Social Life

[jokalima]

Just wondering how do you manage to have a social life? I am @ home all day every day no co-workers, weekends use to either visit family and clean plus one day of weekend do grocery for DC, house seems to never be the way I like it so even when DC is closed during weekends I find myself cleaning and putting things together. Don't have time to make friends or spend time with others, sometimes I try to convince myself I don't really need it but truth is I sometimes do feel the need of having other people in my life, grown ups I mean

I am not from here, I moved here about 7 years ago and started working, did not focused on making lots of friends, then I started the DC and now I see that I have no time to spend with other adults. How do you manage your social life :confused:

[rmc20021]

I haven't done it yet this time around, but when I had my daycare back when my kids were little and my husband was a truck driver so he was never home...I took that opportunity to take whatever classes I could take.
During my previous years of doing daycare, I accumulated an EMT (emergency medical technician) certification, an insurance agent license (both of which required a state exam to complete) and also took various other classes through the child care resources (which back then were free and frequest).
These days...I just enjoy my quiet times and do what I want around the house. But I do plan on starting to take classes again in the summer. I was going to this winter but was a day late registering for spring classes.
You never know when the day may come you decide not to do daycare any longer and having credits accumulated will make you more marketable for other types of work...if you ever need it.

[MNMommy2]

Unfortunately, I have not been able to find that balance.

It doesn't help that I am very introverted and find it hard to make friends due to shyness/social awkwardness. I'm a nice, normal person--just shy.

I have put that on my list of self-improvements for the year, though! I need to get out of my comfort zone and try to meet more people. I have a ton of acquintances around town but only a couple close friends.

[rmc20021]

I'm extremely shy also...that's why I take the classes. It gets me around other adults with the same interests, yet I don't really have to put forth the effort to be social. And I usually end up at least having adult conversations, not necessarily real friendships, but enough to satisfy my need for adult conversation etc.

[Willow]

You really have to make an effort to keep a hold of who you are as an individual and seek out your own hobbies and interests.

I too am incredibly introverted so most of mine are largely solo activities, but that's still my time!!!

Hunting runs early spring turkey (April) through late season bow (last day of the year) with 3D shoots in the summer, fall bow season, late fall pheasant/duck/goose season with the dogs and early winter gun season all in between. If a particular critter isn't in season I can still fill my time with shooting practice, food plot planting and tending, setting and checking trail cameras and hiking/observing/documenting.

Fishing is near year round too.

Horseback riding is year round. My dream was always to have my own horse on my own property. At 29 I finally got my first horse, this year I'll finally move her from a boarding situation to our home! I can't wait until the ground thaws and we can get started fencing and building her barn.

My dogs keep me hopping for sure. My two bigs are nuts about retrieving, hiking and and shed hunting and my two littles are always there for spoiling, snuggling and company on car trips.

Hockey is my winter indulgence. I am obsessed with the MN Wild. I don't ever miss a game. If I have to DVR them to watch them in peace I will.

I also like to do huge jigsaw puzzles

All of that is MY time. It's not me giving to my business, or to my family's wants or needs.

During my first marriage I completely lost myself taking care of everyone else. I gained a load of weight and really started hating life. The abuse that ended that marriage aside I can't look back at that end as an entirely bad thing. I re-found myself and I am so soooo much happier now that I make me having a life outside of my work and my family a priority.

Even if you can only start by carving out 5 minutes a day - DO. If you're not sure of what to do with that 5 minutes take one thing you like and figure out how you can expand on that interest.

[MarinaVanessa]

When I started FCC I immediately started taking classes and looked for a local Resource & Referral agency. The R&R agency had a free training program specifically for family child care providers so I joined that so that I could meet other DC providers. Meeting other ladies there that were in the same business as I was in really helped me. Some lived in my immediate area and we exchanged info and plan park days a few times a month. This interaction with humans that are over 4 ft tall really helps .

