When Should Kids Wipe Own Bottom?

[kansasmom85]

cold mean people

Wow. Many of you expressed some pretty cold feelings on this topic. The story of the mother not helping their daughter...what is wrong with you people??? No wonder children are mean these days.

Love, nurture and HELP your child. (Not to mention its completely unhealthy and neglectful to let children walk around with feces all over their ASS!) You "daycare" people should have your licenses revoked.

[Josiegirl]

Wowsa, Kansas, that's a bit strong. Don't you realize the fear "daycare" people have about privacy issues and touching private parts??? There have been so many false claims against perfectly great providers due to misunderstandings. It causes a provider's world to be turned upside down, not to mention loss of income plus reputation because you betta believe once it gets whispered about town a provider is being investigated, that provider will more than likely be talked about the rest of their days. You know how gossip and rumors fly around.

Now, with that being said, even though this thread is a million years old(or 2 years old) I either wipe if they ask or check after they've done it. I'd be leery about sending a child home with a dirty bottom because parents will certainly see that. Plus some children's bottoms do become irritated in just a short while.

[Evansmom]

Old post from 2012

Probably a troll.

[Unregistered]

Bottom wiping

I found out in June of last year that I had a 10 yr old son. I dated his mother for about 5 months. The story was that she was barren due to complications as a teenager. We never used protection. I went to visit her one day and she had vanished. 11 years later, I got a text.
After meeting my son with his mother for a few weeks, we had our first weekend together. After a couple weekends, I noticed that he never had a bowel movement while he was with me. On our return trip back to his mother's on Sundays he would complain of belly-aches. I told him that my stomach would hurt too if I ate all weekend but never pooped. This conversation made him extremely nervous. I asked his mother if he had any trouble in that department and she replied"No, why?"
The next weekend I encouraged him to go several times and he would not, citing that he did not have the urge. As he was constantly filling the air with fumes. When we met at a coffee shop with his mom, he immediately ran to the bathroom there and managed to stop up and overflow the toilet at starbucks. It was obvious to me, that she had wanted to follow him in to the bathroom, but did not want to give herself away.
I discussed this with her and she stated that he would only use the bathroom with her because he did not know how to do it himself. I inquired whether or not her Mom was aware of this, as my son spends much time and many nights with her. She admitted that her mother was unaware that she was still wiping my sons rear end at nearly 11 years old. I demanded of her that she never wipe him again.
She let him try that week, but said he was just too gross about it. The next weekend, I taught my son how to wipe his own bottom. He asserts that she had never let him. It became obvious to me as well, that he was only defecating a couple times a week. Presumably, because of the humiliation that he was feeling at having his mother do this. I feel it is worth mentioning that when I met him, he was still wearing diapers at night, complete with diaper rash. He was wetting the bed 4 or more times a week. He has never spent the night with a friend, and when he had a slight boo boo, or was upset, he would ball his face up, fall to the ground limp and squall like an infant. (complete with murderous screams and hyperventilation)
The first time I saw this behavior, I said "get up from there", that is not going to work." He immediately stopped, grinned and stood up.
Within a month, my son was having bowel movements twice a day. Knows all about the bristow poop chart, has no skid marks, wakes up at night and uses the bathroom rather than wetting a daiper, is free of diaper rash, and is now confident enough to stay over at a friends house. He does not scream and cry, but rather uses his vocabulary to express his feelings.
No doubt in my mind, that any woman that is doing this, is just not willing to do right by a child that will someday soon be expected to act as an adult. All of these things are due to her own selfish wants.
For the sake of the children, if you see or pick up on something like this, please contact CPS.

Yes, I am seeking full custody, with only supervised visits for her.

Thanks for an opportunity to share my story, as most of these blogs are reserved for women only.

New Dad

[Starburst]

It depends on the child, I watch an autistic 12 year old boy who still can't tie his shoes and still needs help wiping, thought his mother and I both think he can do a lot more then he let's on. There was once or twice he didn't ask for help in the bathroom (not sure how well he wiped) but recently he's started asking for help again (a lot of his behavior is inconsistent and his mom keeps changing his meds). But I recentlydiscovered he's been trying to trick me into feed him so I might try to work more on self-help skills with him.

To Unregistered New Dad: this forum isn't reserved for women only, it's mostly for childcare providers of any gender (women just so happen to dominate this field).

[kendallina]

Once they are 4 years old, I talk with the parents about it and let them know that it's time to start encouraging them to try at home and here. It's not easy for them, though and I often help for a few months. After a while, they don't want me to help.

[Josiegirl]

Another old post But always an issue. I help until they no longer need it.
My older 4 yo does great, she just informed me last week to not come in anymore, she can do it. I told her I'd need to check just to make sure. And she's fine. My other 4 yo is a messy pooper and when she does try, she gets it all over the place. ALL over. Ugh....Needless to say she gets help.