Separating Children During Lunch

[LoraJenkins]

My 2 oldest DCKs have been having issues during lunch with the whole "she's looking at me" and playing. My question is would it be ok to separate the one doing all the playing and make them eat at a small table alone instead of at the big table with the rest of us? Just to see if this helps? I am at my wits end with this and am tired of fighting with them for an hour to get them to eat.

[cheerfuldom]

this seems fair. they are welcome to join the regular table once they can follow the lunch rules. they are still being offered lunch and still being supervised so there is only so much you can do.

[Thetotspot]

Lora...although i think it would work...i am wondering if the parent might throw a caniption because their child was singled out. It depends on the parent. And some states and even the food program might even see it as distasteful. How about move half of the kids to the small table and keep half at big. Tweak your groups until lunchtime goes smoothly? i have the advantage of having a few childrens tables...we all sit at the tables but we rearrange chairs and add tables and the like according to who is there Nd what their problem is ( kickers would not be opposite a child...best friends that talk a bunch or on opposite ends od table not facing each other, etc).

I mean no offense with my response btw...i just know that there are regulations in some states about singling kids out and its such a grey area anymore...ie the time kimberlu got cited for time outs that were totally called for...

[coolconfidentme]

I went though something similar complete with tattling. I found timeout during meal time was REAL effective for my crew. Nobody wants to sit there on a TO mat watching their friends eat. (I already have 3 small children's picnic table & the kids sit with who they are the least disruptive with.)

[Hunni Bee]

I always did this. My crew knew that if you were rude or playing at the table, you ate alone.

[rmc20021]

I have 4 yo boys who does a lot of playing, trying to dance and talk, talk, talk at the table. If they don't cooperate when I tell them less playing/talking and more eating, I will send one away from the table until the others are finished...the one acting out the most.

It always works and I rarely have to use this technique but I don't mind the kids being social at the table, but when they are slinging their forks around with food on it, near other people's eyes, or talking non stop and not eating, it's time for them to make a choice to eat, or leave the table until everyone else is finished.

[mema]

I've had to separate before. If they can't use manners/respect (age appropriate), then they don't need to be at the same table. They still get fed, just by themselves until they can act appropriately. Once they get to school, they have the same thing. Mess around and you're done. My dd's school has a table that is dedicated for this reason. Why should everyone else have to suffer with it when they are behaving and trying to eat a good meal? Every child I have had to separate, I have told their parents, well, I make the kids tell them, but they haven't had any problems with it. They agree, (well, most of them) that once they get to school, it will be the same thing.

[LoraJenkins]

Update

Well bringing in a small table into the kitchen did not work well at all. The 2 older DCKs I have WANTED to sit at the table because it was something new. My DCG refused to eat all but 1/4 of her sandwich. So.....tomorrow I will try starting them at the new table and if one acts up they will be moved back to the big table with me & the littles. I really should have seen it coming since it was a new table....ARGGGG!

[canadiancare]

I would hesitate to use the big table as the consequence since your ultimate goal should be to get everyone at one table.

Instead I would tell them the lunch expectations and if they don't meet them, they are excused from the table.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I would hesitate to use the big table as the consequence since your ultimate goal should be to get everyone at one table.

Instead I would tell them the lunch expectations and if they don't meet them, they are excused from the table.

This is how I handle things.

[Willow]

Instead I would tell them the lunch expectations and if they don't meet them, they are excused from the table.

I was starting to feel like such a meanie because this is what I do and no one else suggested it!

Even with little ones if they throw utensils, bowls, cups or food they're down and are done until the next meal or snack.


You either behave or you don't eat. I don't play up and down or all around games at mealtimes.

[Play Care]

I would hesitate to use the big table as the consequence since your ultimate goal should be to get everyone at one table.

Instead I would tell them the lunch expectations and if they don't meet them, they are excused from the table.

This is what I do as well. I figure that everyone has been offered food - which is all I'm obligated to do - I can't force them to eat. This way no one can say a child was being singled out - the child chose not to eat.

[LoraJenkins]

Ok. Tried another approach today. Again DCG decided to play and not eat. So I told her to get down & go set in the livingroon (I could still see her) until everyone else was finished eating. I offered a dessert to the children who were eating well without playing excessively. We will see how this works. I know lunch went a lot smoother for me since there was no arguing.

[Willow]

Ok. Tried another approach today. Again DCG decided to play and not eat. So I told her to get down & go set in the livingroon (I could still see her) until everyone else was finished eating. I offered a dessert to the children who were eating well without playing excessively. We will see how this works. I know lunch went a lot smoother for me since there was no arguing.

Good on ya for throwing dessert in for added oomph! Sounds like you made quite the impression! happyface