What Do I Do For Backup?

[SunshineMama]

Ok I don't know what to do.

I just told all of my daycare parents that I am pregnant, and that nothing will really change, except that I will close when the baby is born and my backup person, my best friend, will be here to cover my appointments. Well, my friend watched the kids for 2 appointments. I gave her a list of 3 upcoming appointments. The first one she said she can't do. The other two, she said she would have to check with her husband. She is a SAHM, and her husband Is a teacher, so they get to spend all summer together. When she lost her job and became a SAHM, she said she needed to come over at least 2 times a week so her daughter can socialize. Now she has met a bunch of neighbors for play dates and doesn't "need" me and my daycare kids as playmates. Her times coming over are fewer and fewer. She agreed to be my backup person, but I feel like if she has to ask her husband every time, I am going to end up screwed. I don't know what to do. I kept reassuring my dcps that I would be available. I cannot afford to lose any families. What do I do?

[Lilbutterflie]

I would suggest telling all of your parents that your backup was not available for one of your appointments, and give them advance notice of closing for it. Don't feel bad- they get to take time off work to see the doctor & you should not feel guilty for doing the same! They should understand.

As for the other two that she has to discuss with her DH, just wait to hear her answer. Are you compensating her in any way? Perhaps that would change her story!

[Country Kids]

Is there any way you could possibly move your appts. to be the last one of the day? You might do this each time and then you wouldn't have to close for that long or she wouldn't have to come over either for that long.

[SunshineMama]

Is there any way you could possibly move your appts. to be the last one of the day? You might do this each time and then you wouldn't have to close for that long or she wouldn't have to come over either for that long.

I have all of my appointments scheduled for the last of the day. I also offered compensation, which she turned down, and offered to watch her kids whenever, but that's less enticing to her now that her Dh is off. Maybe I am freaking out too early, I just don't like feeling like my doctors appointments are at her mercy.

[HaveaHoot]

I am having a high risk pregnancy and have been blessed with tons of appointments. I either schedule my appointments on nights and weekends or I pay my sahm friend to watch my dcks. I am always stressed that her daughter will get sick and I will miss these really important appointments. I'm considering going on care dot com and putting an add for a back up to my back up. My dh also said he would cover for me which I would pay to see him handle all those kids.

I would suggest having a heart to heart with your friend about why you need her. Maybe she needs to understand why it's a big deal to you. Overall I understand how you feel! One more thing to worry about as if pregnancy alone weren't stressful.

[cheerfuldom]

If she doesnt want to do it anymore, then just leave it alone. She doesnt HAVE to do it just because she is your friend or just because originally it was working out.

Is there ANYONE else who can do this for you or who you trust to hire for the next few months as needed?

[abigailrw5]

My husband covers my appointments because I'm pregnant. His work is flexible and he works from home once a week. I make my appt the first ones of the day. I live really close to the hospital which helps too. I have had a couple ultrasounds that I want him to be there so I'm closing early.

[Abigail]

I was relying on my MIL to help out during the summer but turns out she got a summer job so I don't want to have her over at all now. My husband is able to watch the kids for a few hours at a time now which he has done it for a dentist appointment DURING NAP TIME and ALL the kids except one baby were sleeping until I got home, what a dream world for him!!! Then again for half hour while I had to turn in daycare paperwork for expanding.

I currently only have my husband as my helper or sub but I don't want to leave him alone for long because we don't have kids of our own and his only experience is limited right now and he doesn't do diapers so 2 hours is my limit. LOL. I am expanding soon and will need to hire someone, ok, I WANT to hire someone even though I wouldn't be over ratio just because I feel all alone in trying to have backup.

My thoughts for you would be to advertise for a fill-in or see if you have family around. Will you be closing the day you go into labor or how does that all pan out? You might lose families if you're going to be closed more than 2 weeks or anything like that. It's just too hard for parents to continually find care especially if they don't plan.

[Former Teacher]

Ok I don't know what to do.

I just told all of my daycare parents that I am pregnant, and that nothing will really change, except that I will close when the baby is born and my backup person, my best friend, will be here to cover my appointments. Well, my friend watched the kids for 2 appointments. I gave her a list of 3 upcoming appointments. The first one she said she can't do. The other two, she said she would have to check with her husband. She is a SAHM, and her husband Is a teacher, so they get to spend all summer together. When she lost her job and became a SAHM, she said she needed to come over at least 2 times a week so her daughter can socialize. Now she has met a bunch of neighbors for play dates and doesn't "need" me and my daycare kids as playmates. Her times coming over are fewer and fewer. She agreed to be my backup person, but I feel like if she has to ask her husband every time, I am going to end up screwed. I don't know what to do. I kept reassuring my dcps that I would be available. I cannot afford to lose any families. What do I do?

Maybe I am reading this wrong-it is early in the morning here ::- but maybe your friend is finding excuses of not wanting to do it anymore.

Your friend already watched the kiddos twice. Then all of a sudden, shes not coming around as much, she has other playmates etc. Perhaps you could ask her how things REALLY went the first 2 times.

Then again maybe she just wants to spend time with her husband since they are both home. Regardless, I hope things turn out for you!

[snowball]

Can't the parents find their own back up? I would think if you gave them enough notice that it should be on THEM not on you.

[cheerfuldom]

Can't the parents find their own back up? I would think if you gave them enough notice that it should be on THEM not on you.

well not exactly...depends on how the contract is worded. and either way, if you take off a lot of time due to pregnancy related issues and appointments, parents may start losing confidence in your ability to handle your job well. Even if you CAN take time of, it still isnt always easy to do. For me, I have been through three healthy pregnancies, I personally would just skip an appointment if it was a huge problem for the parents. That is just my own personal opinion, I am not suggesting any one do this. I am just saying that I know how hard it is to juggle kids, pregnancy, jobs, and no reliable help. I have an amazing assistant right now but I went thru three awful ones to get to her. One person quit after one shift!