I also joined my local child care association and got really involved. I started off volunteering to help out when I could and got to meet even more people that do daycare. It's great to have people to call and chat with when I have an issue.

If there are any groups in your area like these you could try that. It can benefit you both business-wise (training/education) and socially (support system).

And like Willow says, having your own hobbies helps also. Set time aside to spend on yourself. I personally love photography and collect miniature dollhouses and accessories. I make time to take my kids out to the park or to other places and take my camera with me. I also take time to work on my dollhouses (I have 2 right now that I'm working on building). My DH and I take time to do adult only dinners with friends and that helps out a lot with the need to unwind.

[jokalima]

Nice, thanks a lot for the tips.

I am also extremely shy, one of my biggest problems is the language, I can handle speaking in English to 1-2 people that I know at a time, but put me in a group of strangers that speak English and I will forget every single word of English I know,is terrible. My other problem is that my close friends are back home, here only people I met during my last job before home DC so is not like I have close friends or a chance to make them. But I am going to look to the class thing, I think it might help a lot. I also have to find energy, because maybe doing activities with my child like going to the park might help as well, but I am always so tired after DC that I just want to do NOTHING and my child pays for it Thanks again for tips and keep posting so I can get more ideas.

[daycarediva]

When I started FCC I immediately started taking classes and looked for a local Resource & Referral agency. The R&R agency had a free training program specifically for family child care providers so I joined that so that I could meet other DC providers. Meeting other ladies there that were in the same business as I was in really helped me. Some lived in my immediate area and we exchanged info and plan park days a few times a month. This interaction with humans that are over 4 ft tall really helps .

I also joined my local child care association and got really involved. I started off volunteering to help out when I could and got to meet even more people that do daycare. It's great to have people to call and chat with when I have an issue.

If there are any groups in your area like these you could try that. It can benefit you both business-wise (training/education) and socially (support system).

And like Willow says, having your own hobbies helps also. Set time aside to spend on yourself. I personally love photography and collect miniature dollhouses and accessories. I make time to take my kids out to the park or to other places and take my camera with me. I also take time to work on my dollhouses (I have 2 right now that I'm working on building). My DH and I take time to do adult only dinners with friends and that helps out a lot with the need to unwind.

I am not from here and although some of my (awesome) dcm's have suggested I go out with them on weekends, I don't mix business and have turned them down.

I do as Marina says and go to CCR&R classes, I met a few providers there that I clicked with and one is VERY close to me, so we meet at the park 1-2x a month (or more in summer) and then we get to chat. It's also an AWESOME sounding board for daycare kid issues, behavior and such as the other provider can see it and usually has a different perspective.

I also take time for myself. Go get your nails done or get a pedi. Adult beauty shop conversation is entertaining. I go to the gym, go tanning 3-4x a week and 1-2x a month I get my nails done. That's Mommy time, and it makes me a happier person.

[VTMom]

I agree with the class ideas. I take yoga weekly, even when I want to skip it! It's not daycare related, it's good for me, and it's ADULT only! Going every week, you get to know people in the community, and just by smiling and saying "hi", friendships are easily started. I'm getting closer and closer to taking Zumba as well, but that sounds like a lot of work!

Taking that first step is the hardest part. Good luck! I wish you were in my community - I'd drag you to yoga !

[itlw8]

I have 2 very good friends that also do childcare. We make a point of planning things.If we don't time slips by and we do nothing. our kids are grown but it seems now grand kidsare the problem. 1 has a dd just graduated nursing school ( single parent) and my ds ( single parent ) is going back to school.

get involved with a church and a group in the church. maybe the ladies that always volunteer in the kitchen.

