What Do You Do About Constant "Why"?

[sahm2three]

Do you ban the word? Or do you answer them every time? What do you do?? OMG, the why is going to drive me bonkers! UGH!

[Childminder]

Why do you think? is usually my comeback.

[sahm2three]

Why do you think? is usually my comeback.

This is what I say the first 500 times, then I am beyond irritated and just shoot them a look. Ugh. I wish they weren't all in the why stage at the same time!

[daycare]

OOOHHH YOU dont know the why game....it's one of my favorite...

First off, you do need to allow a time during the day where the kids can ask questions and get answers. Perhaps during circle time is a good place to do this.

Ok WHY game..

kid asks you why is the sky blue

you say, why is your name joe

Basically, every time someone asks a question, you return it with a question....

[kathiemarie]

I put it back to them. Why is the sky blue, Kathie? I don't know Scotty, why is it? It makes them stop and think especially if it something you have told them 100x's

[cheerfuldom]

i just say "no more questions" and stop answering. when it gets excessive, its attention seeking behavior and I ignore that type of stuff. Now my oldest will say "mom needs a break from questions" LOL

Now if it is really just a curious child, I have no problem answering questions!

[sahm2three]

If it were curiosity, then I would be ok with that. It isn't. It is the question why abotu EVERYTHING. What color is this? Why? What are you doing? Why? What is this? Why? And it is ALLLLLLL stuff they know. Or why is this color green?!?! Ummm, because thats its name! Oy!

[daycare]

seriously try the question game....they will stop

[Blackcat31]

I am going to ask why.....

Why are you trying to stop them from asking?
Why are you trying to stop their natural curiosity?
Why not use it to your advantage?

Children who ask "Why?" aren't always looking for a concrete answer. Just because they ask what color something is doesn't always mean they want to know if it is green or red.

Children who are in this phase of knowledge-gathering are trying to process the world around them. They are beginning to understand cause and effect. They are understanding processes and actions that are neither caused by them or are done to them but that happen in the environment in which they live in.

What children are really saying when they ask why is "Hmm, that is interesting to me. We should talk more about it." They aren't necessarily so concerned about the actual answer as they are about the subject itself.

A recent study done by LiveScience says that children were more than twice as likely to re-ask their question after a non-explanation answer was given compared with a real answer containing detail and discussion about the topic.

If you want to stop your kids from continually asking "why?", you should answer them. I think that redirecting the answer back to them such as when a child asks why the sky is blue and then saying "why do you think?" should lead into a discussion not just signify the end of the conversation.

If you just turn the question back on them and say nothing more, they will continue to ask. Just like thirst or hunger, the need MUST be satiated before you can stop focusing on it.

Personally, I would take these "Why?" moments and use them as teachable moments and let the child tell you what it is they are interested in learning about and go with it.

This is exactly how I do NOT use a pre-planned curriculum and let the child(ren) lead me to the subjects and topics they want to learn more about.

Sometimes a question a child asked on Monday becomes our entire week long theme. Sometimes those little inquisitive questions can open doors to unknown topics. I think the more questions a child ask, the more in-tune with the world and environment they are.

[cheerfuldom]

I will clarify by saying that I ignore the "why" questions under the following circumstances...

1. child is asking so many questions and seeking excessive attention to the detriment of the rest of their day. They should be playing, eating, napping, following the rest of the routine....not following the provider around with a barrage of questions. Sometimes the best thing for them is to redirect them to what they should be doing, instead of encouraging more questions by answering the ones they already had.

2. child is showing rude or aggressive behavior in their quest for answers to the questions....such as shushing other kids, pushing other kids to get closer to the provider, etc. at this point, I would remind a child that we do not treat others that way and that we cannot ask questions if we are being rude to others.

3. child is asking questions about things that are not their business. This is especially true of preschool age or school age kids that think they are in charge. They dont have the right to know the answer to any question they ask especially if they are using it as a way to tattle on others, boss others around, or question authority....I am assuming we all know what I am talking about here!

4. child is asking the same question over and over and not concerned with the answer or not accepting the answer you give them. sometimes non verbal communication is the only answer they will accept. For example, "why do I have to take a nap?", provider answers this several times and child does not give up, provider tucks child into bed and no longer answers the questions but responds with "nap time" and proceeds to turn off the lights or whatever to show the child the answer to their question....basically that asking a question does not mean that you dont have to do something.

So with that in mind, I stick by my statement that yes, I do ignore some questions. Just because a child is putting something in question form does not mean that the intention is curiousity or that ignoring the verbal onslaught is inappropriate.

[Willow]

What children are really saying when they ask why is "Hmm, that is interesting to me. We should talk more about it." They aren't necessarily so concerned about the actual answer as they are about the subject itself.

BAM.



Kids that age don't ask why questions to be annoying (older children, maybe sometimes if they know it gets your goat, but that's not the primary motivation most of the time it's assumed). The reason they ask over and over again is usually because their question wasn't at all answered when they've asked before.

If I'm going to ask a question in response to a why question it's usually a "what do you mean by that, can you tell me more?" to gain more insight into what they're *actually* asking instead of what I'm assuming they're asking. It's a great way to teach good communication skills and a prompt to expand a little one's vocabulary. A conversation may start out "why is the sky blue" but what's really being asked is "why is the color blue called blue, who named it that?" or "why is the sky that dark color blue today" (signaling questions about weather or time of day) kwim?


