Can't Stand Her Lack of Manners

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

I don't think I can handle much more of this mom that has the 4 year old boy that I watch. I honestly think she is oblivious to her lack of manners.

To recap...this is the mom that allowed her 4 year old son in her running car (drivers seat) like it was no big deal while she was inside my doorway...the one that walks in without knocking, dropped her son off twice without knowing where I was (she showed up early one time, late the other and I was busy in another room not visible to her), and shows up past my closing time a lot (and didn't seem to expect a late fee last week as she showed up with only the normal fee on payday).

This mom seems to have the blandest personality and I don't know if she realizes it, but to me it comes across as rude. First I don't agree with the no knocking thing she does...second, her communication is horrible, she never lets me know if she's going to be late at pick up...and the one that tops the cake for me is most every pick up she NEVER says goodbye or thank you or we will see you tomorrow.

Today we were in the back yard playing when she picked up...she talked to her son and the next thing I know she already walked away without saying a word to me and she left. Didn't even ask how his day was..NOTHING. Like she doesn't care. The boy struggles with listening and following rules and I made her aware when he first started coming to me but it seems to go over her head...last Thursday the boy ran my 4 year old daughter over with my double stroller in the driveway and she cut her knee and ankle open, I told his mom about it and she asked if he said he was sorry but never once did she appologize for her son's actions. I was deterbed because I told the boy a zillion times over NOT to push my stroller (because I had my other daycare boy in it!!, at the time I was destracted with another parent picking up).

I just can't take her rudeness...especially when she leaves without saying anything to me...makes me feel like all I do for/with him is dog dirt to her. I don't really "need" the income I get from this mom. It's nice to have that extra, but I'm thinking it's not worth my stress I feel with this mom. I'm going to finish out this week and get my pay and most likely call it quits with her. I feel bad for doing it on a short notice, but I don't think I would feel comfortable telling her I'm terminating and continuing another 2 weeks.

[QualiTcare]

do you greet her when she walks in and say goodbye to HER (not just him) when they leave?

my kids went to a daycare that had a lot of employees and i'd say about half of them wouldn't say a WORD when i'd drop off or pick up. i thought it was super weird. i think the provider should be the one to greet the parents and say goodbye. for the ones that didn't, i was under the impression that they didn't want to be spoken to. my husband and i talked about a couple of the women that never said anything because it was just awkward. i would be the one to say, "okay, ______ , tell your teacher bye!" and then they'd usually say bye to my kid, but not me. anyhow, they should've been the ones saying goodbye to both of us without a prompt.

maybe since this family annoys you, you don't even realize that you're not greeting them? i could be wrong, i'm just asking cus i always see it from both sides since i've been there. i know when i saw a kid coming that i dreaded - the last thing i wanted to do was smile and say, "GOOD MOOORNING!"

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

do you greet her when she walks in and say goodbye to HER (not just him) when they leave?

Most days yes and she's still quiet and doesn't say anything most of the time. Yesterday at pick up I didn't say goodbye because I was busy with the other kids on the playset and she walked away before I had a chance. I'm always polite to my parents, even if I'm annoyed. I feel it's the right thing to do.

Even my mother, who is the easy going with everyone, said she comes across rude with her lack of communication. My mother lives just next door to me and was over here one day last week when she was picking up and she spoke to the mother telling her that her son liked something and she didn't say anything back to my mom. That offends me too because my mom is sweet as pie. I happened to see her facebook wall and she doesn't seem like her silence is shyness...I could be wrong but she swears on there and is bold...I know you can't always tell by that, but gives me a general idea of a persons persona.

Oh well, I don't expect everyone to understand as you can't be here to see it...just venting I guess. I know what I need to do.

[jenh171]

This sounds to me like a power trip...as if she's on a little power trip and acting superior (aka-rude) b/c she feels as if someone is "working" for her. And in my mind it's a glaring sign of insecurity when people act that way, because they have some NEED to feel superior...do you know what I mean? I would just let it go, take it as a sign of weakness, and do all you can to model good manners and values for her son. I know it's easier said than done, but try killing her with kindness!

[jen]

Ewww, I guess I feel totally differently about this one. It isn't just that Mom is rude and annoying, the kid doesn't listen either. If you don't need the income and they are this bothersome, I would just terminate. It will make the whole rest of your day much brighter!!!

[nannyde]

Quiet day care parents are my favorite ::

I wouldn't be bothered by this as long as she ponied up on pay day and picked up / dropped off on time.

If she's hateful when you DO have to talk to her then that's a problem. I can live without good manners as long as they come to attention and behave when I have to discuss a problem with them.

Talk to yourself all the way to the bank and don't give her any nevermind.

[Golden Rule]

I have had something similar and the felt the way you do. The difference was I was the one being a pill . I did not know, I swear.

I am from the deep south, we wink, smile, say hello to everyone we make eye contact with.... I have been known to grab your hand in both of mine and jump up and down when you tell me some really awesome news..... I cannot tell you why, it is a reflx, I swear!!!! :: I am just generally happy/perky and this can be annoying to more quiet/refined? women.

