Spouse as Assistant?

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Does anybody use their husband as their assistant (either temporarily or permanently)?

I am considering doing so this summer when my husband is on break (school district).
I'm wondering if having a man around might make some parents uncomfortable, though (perhaps that is my ex-employer's paranoia still taking up space in my head). However, he will be around anyways (either full-time or part-time if he decides to get a summer job) whether he assists me or not. Just trying to think this through thoroughly.
All have met my husband and he offered to answer any questions they may have at their Meet and Greets. Financially it would make sense for us, since I would not be paying him.
Hmmmm...

[cheerfuldom]

I know there are a few providers that make a work but as you said, many parents immediately feel uncomfortable with a male caregiver. For me personally, I would never do this. My husband is fully capable but I would rather keep work and family separate because you never know what issues this situation will bring up. He will essentially be working for you and a lot of spouses say they are okay with this but the reality of day to day shows that they arent. I would start out with a discussion with your current parents on how they might feel about this situation. They might all be totally fine with it or you might find that some have a strict "no male caregivers" rule. I have this rule for my kids and it is important enough to me that it is a dealbreaker if I was to put my kids in daycare.

[mom2many]

My husband was able to take early retirement and has been helping me for the past two years now. He is here in the morning and afternoon and watches the little ones, while I do the drop and pick up at school with the older kids. It is such a huge help not having to load everyone into the car for these quick trips!

He doesn't change diapers and is only left in charge for a few minutes each day and the parents have always been totally fine with this.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Surely they figure that my husband and son will be home during the summer since the schools are closed. They know my husband works for the district. They know my son attends school.
:confused:

When they've been home on the 1 day holidays we've had thus far, the children refer to my son as my son and my husband as my daddy. :: The concept of husband is not there.
They tend to spend their holidays relaxing, either in the master bedroom or upstairs. So, while they may do 1 activity with the kids during Centers ... it's not being an assistant by any stretch of the imagination.

[Meeko]

My husband and I worked side by side for years. It was wonderful! Now he takes care of the house etc and runs our daughters all over creation! My son has become my helper at the day care house.. Still wonderful!

Yes, I have had a few people over the years who have turned their nose up at a male caregiver. Their loss. The majority LOVE it. A man to play ball, a man on site for safety. A man to be a positive role model....so many positives!

[Childminder]

My husband is my assistant filling in when I am absent and is also our "recess lady".

[Unregistered]

My husband is semi-retired and is home all summer...he helps out while we are outside mostly just helping keep an eye on the kids or push the smallest one in the stroller or help them on or off the swings, etc. He never changes diapers or does the toileting routine and no one has ever complained or been concerned. The kids call him PaPa and are very fond of him.. I don't pay him but he does get his supper bought for him at whichever restaurant we go to on Sundays..

[cheerfuldom]

As for my husband being home, I never explain to the parents what his schedule is and when he is or is not here. Thats none of their business. He lives here and if they have a problem with that, then this daycare is not the right fit. Occasionally he will go to the park with us or something because his daughters are part of the daycare group. He's around a lot but not doing the hands on care of the daycare kids. Anything outside of that is not the parents business.

[itlw8]

Mine is my substitute... I have a friend her ds took over for a month when she had surgery and now is her assistant The parents have no problem.It is a great example for the kids

I think it is amusing many of thise men did little with the kids when they were this small yet are making great grandpas and assistants. dh still does not do vomit but can do most messy pants.

[Breezy]

My DH is my sub should the need arise.

[Sunchimes]

My husband isn't my official assistant, but he's here much of the time. He is semi-retired but works 3 days a week, unless it rains. If it rains, he can't work. He doesn't really do much in the playroom, but if I need to take a bathroom break, he will stand in the door and make sure no one gets into trouble. The kids love him. They can see him in the living room from the playroom door and they stand there and call for him. If he walks by the door and doesn't stop and talk to them, they cry. None will leave until they have gone into the living room to either hug him or wave at him. One part timer won't let anyone but him put her coat on her. Moms (and dads) are fine with it and wait patiently while the little ones say goodbye.