If you feel the need to put a cap on the amount of why questions the kids in your care have OP maybe have "why time." Similar to circle time or add it on to your existing, having all at an age appropriate level sit around and take turns asking them all in one shot. Bonus would be it the kids would have the added benefit of hearing other kids curiosities and learn from them on top of the ones they think of on their own. If they ask why's outside of that time let them know that it's a great question for "why time" and they should absolutely remember it for later. Let them know you're so proud of them for using their noggins, praise them for being so smart, and remind them that you will be happy to explore the topic when you have more time to invest in their question.

[My3cents]

I am going to ask why.....

Why are you trying to stop them from asking?
Why are you trying to stop their natural curiosity?
Why not use it to your advantage?

Children who ask "Why?" aren't always looking for a concrete answer. Just because they ask what color something is doesn't always mean they want to know if it is green or red.

Children who are in this phase of knowledge-gathering are trying to process the world around them. They are beginning to understand cause and effect. They are understanding processes and actions that are neither caused by them or are done to them but that happen in the environment in which they live in.

What children are really saying when they ask why is "Hmm, that is interesting to me. We should talk more about it." They aren't necessarily so concerned about the actual answer as they are about the subject itself.

A recent study done by LiveScience says that children were more than twice as likely to re-ask their question after a non-explanation answer was given compared with a real answer containing detail and discussion about the topic.

If you want to stop your kids from continually asking "why?", you should answer them. I think that redirecting the answer back to them such as when a child asks why the sky is blue and then saying "why do you think?" should lead into a discussion not just signify the end of the conversation.

If you just turn the question back on them and say nothing more, they will continue to ask. Just like thirst or hunger, the need MUST be satiated before you can stop focusing on it.

Personally, I would take these "Why?" moments and use them as teachable moments and let the child tell you what it is they are interested in learning about and go with it.

This is exactly how I do NOT use a pre-planned curriculum and let the child(ren) lead me to the subjects and topics they want to learn more about.

Sometimes a question a child asked on Monday becomes our entire week long theme. Sometimes those little inquisitive questions can open doors to unknown topics. I think the more questions a child ask, the more in-tune with the world and environment they are.

I agree with you some, you should answer a child when they ask a question and questions can bring about lots of conversations and teaching learning moments.

I think it is ok to put it back on the child when they have asked to the point of just being a habit. Redirecting them into something else can be effective.

I think that pre-planned curriculum can open up new worlds to children and then letting it take you where it goes. Introducing a child to a subject- let's say the subject of apples. Some kids would not have that chance to explore an apple at home or learn more about it. Parents know all about apples, so they don't think to explore it more. They just figure someone else will, or they already know. (not all parents) I feel a good balance is needed. If your strictly book this and book that or just a free for all, or let the children decide everything- it doesn't teach them respect for elders that have more knowledge. If a child doesn't know about something they can't very well tell you what they want to learn. I try for a balance of both.

[MrsSteinel'sHouse]

Depends on the kid, how many questions I have just answered and the mood I am in:: I tend to start getting silly- because the buffalo ate all the cereal, because last night I had a big party in the playroom and I didn't put the toys away. etc. I answer the important question, I do. But, alas it does get old.
If the why is in defiance though, straight to the naughty chair.

[My3cents]

I feel the most annoying questions are those asked, but the child that doesn't listen to the answer- drives me batty. I will go into an explanation and the child's mind wanders off to something else or takes off while your telling them, only to come back two seconds later with the same question rephrased a different way or the same.

and.... I know sometimes it can't be helped. They are processing so much information at such a fast rate it just happens.

[Heidi]

I will clarify by saying that I ignore the "why" questions under the following circumstances...

1. child is asking so many questions and seeking excessive attention to the detriment of the rest of their day. They should be playing, eating, napping, following the rest of the routine....not following the provider around with a barrage of questions. Sometimes the best thing for them is to redirect them to what they should be doing, instead of encouraging more questions by answering the ones they already had.

2. child is showing rude or aggressive behavior in their quest for answers to the questions....such as shushing other kids, pushing other kids to get closer to the provider, etc. at this point, I would remind a child that we do not treat others that way and that we cannot ask questions if we are being rude to others.

3. child is asking questions about things that are not their business. This is especially true of preschool age or school age kids that think they are in charge. They dont have the right to know the answer to any question they ask especially if they are using it as a way to tattle on others, boss others around, or question authority....I am assuming we all know what I am talking about here!

4. child is asking the same question over and over and not concerned with the answer or not accepting the answer you give them. sometimes non verbal communication is the only answer they will accept. For example, "why do I have to take a nap?", provider answers this several times and child does not give up, provider tucks child into bed and no longer answers the questions but responds with "nap time" and proceeds to turn off the lights or whatever to show the child the answer to their question....basically that asking a question does not mean that you dont have to do something.

So with that in mind, I stick by my statement that yes, I do ignore some questions. Just because a child is putting something in question form does not mean that the intention is curiousity or that ignoring the verbal onslaught is inappropriate.

I agree with both you and BlackCat. It may seem like opposite answers, but I think, like you said, it depends on the situation.

Ask me why the sky is blue...we'll find out. Ask me why the birds are making so much noise...we'll find out. Why is it snowing? I don't know...let's look it up.

Ask me who I'm on the phone with (while I'm talking) after I've told you (kindly) that Miss Heidi's conversations are priivate (none of your beeswax! ), or ask me just to get in between a conversation I am having with someone else ...then no, we are not going to study it. We are going to hear "GO PLAY!"