When I finally just asked if I had done something to offend her as I felt tension/awkwardness (she had been here almost 30 days by then)...she equated my morning perkiness (I was up 3.5 hours before she got here every day) to "nails on a chalkboard" (whisperring to her shoes). After I could stop laughing, I promised to limit all discussion until afternoon..... She even laughed, finally made eye contact and seemed to "come out of her shell" a bit after that. (even helped decorate Easter eggs and hide them with the dc kids and I) I had her and her son for 4 years.....

It may simply be who she is, not something she is doing....Does that make sense?

[jen]

I could be wrong, but I'm guessing that rude mom would be tolerable if the child was a better fit. For me anyway, if the kid is a problem I'd better be loving Mom and Dad. If I don't particularily care for the parents, and the child is difficult, I tend to get those "I'm done" feelings.

[momofboys]

I have a different take on this. I tend to be shy at least until I get to know people. I have been known to only say things when it is really important! could it be that she is just shy in person? Her online persona of course could be very different. Maybe she thinks you are too busy to give a proper good-bye. I personally would not be offended although I think she would ask how his day was.

[momma2girls]

This bothers me also. I try and try to teach good manners and respect here as well. What really bothers me is when you have parents that are not thankful whatsoever!!!! I have had probably 5 sets of parents in the yrs. of doing daycare, that don't even say thank you for anything- a birthday party and present for their child, nice Xmas presents every yr. for their child- not even a thank you, a card, nothing!!!! THat totally bothers me!!!!! WHen my oldest and middle child was in daycare- I gave xmas presents, I even found out when the daycare provider's birthday was, and gave a birthday present to her as well. I always did nice gesters, brought snacks some days, etc......

[originalkat]

Quiet day care parents are my favorite ::

Talk to yourself all the way to the bank and don't give her any nevermind.

THAT IS HILARIOUS!!!! EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING.

No, but really...you have had numerous problems with this family and you two obviously don't "click". If you don't need the income I would get rid of her.

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

THAT IS HILARIOUS!!!! EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING.

No, but really...you have had numerous problems with this family and you two obviously don't "click". If you don't need the income I would get rid of her.

You're right...I don't mean to be such a downer...seems like all my posts lately are complaining about her....I don't mean to sound so negative, this is just a great place for me to "let it all out", know what I mean? I don't think I click with her and her morals...I know business is business and differences should be set aside, but feeling it's best to part ways rather than crabbing about it. Just giving myself a little lecture here.

I have great families that I LOVE to work with...my 19 month daycare boy is a handful and hits/throws...but I LOVE his mother and her kindness and concern for the other kids and that's what it's all about to me, plus her consistancy in picking up and communication....makes it so worth it to me....kids will be kids and do bad things and not listen and I understand that, I have 4 children of my own, each with different personalities....when I have a parent that just doesn't seem to care is the downer for me.

[jen]

You're right...I don't mean to be such a downer...seems like all my posts lately are complaining about her....I don't mean to sound so negative, this is just a great place for me to "let it all out", know what I mean? I don't think I click with her and her morals...I know business is business and differences should be set aside, but feeling it's best to part ways rather than crabbing about it. Just giving myself a little lecture here.

I have great families that I LOVE to work with...my 19 month daycare boy is a handful and hits/throws...but I LOVE his mother and her kindness and concern for the other kids and that's what it's all about to me, plus her consistancy in picking up and communication....makes it so worth it to me....kids will be kids and do bad things and not listen and I understand that, I have 4 children of my own, each with different personalities....when I have a parent that just doesn't seem to care is the downer for me.

Some families are just not a good fit....and life is to short to stress if you don't absolutely have to!

[QualiTcare]

Most days yes and she's still quiet and doesn't say anything most of the time. Yesterday at pick up I didn't say goodbye because I was busy with the other kids on the playset and she walked away before I had a chance. I'm always polite to my parents, even if I'm annoyed. I feel it's the right thing to do.

Even my mother, who is the easy going with everyone, said she comes across rude with her lack of communication. My mother lives just next door to me and was over here one day last week when she was picking up and she spoke to the mother telling her that her son liked something and she didn't say anything back to my mom. That offends me too because my mom is sweet as pie. I happened to see her facebook wall and she doesn't seem like her silence is shyness...I could be wrong but she swears on there and is bold...I know you can't always tell by that, but gives me a general idea of a persons persona.

Oh well, I don't expect everyone to understand as you can't be here to see it...just venting I guess. I know what I need to do.

Some people are like that - my own mother is one of those people. We have totally opposite personalities and don't really get along. You know how when you go through a drive thru or something, the worker will say, "thanks. have a good day" or something like that? my mom will say NOTHING back! she doesn't get into any type of conversation with waiters/waitresses, but she is NOT shy when it comes to talking about people or saying what she thinks to people she knows. Sounds like the mom ur talking about (with the FB page). It's really weird and hard to understand - I wouldn't take it personally. my mom is embarrassing when she does it - luckily we aren't together much, but she REALLY is oblivious even though i've told her it's rude. i'd assume your dc mom is oblivious - it's just her personality or lack of.

[Veggie Mom]

Some families are just not a good fit....and life is to short to stress if you don't absolutely have to!

my thoughts too