Since I got the new baby, he has been a lifesaver. Baby is a cryer and hubby has spent many hours rocking him, bouncing him, and giving him a bottle. Doesn't do diapers though, which is fine.

All parents know that if there is an emergency and I have to leave suddenly, he will take over until they can pick up. I wouldn't leave him in charge unless it was an emergency because he doesn't want to, but he's here if I need him.

[Unregistered]

If they are too picky, let them go, if they wish

My significant other is a backup assistant, if my ft assistant is ill or late. He works from home, upstairs, as a computer data base programmer for many companies. He takes most of the classes with me, to support us, as a couple. They should feel comfortable with the criminal history check that's done on family members. My theory is, if the parent clients are that picky about anything, they can choose to go somewhere else.

I relay to the parents he brings safety to a home full of women and children! If there is a crisis, he helps us with a moments notice. I think we're less likely to get a home invasion if he is home? His car is outside our double garage to let everyone know he is home. If I ever feel like I need support, I have him help me.

*If we run out of food, milk or need a pizza, he's there to the rescue!
*If I need stronger arms for difficult tasks, he's there.
*If we need him to pick up an after school-er, he is there.
*If a parent ever gets out of line, or I feel uncomfortable with a client issue, he is there...



My significant other doesn't want to do the direct personal care of the child/children but will help supervise and entertain with children's songs and for my personal UNION breaks. Plan on touring for new parents that will like the idea, ahead of time, to fill that child's spot. (then your ahead) Remember, you can't please everyone... Try to look at all the pro's of what your husband has to offer, rather than that one negative thought. Wrap yourself into a more open minded approach with your parent/clients. Sometimes it's best to let the closed minded people find another place, if they can't see how the benefits out way.

[littlemissmuffet]

My husband is my occasional assistant. He doesn't work FOR me, he works WITH me.

When I do interviews, my clients are informed immediately that my husband is often home and interacts with the children on a regular basis. If they are not comfortable, we are not the daycare for them

[MarinaVanessa]

I always require that both parents and all their children come to the interview and if there's a close relative that helps with child care or will be picking the child up from DC then I encourage that they come too. During the interview I introduce my entire household to the potential clients because they have to feel comfortable with my family being here at any given time during the day. My DH occasionally takes or is given time off of work so he stays home and it's important that if a family feels uncomfortable with my DH hanging around and directly supervising the DC kids then it just simply won't work.

When I have Dr appointments or mandatory trainings that I have to go to that run during DC hours then my DH comes home early or takes the day off and will cover for me while I'm gone for those few hours so everyone that has a say in the family has to like the arrangement. If even one person doesn't feel comfortable with it then it could end up in disaster later KWIM?

I think that you can talk to your families in person and discuss it so that you can get some feedback before you actually have him stay home. If no one fusses abot it great! If you have a couple of concerned parents then you can address those issues individually as they come up to ease their worries. If it ends up that one or a couple of parents don't want your DH to hang out all day during the day at home then you can come up with a solution. That may be having your DH hang out in an a seperate part of the house and avoid contact with the kids, limit the amount of time that your DH spends around the kids or you may even simply want to just replace a DC family that isn't comfortable with it with someone that is. I think that first you should talk to your families before anything else and see what they say. They may not even have an issue with it.

I suppose that it depends on demographics as well. It's common in my area for the DH of the home to spend time with the DC kids at least some of the time and most parents see it as a benefit especially if a parent is a single mom of a DCB. I have mostly DCB's and most of my DCM's are single mothers and they like that their sons get male-to-male interaction.

[MrsB]

My husband is my substitute too. He has quite a few more days off than I do so he is here quite a bit. The DCKs absolutely love him. In fact, I am the rule enforcer so I am sure they like him more! Since he often "forgets" the rules. I always have families meet him at interview and explain that he is my back up. I also explain that licensing requires him to get fingerprinted and go through a back ground check.

Actually I had to have a talk with my hubby the other night about "shootin the moon" with parents at pick up. He will go on and on and on, meanwhile I am peeling the wild banshee child off the ceiling that is trying to get the parents attention. LOL.

Just for the record though, he helps but this is MY business and my rules! Hahaha.