What Do You Do With "My Mom Said"

[Country Kids]

What do you do with the child that keeps saying "My Mom Said" things.

Today it was I'm big. Yes, you are big but we don't have to argue about it! But my mom said I was big.

Also, my mom said you can die if you don't eat your fruit/veggies! UUGGHH, you won't die but you won't be healthy. No, my mom said you will die.

Lord, have mercy on me-please

My mom said I can't watch that movie (I believe it was a Disney Movie) its to scary. Next sentence telling the kids how they watch Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and another darker movie-

[daycare]

I would say well thats great, you can do all of those things with your mother and talk to her about them at home. I said ______________-and this is what we are doing. If you do not want to do _____________________please feel free to color in a book or read.

Guess I am mean....

[e.j.]

Sometimes, I'll hear that from my dc kids. For something like the "I'm big" comment, I'd just agree. "You sure are! Mom was right." For the veggies thing, I probably would say, "Well, it's important to eat them to stay healthy." I'd probably avoid saying the mom was wrong. For either example, I'd quickly change the subject to avoid going back and forth with the kid.

The movie? Well, you never know. My son used to surprise me with some of the things he found scary/not scary. He could watch the Harry Potter movies and not bat an eye but totally freak out watching "The Santa Clause" movie because the roasted turkey gets burned in the oven. Who knows? Maybe there was something that scared him in that one Disney movie and dcm said, "Well, lets not watch that movie again." He could also be telling you that mom won't let him watch it because he isn't intersted in watching it.

In cases where I think the kid is blaming mom in an effort to get out of doing something (usually an older kid), I'll call his bluff and say, "Let me just call mom on the phone and ask her." or "Oh, OK. I can't wait to ask mom about it when she comes to pick you up this afternoon." Almost every time, the kid will tell me, "Oh, I was just joking!"

[Country Kids]

Well for the "I'm big" comment they argue with other children on this and won't give it up no matter what I say. It just starts an agrument with all of them and I'll even say your all big but no this one keeps saying "My mom says" I'm big.

Then for the healthy food comment the child was telling another child that they would die if they don't eat it because thats what "My mom says". So then here we go with another argument.

Its like if they say "My mom says" it gives them permission to argue or to start an agrument!

[wdmmom]

Redirection. Every time he says, "My mom said...", turn it into something meaningless....

Apples are red.
Bananas are yellow.
My car is black.
Dogs say "woof".

As soon as he acknowledges you aren't going to entertain "My mom said", he'll stop doing it and move onto something else.

[logged out]

It seems like this kid either likes to argue or just likes to hear himself talk

Well for the "I'm big" comment they argue with other children on this and won't give it up no matter what I say. It just starts an agrument with all of them and I'll even say your all big but no this one keeps saying "My mom says" I'm big.

Then for the healthy food comment the child was telling another child that they would die if they don't eat it because thats what "My mom says". So then here we go with another argument.

Its like if they say "My mom says" it gives them permission to argue or to start an agrument!

I would reply back:
"Yes I know you are growing/getting taller/becoming an older kid"
"You are getting big but that doesn't necessarily mean your are bigger than everyone else or that the other kids are not big"
"I know Mommy said you are big- that means she knows you are growing up just like all the other kids here are".
"You are becoming a big kid but so is Billy*, and Joey* and Suzy*... and everyone here"
*generic examples

Or you can ask them open-ended questions "What do you mean by you are big?" ; "What does it mean to be big?", etc. Questions like these help children learn better communication and deeper thinking skills this will probably make him think a little bit more about what things really mean and how to explain it. He will either try to stop making it into a fight because he will realize it's not worth fighting over or he will just stop saying that cuz he doesn't want you to ask anymore questions ()

Or just tell them this is not worth arguing about because sizes, like big/medium/small, are not written in stone and there is no real definition/law to what is considered big or small (one of those "the eyes of the beholder" things). And maybe turn it into a curriculum about sizes/conservation and how something can be considered 'big' but not bigger than everything. They will be a little confused and be in disequalibrium for a while before it sticks into a new concept develops- like when a kid sees a dog first and thinks every fuzzy animal with 4 legs (like cats or horses) is a dog until they expierience otherwise. There was one toddler at an old daycare I worked at and she called all the teacher's and daycare mom's "Mommy" because she never been to a daycare before.

I would also try to tell the parents about my concerns (like it is causing distractions/ arguements and other problems during learning time) and suggest that they should try to use more discriptive and less labling and limited comments then 'you are big'- such as "you are growing!" or "you are getting taller" even though its seen as good now the kid may see it as a challenge to be the "biggest" and may lead to body image issues (bigorexia- its a real thing!). And maybe consider adopting that concept into your daycare program.

JMHO, I don't know why and maybe I'm just sensitive because I have always been overweight and made fun of for being "big" (and I knew some tall people who hated being called 'big' too) but I cringe whenever my mom (or anyone else for that manner) says "Oh, you are so big!" to another family's child because I see it as a form of labling (which can stick to a child's self image) and some parents from different cultural beliefs/backgrounds can misinterpret the word "big" as meaning "fat"- espesually with the obesity epidemic.

[Hunni Bee]

I got to the point at the old job where I didn't entertain any "My mama said..."

But it was stuff like "My mama said I don't have to eat this" or "My mama said she's picking us up (as opposed to riding the van)".

I just said "That's good. But your mama's not here."

[coolconfidentme]

As soon as he acknowledges you aren't going to entertain "My mom said", he'll stop doing it and move onto something else.

I say a simple ok & look at the child with a big smile. If the continues, I say nothing..., just smile.

[Willow]

Redirection. Every time he says, "My mom said...", turn it into something meaningless....

Apples are red.
Bananas are yellow.
My car is black.
Dogs say "woof".

As soon as he acknowledges you aren't going to entertain "My mom said", he'll stop doing it and move onto something else.

Stealing this


Edited to add - the only ones that REALLY start to get under my skin are when "mom" starts dictating my rules - "Mom said you have to take us outside today" (when it's 10 below), over breakfast - "Mom said we could still come today even though ***** threw up all night" (which then prompts me to reach for my phone). That kind of crap really makes me mad and I do usually share a line that I hope the kids take back and share....."I have a hard time believing that because no *GOOD* mom would send their child outside when it's that cold, especially with such thin mittens!" or "I have a hard time believing that because your mom knows the rules here and would never want to get everyone else sick - including me! Otherwise you guys wouldn't be able to come the whole rest of the week!"