What Would You Do???

[tenderhearts]

I know this post was on here a while ago but I couldn't seem to find it. I have a dcb who is 5, he's been with me since he was 10 mo. old. He has eaten toast at my house a million times. I always ask him when he gets here if he wants breakfast or not because dad some times gives it to him before he comes. So today I asked if he wanted toast, he said yes, so I made it for him, he at like only a quarter of it and licked the peanut butter off and said he was done, well I said sorry you asked for it you need to at at least half of it, that's wasting food, he screamed at me no I dont' want it (a seperate issue with this boy) but I said sorry you asked for you need to sit there until you're done. So he literally sat there for 30 min. and all the while telling him a few times that he needs to finish it, well he finally did but what do others do in this situation? I mean I know "toast" isn't expensive or the bread rather but he asked for it and it's not like he doesn't like it, normally if it's something new i at least have them try it and I'm fine if they don't like it but I know he likes it. I felt bad inside making him sit there but he would have got up and then expected snack at snack time (which obviously I would give him) but I felt like he needs to learn that you can't just waste food. So sorry I posted this topic again.

[gbcc]

I choose my battles on this one. If he does this often then yes, I make them finish it. I only make them sit there for 15 minutes, after that they may get down but the meal is saved until the next meal time. If it's the first time I tell them I am not happy they are wasting food and they wont be able to again.

[DBug]

I don't ask them. If kids are here for meal/snack times (even if there's a chance they just ate at home), I put the food in front of them, because everybody sits to eat at the same time.

However, I also only give tiny portions of things (they can always have seconds), but if there's any waste, I have to ignore it. This is one of those things that could really stress me out, and did when my kids were little. I had to (and still have to) make a huge effort to not even think about how much food is wasted. It can always be composted and then it's not completely wasted :: And besides, there are kids who will realize that eating is something they have complete control over, and that can open a whole new can of worms!

Think of it as a cost of running the business. But for next time, why not just give him a half or quarter of the slice of toast? If he finishes it and wants more, he can have seconds or thirds. If he doesn't, someone else can eat it.

[MarinaVanessa]

I don't ask either. I have breakfast, morning snack, lunch and afternoon snack at certain times and only serve food at those times whether they've eaten or not. If they are here during these times they get food. It's up to them whether they want to eat it or not. I'm on the food program but I did this even before I signed up for it. I meet the USDA standards for children in nutritional standards so I don't serve some children less necause they are finicky just like I don't offer my good eaters more if they want more. I make enough for each child and if they are still hungry I'll offer them fruit. It is sad that there is a lot of waste but if you keep track of what you're serving and save receipts (if not on food program) or if you are on a food program It gets reimbursed so financially at least it's not so bad.

[tenderhearts]

Thanks, I only do that for breakfast with this one child, because I have them all arrive different times I just serve breakfast in 2 different sittings. So some days I serve it once then others I serve it twice, only because I have to make breakfast for my kids before school so whoever is already here eat that first sitting then anyone who gets here after that by 8:30 eat in the second sitting. It's kind of hard to just toast a half peice of bread. I know that food is wasted, I waste alot at lunch, not all the time, its frustrating but I've learned to get used to it. However HE asked for it and wanted it and literally after I put it in front of him and he licked it in a matter of one minute he said he didn't want it, he's old enough to know better, I can see a 2 yr old but a 5 1/2 yr old???

[JJPlaycare]

I have gone through this way to many times! I now ALWAYS make sure to ask the PARENT if the child ate at home!! If they ate at home they can wait until the next snack/meal because 9 times out of 10 they are going to want the food, but not eat it! I got sick of throwing so much food away (especially breakfast) that I now ALWAYS ask if the child ate anything at home before comming to daycare!!

On the flip side if the parent says no they didn't eat anything before daycare and then the child still doesn't eat, I don't make it a big deal. I guess they just aren't hungry in which I toss the food away!!

I also listen to what and how much they ate before daycare! I have a mom that once and awhile gives her child dry cheerios while she gets ready in the am, well that is fun, but then I usually only expect the child to eat half or her breakfast at my house and only give her what I think she will eat! She can ALWAYS have more!! : )

Hope this helps!! Now if a child completely does not eat lunch, then I say that is fine, but this is what you are going to eat at snack time and I save their lunch! : ) All of my daycare kids know I am not joking and they usually eat pretty good, but there are still those days where maybe they are just not hungry at meal time, which is fine, but I am still going to give them the nutritional meal instead of a snack at snack time!!

[tenderhearts]

Thanks, this dad usually always says if he had breakfast or not, that's why either way I ask this boy if he wants breakfast, about 99% of the time says yes and he always asks what it is before he makes his decision too. That's why I was frustrated that he wanted the toast and then didn't eat it, I could see if I did something different or if it was something new but he's had this a million times, he was REALLY hungry and morning snack and he wanted more but snack is snack not a meal so he was even hungrier at lunch, I reminded him at snack that he didn't eat his breakfast and that maybe he should eat more that way he's not so hungry at snack.

[MarinaVanessa]

Good for you. If this isn't a regular thing with this child and he usually does eat when he says that he wants it then he probably just got distracted and was eager to go play than to finish his meal. By what you told him he'll probably think twice before he does that again .