[My3cents]

Just wondering how do you manage to have a social life? I am @ home all day every day no co-workers, weekends use to either visit family and clean plus one day of weekend do grocery for DC, house seems to never be the way I like it so even when DC is closed during weekends I find myself cleaning and putting things together. Don't have time to make friends or spend time with others, sometimes I try to convince myself I don't really need it but truth is I sometimes do feel the need of having other people in my life, grown ups I mean

I am not from here, I moved here about 7 years ago and started working, did not focused on making lots of friends, then I started the DC and now I see that I have no time to spend with other adults. How do you manage your social life :confused:

After work, I am so exhausted, I want to do nothing. I have to push myself and sometimes that push is not there. I am looking forward to reading more on this thread for ideas too. Thanks for posting. I too feel I need more of a social life, but have a hard time figuring out all of that. I often come here to get that adult stimulation piece. If I have a chance that is, and some days I can and others forget it.

[countrymom]

my kids are involved in activities so thats how I know alot of parents. I think my problem is that its too much work to keep up a friendship. I know people like to go out and hang out with their friends, but I like to stay at home and have "quiet time"

hobbies is a must, I too love doing puzzles (so do my kids, its so fun) I crochet all the time or read or in the summer I love to sit outside on my porch and enjoy outside time.

[My3cents]

You really have to make an effort to keep a hold of who you are as an individual and seek out your own hobbies and interests.

I too am incredibly introverted so most of mine are largely solo activities, but that's still my time!!!

Hunting runs early spring turkey (April) through late season bow (last day of the year) with 3D shoots in the summer, fall bow season, late fall pheasant/duck/goose season with the dogs and early winter gun season all in between. If a particular critter isn't in season I can still fill my time with shooting practice, food plot planting and tending, setting and checking trail cameras and hiking/observing/documenting.

Fishing is near year round too.

Horseback riding is year round. My dream was always to have my own horse on my own property. At 29 I finally got my first horse, this year I'll finally move her from a boarding situation to our home! I can't wait until the ground thaws and we can get started fencing and building her barn.

My dogs keep me hopping for sure. My two bigs are nuts about retrieving, hiking and and shed hunting and my two littles are always there for spoiling, snuggling and company on car trips.

Hockey is my winter indulgence. I am obsessed with the MN Wild. I don't ever miss a game. If I have to DVR them to watch them in peace I will.

I also like to do huge jigsaw puzzles

All of that is MY time. It's not me giving to my business, or to my family's wants or needs.

During my first marriage I completely lost myself taking care of everyone else. I gained a load of weight and really started hating life. The abuse that ended that marriage aside I can't look back at that end as an entirely bad thing. I re-found myself and I am so soooo much happier now that I make me having a life outside of my work and my family a priority.

Even if you can only start by carving out 5 minutes a day - DO. If you're not sure of what to do with that 5 minutes take one thing you like and figure out how you can expand on that interest.

thanks for sharing

[My3cents]

When I started FCC I immediately started taking classes and looked for a local Resource & Referral agency. The R&R agency had a free training program specifically for family child care providers so I joined that so that I could meet other DC providers. Meeting other ladies there that were in the same business as I was in really helped me. Some lived in my immediate area and we exchanged info and plan park days a few times a month. This interaction with humans that are over 4 ft tall really helps .

I also joined my local child care association and got really involved. I started off volunteering to help out when I could and got to meet even more people that do daycare. It's great to have people to call and chat with when I have an issue.

If there are any groups in your area like these you could try that. It can benefit you both business-wise (training/education) and socially (support system).

And like Willow says, having your own hobbies helps also. Set time aside to spend on yourself. I personally love photography and collect miniature dollhouses and accessories. I make time to take my kids out to the park or to other places and take my camera with me. I also take time to work on my dollhouses (I have 2 right now that I'm working on building). My DH and I take time to do adult only dinners with friends and that helps out a lot with the need to unwind.

can you share pictures of your doll houses- neat hobby

[canadiancare]

I have a neighbour who comes over for "chattersize" once a week. We stick an exercise dvd in and just kind of swing our arms around, marching in place while we are talking. I also spend a lot of time on various forums with virtual friends.