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I Need A Kick In The Rear

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  • I Need A Kick In The Rear

    Around here, charging by the hour/day, not by the spot, is the norm.

    I have 3 children signed on right now.

    Child 1 is pt (15 hours a week) same every week. Always let me know if child won't be here (sick, etc.), always give me a minimum of 2 weeks notice of vacations, never have to ask for payment, never have to remind them of anything, basically the dream family.

    Child 2 is ft (30-40 hours a week) always Tues, Wed, Thurs. Fridays occasionally. Always have the schedule a minimum of a week in advance, never have to ask for payment, never have to remind them of anything, another dream family.

    Child 3 was supposed to be ft (50 hours a week) but is basically drop in-when they have $$ (0-50 hours a week). Sometimes I know a week ahead of time, other times I know an hour before they get here. Always telling me they were coming, never asking me if I could take the child that day. Me, being stupid, allowed this because I had the space available.

    I just recieved a call from a potential family. Due to the age of the child I would not be able (per licensing) to have Child 2, Child 3 and Potential child here at the same time. I have not interviewed potential family face to face yet, though our phone conversations have been very productive--no red flags whatsoever. I realize that could change though.

    If the potential family and I are a good fit, it would be in the best interest of the business to take on the potential family (30 hours a week, set schedule) and switch Child 3 to drop-in on days when I have the space (when child 2 is here but not potential child and vice-versa).

    Ethically I feel like a b-o-o-b. Child 3 has done so well here. This kid THRIVES on structure and basically doesn't have any outside of daycare. I feel so incredibly bad because this kid is paying the price for the familys irresponsibility. I KNOW it shouldn't matter, I KNOW it shouldn't make a difference to me, but it DOES.

    Okay.......kick away.

  • #2
    Is it an option to give family 3 a heads up? outline what you are looking for in order for them to have priority for the spot? if they choose to stay very unscheduled and random, then this lets them know that they are no longer guaranteed the spot as you are expanding. if they cannot commit to a set schedule, you cant promise daycare will be available. this way if they choose to stay at drop in, its their choice. they might surprise you and get it together in order to stay with you. they probably are just being super random and last minute because they have the option too.....it doesnt sound like you have said anything about it in the past so they may not even realize it is a problem

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    • #3
      Originally posted by cheerfuldom View Post
      Is it an option to give family 3 a heads up? outline what you are looking for in order for them to have priority for the spot? if they choose to stay very unscheduled and random, then this lets them know that they are no longer guaranteed the spot as you are expanding. if they cannot commit to a set schedule, you cant promise daycare will be available. this way if they choose to stay at drop in, its their choice. they might surprise you and get it together in order to stay with you. they probably are just being super random and last minute because they have the option too.....it doesnt sound like you have said anything about it in the past so they may not even realize it is a problem
      I completely agree

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      • #4
        It is completely normal to feel bad about how our choices as well as the parents choices effect a child. I feel that way sometimes too.

        But one thing that helps me is to ask myself certain questions when I am faced with this sort of dilemma.

        Can you financially afford to continue with the kids you have now?
        If you are looking for more financial stability, and taking the new "potential" family will help that, then NEVER allow another person's (a child or a whole family) needs to over ride your own.

        Are your helping this child and hurting yourself at the same time? In other words, are you making any type of exceptions just because you feel badly about this kiddos situation? If you are, then ALL your decisions need to be based on what is best for that child and not you. Which is not fair to YOU and to the other kids you care for.

        It is nice that you care and I would think that when it really comes right down to it we ALL feel that way about some of the kids we have or have had in care but bottom line is you really aren't doing yourself or this child any favors by keeping him if it isn't the right thing for you.

        People aren't going to make exceptions for him his whole life just because he has less than perfect parents or a less than ideal homelife. If you do that, then you are only a short term fix for what will be a life ling problem/issue for him.

        If it helps, make a list of pros and cons in regards to enrolling the new kid and/or keeping the other one. Sometimes putting things in a visual form helps me "see" things better. HTH

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        • #5
          Thank you

          Good advice Cheer...putting it in their hands & giving them the option.

          BlackCat...Lots of great questions & you hit the nail on the head. I will be working on a pros & cons list this weekend.

          Thanks again

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          • #6
            Originally posted by daycarediva View Post
            I completely agree
            (me too!)

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            • #7
              Well I typed up a letter & gave it to family 3 as well as gave them the option verbally on Friday (12th). I gave them until this coming Friday at 6pm to decide one way or the other.

              I will update when I have the decision.

              Thanks ladies!

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              • #8
                Originally posted by cheerfuldom View Post
                Is it an option to give family 3 a heads up? outline what you are looking for in order for them to have priority for the spot? if they choose to stay very unscheduled and random, then this lets them know that they are no longer guaranteed the spot as you are expanding. if they cannot commit to a set schedule, you cant promise daycare will be available. this way if they choose to stay at drop in, its their choice. they might surprise you and get it together in order to stay with you. they probably are just being super random and last minute because they have the option too.....it doesnt sound like you have said anything about it in the past so they may not even realize it is a problem
                I agree also.

                I'd let them know that someone else is interested in their spot and ask them if they are interested in becoming more regular. If they aren't then you can give them a 2 week notice (or whatever is in your policies) if you like the potential family.

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                • #9
                  Update: apparently family 3 have decided to go elsewhere. Another dc just called me to ask about why the family is leaving. What do u usually say?

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                  • #10
                    "It just wasn't a good fit. DCF's needs were different than what I could offer and so they needed to find child care that was a better fit."

                    This way you don't say too much and you don't say who's choice it was to leave. If they press for more info simply say ...

                    "Unfortunately because I don't have DCF's permission to share personal information I'm really not at liberty to share that kind of information ... but I say that I will miss them and I hope that they found great child care that was better suited. It wasn't on bad terms at all.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by MarinaVanessa View Post
                      "It just wasn't a good fit. DCF's needs were different than what I could offer and so they needed to find child care that was a better fit."

                      This way you don't say too much and you don't say who's choice it was to leave. If they press for more info simply say ...

                      "Unfortunately because I don't have DCF's permission to share personal information I'm really not at liberty to share that kind of information ... but I say that I will miss them and I hope that they found great child care that was better suited. It wasn't on bad terms at all.
                      Thank you

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