Drunk at Pick-Up Time

[Pammie]

...no not me.

One of my newer dc dads has been showing up at pick-up time, I've suspected after at least a few drinks on a few occasions...I've never said anything. But yesterday, my husband was home and working in the front yard and met this dad for the first time and they chatted a bit. After dad and dcb left, my husband comes in and asks me what I was thinking letting the boy leave with his dad in the condition that dad was in?! So it hasn't just been my imagination thinking dad hasn't been sober every day. BTW, my husband manages a restaurant/bar and can spot an un-sober person a mile away

But, according to a good friend of mine on the local police force, as well as my insurance rep that I called last nite, I can't legally NOT release the boy to his dad. The best they suggest is releasing the boy, and then calling the pd and reporting a drunk driver. So okay, legally, I can't stop a parent from driving their kids home from daycare when they're drunk...but morally?? My thought is to discuss the issue with dcmom...ideas...suggestions??

Does anyone have a clause in their contract about parents being sober when they pick-up their kids??

It kills me that after 23 years of doing daycare and thinking that I've seen everything, now I have to deal with this So sad.

[nannyde]

I could care less about the law. I've had this happen once and I told the parent to bugger off and come back when they weren't drunk. Go home... sleep it off.. and then come back. I had her kids until noon the next day (Saturday) and then I terminated them.

Just tell him he can't pick his kids up if he has been drinking. If he does it again you will call the police. If you smell a whiff of alcohol on him or he appears even SLIGHTLY intoxicated you will call. Be firm.

I'd be hateful about it but that's just me. I've learned to not be nice when situations like this happen. I don't like it and I'm going to be happy to tell them I don't. I don't need a dead kid on my conscience for the rest of my life. NO thanks.

[hawkfan428]

That's been a rule in every daycare I've worked at. You cannot legally keep a child from their parent if they are drunk. You can request that you call someone else to pick them up, but if they say 'No" you have to let them go. And then call the police.

I think it's terrible. I told my husband that rule one night and he was outraged. What kind of world do we live in?

[Vesta]

I have it in my policy that if parents or authorized pick up person comes to retrieve child in an "altered state" that I will call the emergency pickup immediately and make my way down the list if needed. If they choose to leave with the child after I have questioned their condition, I will call the police.
It's part of my handbook/contract that I explain and have parents initial beside. My DCFS lady liked it and explained that I couldn't keep a child from their parents, but it was a way out for them and they know what will happen from the get go.
I've never had to use it though, so I don't know how well it would work out.

I did decline services to someone who was calling, and calling, and calling, and was obviously inebriated the first and last time she called. I honestly think she might have been forgetting that we turned her down.

[emosks]

I agree how crazy of a rule it is. I would for sure contact your licensing consultant (if you are licensed) or the state to see what your state laws are. For sure call the police and report him as a drunk driver not only for the safety of the child but everyone else on the road!

[Daycare Mommy]

Haven't had this one yet, thank God! I'm with nannyde on this one though. Legal or not I'd refuse to release him, call emergency contacts to pick up, keep the child as long as it takes to get a sober ride, and then probably terminate. What's the dad going to do? Call the police?

[sahm2three]

This is what my contract says regarding drinking being suspected at pick up time:

"If I smell alcohol on the breath of the person picking up the child I will call someone else to come and pick up the child or a cab (which you will pay for). If you leave with the child, I will call 911 to have someone pull the car over. (I am required by law to do something). The safety of the children comes first in this situation. "

[jen]

I've had this situation as well...except Dad was high as a kite.

I called Mom and told her that if I even suspected that Dad was high again, I would call the police. And I would have. It is illegal to keep a child from his parent. The only thing you can do is dial 911.

[momofboys]

Wow!!! I would definitely talk with the mom about your concerns. I have not dealt with this before so I don't know how I would react but those kids' lives could be in danger. Sad!

[grandmom]

There's a technical word for us keeping the child from the parent - even in a drunken state - it's called kidnapping. We have no legal right to keep a child from their parent. All we can do is plead with the parent to leave them here and find a ride home, make the calls to alternates, and call 911.