[professionalmom]

Kids that are picky or refuse to eat are frustrating and I have had my share of them. As I tell the kids and the parents, I am not a short-order cook. I try to give the kids choices (i.e, cheese crackers or graham crackers) when I can, but that is not always possible. As for a child that refuses to eat, I think it depends on the situation. If it's rare, then I would let it go. (Pick your battles) If it's a regular occurrence (like one DCB I had), I have them sit there for a time "reasonable for the age". But you just can't force kids to eat. Like my food program rep said, "you can lead them to food, but you can't make them eat. If you are serving a balanced meal, you have done your job."
Plus, we have to consider that there may be other forces at work, such as illness coming on, not a growth spurt time, emotional issues going on, etc. I'm sure all of us went through a picky time when we were little and even as adults we have times when we just aren't as hungry.
Just try not to think of the wasted food, money, etc. Trust me, we are all thinking the same thing as we dump it in the garbage - there are starving kids out there and here I am throwing food away!

[MarinaVanessa]

"you can lead them to food, but you can't make them eat. If you are serving a balanced meal, you have done your job."

This is what I was told also by my food program and I believe it 100%. It's too hard for me to shadow each child and make sure that they all ate. We can't force them to eat, all we can do is provide.

[momma2girls]

I have gone through this way to many times! I now ALWAYS make sure to ask the PARENT if the child ate at home!! If they ate at home they can wait until the next snack/meal because 9 times out of 10 they are going to want the food, but not eat it! I got sick of throwing so much food away (especially breakfast) that I now ALWAYS ask if the child ate anything at home before comming to daycare!!

On the flip side if the parent says no they didn't eat anything before daycare and then the child still doesn't eat, I don't make it a big deal. I guess they just aren't hungry in which I toss the food away!!

I also listen to what and how much they ate before daycare! I have a mom that once and awhile gives her child dry cheerios while she gets ready in the am, well that is fun, but then I usually only expect the child to eat half or her breakfast at my house and only give her what I think she will eat! She can ALWAYS have more!! : )

Hope this helps!! Now if a child completely does not eat lunch, then I say that is fine, but this is what you are going to eat at snack time and I save their lunch! : ) All of my daycare kids know I am not joking and they usually eat pretty good, but there are still those days where maybe they are just not hungry at meal time, which is fine, but I am still going to give them the nutritional meal instead of a snack at snack time!!

THis is the main reason I went away from doing breakfast at all. I am so busy with trying to get my children out the door for school. The children would eat at home and waste my food here. I have an am snack around 9:00-9:30 and we eat dinner at 11:00-11:30. In addition to everything else, I have parents coming thru to drop children off, and 2 babies that need fed!! UGHHH!!!! I am so busy every am between 7:30-9:00am!!!

[Childminder]

IMO, because the child is 5 and because he asked for the toast, I would put saran over it and tell him that the toast will be available for his snack if he won't eat it now. I would make sure the rest of the children had a super yummy favorite of the boys, snack/meal and make a BIG deal about how yummy it is and too bad he can't have any until he finishes his toast. Yep, works for me.

[nannyde]

I could give a flyin flip about whether kids eat or not. I would have tossed the toast in the garbage and had him go play. Next time he would get an eigth of a piece of bread with a two dropperfuls of peanut butter.

Seriously kids have radar for adults wanting them to eat. I have the world's bestest eaters here because I do not CARE whether they eat or not. These guys will eat ANYTHING. They love food. I make super nutritious home made food and they gobble it down. I don't throw away a tablespoon of food a day.

If I get an older kid in (which rarely happens) and they have already been contaminated with the "eat honey" approach I just plop the food in front of them day after day and say NOTHING Put them on the IGNORE button for a couple of weeks and soon enough... chowmation with dedication.

[misol]

I could give a flyin flip about whether kids eat or not. I would have tossed the toast in the garbage and had him go play. Next time he would get an eigth of a piece of bread with a two dropperfuls of peanut butter.

Seriously kids have radar for adults wanting them to eat. I have the world's bestest eaters here because I do not CARE whether they eat or not. These guys will eat ANYTHING. They love food. I make super nutritious home made food and they gobble it down. I don't throw away a tablespoon of food a day.

If I get an older kid in (which rarely happens) and they have already been contaminated with the "eat honey" approach I just plop the food in front of them day after day and say NOTHING Put them on the IGNORE button for a couple of weeks and soon enough... chowmation with dedication.

I am getting much better at pretending not to care whether they eat it or not but it's soooo hard

How do you handle the kids that eat some food items but not others and then ask for seconds? I have a 3 yr old dcb that only eats bread and fruit and doesn't "like" anything else. He always gobbles his fruit down and then asks for more without so much as looking at anything else on the plate. I usually tell him that if he is still hungry then he can eat the rest of the food on his plate and if still hungry after that THEN he can have more fruit. This results in a tantrum 100% of the time and I just calmly tell him that lunch is over for him, remove him from the table and start getting him ready for nap.

Is this the right approach? I usually feel slightly guilty because I am thinking that he is still hungry. On the other hand, he chooses not to eat what is put before him and I know that he won't starve between lunch and PM snack.

[Janet]

Battles over food

Like Nan, I don't really care whether or not a child eats the food he/she is offered. I know it may sound kind of mean, but it's really not. The children are given the food and they can choose to eat it or refuse it, but if they refuse it, then no more food is offered until the next meal or snack time. I don't get attached to the outcome. If a child refuses to eat, then it's their tummies that will be rumbling when the other kids have full tummies. It's a lesson in making choices and dealing with the consequences.