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Weird Guy Came To My House (And I Don't Like How I Handled It!)

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  • Weird Guy Came To My House (And I Don't Like How I Handled It!)

    We have a resource and referral office here and it's lists all of the daycares but only gives the street they are on, not the exact address.

    I have to say I will NEVER do this again but I just am not a person who is quick on my feet when I get put on the spot! I wish I was.

    So this guy pulls into my driveway and comes to the door, unannounced. He says he was able to determine which house on my street had the dc by looking for lots of toys (stalking?) He does not have a kid with him although he says his child is asleep in the car.

    I let him in and showed him the dc room (no kids were in the dc room since it was naptime and my hubby was home.) We talked briefly and he said he needed to talk to his wife but wanted to start care here. Of course I never heard from him again. I wonder now if he was even looking for daycare!

    I don't even have any openings! Why did I let this guy in? I need to get over my people pleasing nature but this weirdo taught me a lesson and I will never "interview" without an appointment again.

    Freaking nutjobs!

  • #2
    Oh, I also told resource and referral to take my name off their list.

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    • #3
      YIKES!!! The next time I would not let them in but maybe tell them to call you (the agency lists your number, I assume?) and you can set up an appointment.

      I know another provider who had a guy show up for an on the spot interview. He claimed his grandson was coming to live with him and he needed dc for him. Never did produce the grandson but was very interested in diapering procedure

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      • #4
        I had a guy show up one day last Spring. He asked if I was a daycare as he thought I was since he had seen the DCK's outside and all the toys in the yard but wasn't positive.

        Of course, I am thinking a million things are odd about this whole thing, I mean who drives around stops at daycares or acts like they are stalking one?? Plus being male, I had a hundred stereotypical thoughts about there not being an actual child etc etc...

        Anyways, we were outside when he stopped so I didn't let him in the house but I did stand in the yard and speak with him for a while. (I also saw no child although his was also sleeping in the car.) He also told me he would talk to his wife and get back to me.

        In my case, the dad turned out to be legit and he did have both a child and a wife . He lived a few blocks over, was new in town and did drive by every day on his way home and did see us playing outside and my yard full of toys so his guess that I was a daycare was correct although his search methods were a bit unorthodox.

        He and his wife stopped over the next day. Signed up their child and started a few days later. They shared and juggled child care duties but their schedules were starting to collide so they needed FT daycare.

        I have had the child in care now for a about a year and have to say they are by far one of the strangest "interviews" I have encountered but one of the nicest families I have had too so luckily for me it was a win-win situation.

        I think that things could go both ways but I also think there are a million contributing factors in each persons situation that define if it is a time to be concerned or a just a wayward first time parent doing the child care search with no real idea on how to properly do it. Plus with so many dads now being sahd's and/or primary caregivers, we can certainly expect them to search differently than moms would....kwim?

        Other factors for me are that I live in a small town (which I grew up in), I know most my neighbors and feel comfortable enough with my own instincts and gut reactions to lead me in the right direction too but I don't think I would ever just let someone (a stranger) in my daycare without knowing for sure.

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        • #5
          omg....I cant believe you even let him in when you dont even have openings! girl, you need to work on your backbone! I never ever do on the spot interviews. I would also never let a parent in the house and their child left in the car alone....thats dangerous for the child and I cant imagine that you wouldnt be possibly liable if something was to happen with that kid out in the car alone.....if there even was a kid out there.

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          • #6
            I have only had one unannounced interview, that was a referral. However, any time anyone comes into my house I get their information, including DL information.

            After hearing about that daycare that was robbed with a house full of kids, I tend to be a little over the top. I know that my methods don't really prevent it 100%, but I am trying.

            How scary for you...hope that it was just a curious parent.....

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            • #7
              Yikes!!! I am not a good on the spot thinker either - I always regret saying/not saying something later but I hope I don't ever think to let someone in the house like that.

              Thank goodness nothing worse happened but I know you will feel better if like blackcat's situation you actually hear from him and the mom again so you can put your mind at rest!!

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              • #8
                I ONLY do interviews after hours so that makes it easier to think on my feet

                I am with the children right now but I would be glad to talk with you after 5:30

                Our Lab is very friendly but if the kids are outside and a stranger comes to the gate sh runs barking.

                I talk to them at the gate and they can call if interested. got to say they usually don't call as the dog scared the off. If they would have come through the door she would have ignored them.
                It:: will wait

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by cheerfuldom View Post
                  omg....I cant believe you even let him in when you dont even have openings! girl, you need to work on your backbone! I never ever do on the spot interviews. I would also never let a parent in the house and their child left in the car alone....thats dangerous for the child and I cant imagine that you wouldnt be possibly liable if something was to happen with that kid out in the car alone.....if there even was a kid out there.
                  ITA! No WAY IN He L L I would have let him in. This isn't about being a "people pleaser" it is about ensuring the safety of children in care. You are fortunate your husband was home....who knows what he may have done if he wasn't....and I am sure the guy wasn't expecting to see your husband there or he wouldn't have stopped by in the first place.

                  PLEASE do not ever do it again.....your post really scares me.....you cannot simply trust people because they say they have a kid.

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                  • #10
                    I never would have let him if my hubby hadn't been here. I wished I hadn't let him in even though hubby was here!

                    If he does call me back, which I highly doubt since I don't think he was looking for care, I will not watch for them anyway. Anyone who does not have enough common sense to call first is not someone I want to watch for.

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                    • #11
                      I've never had that happen but I'd be reluctant to let them in my house on the spot. They'd need to set up an interview after hours and if I didn't have a spot, well they'd get told that and no interview would happen.

                      Make sure to lock your doors and keep a watchful eye out, this guy now knows how your house is set up and that you are often at home all day with kids.

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                      • #12
                        I'm so thankful that you are okay and he didn't try anything. He could have been legit, but could have been many other things. Could have been a guy casing out your house to see what good things you have to steal.

                        I have had about 4 people come up to me either in the yard or 1 actually came to the door that saw that I had a daycare. It's pretty obvious with that many kids running around that I have a daycare. One of those, now that I think about it put a note in my mailbox to call her. I did and I watched her daughter for a couple of years. Out of the 4, I took 3 of them. We live in a mid size subdivision, so it's not hard to see if the people really live here or are stalkers.

                        Be careful woman!!

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                        • #13
                          Call the police immediately, and report this man. Trust your gut instincts on this. The police can patrol the area for the vehicle description over the next few days/weeks to see if he is casing houses or if he fits the description of a pedophile.

                          My husband is a police officer and he said to call immediately.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by harperluu View Post
                            Call the police immediately, and report this man. Trust your gut instincts on this. The police can patrol the area for the vehicle description over the next few days/weeks to see if he is casing houses or if he fits the description of a pedophile.

                            My husband is a police officer and he said to call immediately.
                            Definitely this.

                            The only time I had someone show up unannounced I told them I would need to take their driver's license while they waited outside so that I could call the police to check them out (this was before the sex offender registry). They hemmed and hawed around and left rather quickly, so I'm sure I dodged a bullet that day.

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                            • #15
                              After thinking about this a little more, I agree about calling the police AND I would call licensing and report it. They need to let all providers in the area know to be on the lookout for this guy and to NOT let him in if he comes to their door.

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