We all should have something in our policy about this. So the parents know what to expect.

[Childminder]

I have had this situation before. Mom was a bar waitress and would show up at 4am drunk to pickup dcb. I very nicely but firmly told her she was welcome to sleep it off on my couch or I had to call and report a drunk driver/child endangerment issue to the police. She chose to sleep it off on my couch. Two other times she slept it off in her van in my driveway. At least the child was safe. She now longer brings her child here, she was in an accident on the way home from work and has become disabled, living back at home with her parents raising the boy.

[misol]

This is a sad and dangerous situation. My handbook states the following:

"If anyone picking up your child appears to be under the influence of alcohol or drugs, another authorized person will be called to pick up both the child and the intoxicated adult."

I would refuse to release the child even though it's against the law. It's highly unlikely that the drunk parent will call the police to your house considering the condition they are in.

It's going to be tough but I think that you should have a talk with the mom. Expect backlash from the dad though.

Good luck and keep us posted.

[professionalmom]

I agree will the posters that are saying "what's the dad going to do, call the police?" All I can think of is what is the greater harm: upset parents, the possibility of legal action, OR a dead child? Thank GOD I have never been in that situation. However, if your husband is home when this father picks up, have your husband right there when the father comes and have your husband engage the father in conversation to stall while you step into another room (say your looking for the child's sippy cup or something) and call the police. The police will probably come and not do anything right away. But they probably will speak to the father, realize he's intoxicated, then wait for him to start to back away. As soon as his car budges, bam, they've got him for DUI, child endangerment, whatever. And maybe you will be helping the father to realize the danger he is putting his child in and it will be the wake-up call he needs to get into treatment.
Will you lose the client? Probably. But I'd rather lose a client than lose a child.
I'll pray for you and, especially for this father's child.

[Daycare Mommy]

I like the sleep it off on the couch and cab ideas. I'm not going to keep them from their child (unless they are being violent), but if there's anything at all I can do to stop them from getting behind the wheel I'm going to do it. I'll take my chances with them calling the authorities on me. What are they going to do call the cops and try to drive off intoxicated while they are there? They won't get far if the police let him get into the car at all. Sounds like a better scenario to me than calling 911 after they leave and hoping they can find them on the road before they wreck and kill themselves or someone else. I'll take my chances that I'll get into trouble in that situation.

[laundryduchess@yahoo.com]

~ If I suspect the person picking up the child to be under the influence of a substance or otherwise unable to safely transport a child, I will attempt to find an alternate driver through your contact information or by calling someone for you. I cannot by LAW refuse to allow you to pick up your child, but should you or someone you appoint to transport your child choose to drive impaired, I will notify authorities and report the drivers name, and vehicle description. I know some of these rules seem a bit harsh, but remember everything n this document is here for a reason and its my love for the children and my promise to care for them to the best of my ability that makes me do things this way.

...no not me.

One of my newer dc dads has been showing up at pick-up time, I've suspected after at least a few drinks on a few occasions...I've never said anything. But yesterday, my husband was home and working in the front yard and met this dad for the first time and they chatted a bit. After dad and dcb left, my husband comes in and asks me what I was thinking letting the boy leave with his dad in the condition that dad was in?! So it hasn't just been my imagination thinking dad hasn't been sober every day. BTW, my husband manages a restaurant/bar and can spot an un-sober person a mile away

But, according to a good friend of mine on the local police force, as well as my insurance rep that I called last nite, I can't legally NOT release the boy to his dad. The best they suggest is releasing the boy, and then calling the pd and reporting a drunk driver. So okay, legally, I can't stop a parent from driving their kids home from daycare when they're drunk...but morally?? My thought is to discuss the issue with dcmom...ideas...suggestions??

Does anyone have a clause in their contract about parents being sober when they pick-up their kids??

It kills me that after 23 years of doing daycare and thinking that I've seen everything, now I have to deal with this So sad.