a "here's your $3, I hope it was worth it."
I seriously don't even know what to say.
IF you got this far, thanks for reading & for letting me vent.
Let me start by saying, I LOVE my sister. We are very close, but she has some issues (like most of us do). A few of her's are: lack of communication & poor money management (that my dad bails her out of ALL THE TIME). Matter of fact, he has control of her checkbook right now. A grown, married woman with 3 kids.
I know taking on family is not wise, but I did it. I took on my sister's youngest child in April. I had her read the handbook & sign the contract. I cut her a discount & told her I would enforce all late payment fees, late pick up, early drop off, etc. She was fine with it.
When we did the contract, she made it out for 7:30A to 2:45P. She would drop off, her husband would pick up. The night before they were due to start she tells me DH has to work OT all week & will not be able to pick up until 445. She wants to know what my OT fees are. I tell her. GUILT TRIP.....
"UGH! All of his OT pay is going to go to your OT fees!"
I am upset about the guilt trip, but decide that IF she would have been thinking she would have made the contract 7:30A-4:45P (her work hours w/drive time). I tell her my thoughts at morning drop-off & let her know I would be changing the pickup time accordingly so that they would not have to pay the OT fee IF they picked up by 445P. Her reply:
"Great! I was going to suggest it, but didn't want you getting all huffy." Really? You couldn't just say thanks??!
So, DH picks up at 2:35 on the dot (OR 4:35 if on OT) each day. Some days she decides to pickup and is generally late 4:47, 4:48. She says it's b/c she gets stuck on a call & can't get away. AND I totally understand that & I know it's ONLY 3 minutes, but......I make other clients pay for that time. AND her DH COULD be picking up to avoid it.
I haven't charged OT to her yet.
I have had 2 occasions with "bad check". First time she said that her CIPS would be shut off if she didn't pay & needed to "bounce my check". How mad would I be? Of course I said I would be HOT. So, she didn't do it. Second time was about a month ago (right before my dad took over all her finances) She calls to tell me her bank informed her my check did not clear. She did pay me the PART of the fee I have listed in my contract, but I was still mad. I told her she had to pay with cash from now on & she said, NO!
I am stupid (& my dad sided with her saying there was no need now that he was "in charge").
Last week she texts me 15mins before DH is supposed to be here picking up. She informs me she will be picking up. DH is on OT. When she picks up she says she knew about it the eve before, but "forgot" to let me know.
And then a day later she texts to say she has to go in early that Friday, charge her accordingly. I text her back with a reminder of what OT fees are & ask her how early she will be dropping off. She was not happy about paying the extra. I guess she assumed I wouldn't charge her.
Monday her DH picks up & tells me that he will "more than likely be early Wednesday." He is going to a funeral & doesn't know when it will be done, but should be before his normal 2:30P pick-up. I STUPIDLY say, don't worry, take your time.
That eve her DH calls my DH to ask him to check over their vehicle. When her DH comes I thank him for the GREAT communication. He says, sure! And then says, "that (my sister) will be picking up Tues b/c he wanted to go to the visitation. He was going to go home, shower, & be ready." Me, NOT A PROBLEM. Thanks for letting me know!
Tuesday comes & goes. Wednesday, I await early pickup. STUPID. By 330 I assume my sister is coming instead. And yes, she did. She walked in at 4:48P.
I inform her she is late. She argues that she is not & that my clocks are wrong.
I'm now a bit put off. I show her that my cell phone shows the same time as my house clocks. OK, maybe that is where *I* crossed the line, bringing about this.........
Then tack it on my F*****G bill.
WHAT??!!!
So hurt. I said, really? Insert sister name.
Her: Yeah really!!
I then asked if this is how she would treat another provider?
She says: OH GOD!! Here we go!!
I just look at her, feeling totally defeated & say, it really hurts to know you have so little respect for me.
I walk away & let her finish getting her child ready & they go.
This morning's drop-off was tense. She paid me, which is something she hasn't been doing until Friday. And made it out for the extra $3.
I don't know if that's an I'm sorry. BUT as well as I know my sister, I feel more like it was a "here's your $3, I hope it was worth it."
I seriously don't even know what to say.
IF you got this far, thanks for reading & for letting me vent.
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