How Long Before You Give in

[daycare]

So I have a DCK here age 4 that showed up in jammies this morning. The parent was told this morning no more.

I told DCK was told that after breakfast you will need to change your clothes. (child arrived right at bk time) DCK has been in the bathroom for almost 25 min scream crying that they cannot and will not put their clothes on. At this age, I will not help them. BUT we need to move on with our day. How long would you let this go on before you go in and assist?

[MsMe]

I don't change clothes.

I have only had a child come in PJ's once or twice and each time they go home that way too (even when they brought clothes to change into)

If it happend more than once with family and I said no more I wouldnt allow them in.

Leave the PJ's on send her homethat way, and don't allow her into care again unless she is dressed for the day.

[makap]

I would not assist and I would call mom to come and pick up as the child is not dressed for our activities and that he/she is refusing to get dressed and is causing a disturbance and it is disruptive to the group. I would tell her that child needs to be dressed and ready for the day everyday.

[daycare]

I have already goofed up and should have sent the child packing at the door or made DCD change clothes in the car.

I have to eat that part of it.. I am not going to call the parent and tell them to come get the child.

[MsMe]

I also wouldn't call the parent. Just send her home the way she came.

One girl came here in princess nightgown (she said she didn't want to get dressed) and we just went on with the day. Mom said, "why did you let her wear that all day? She told me she would put her clothes on at daycare. There were clothes in her bag"

My response, "Well she told me 'No' too." Smile sweetly

[VTMom]

I've had a similar situation before. I would wait for morning snack and explain that they can have snack once they're dressed for the day. He had a fit for a couple minutes, finally realized "wait...no snack?" and dressed for the day.

[daycare]

I also wouldn't call the parent. Just send her home the way she came.

One girl came here in princess nightgown (she said she didn't want to get dressed) and we just went on with the day. Mom said, "why did you let her wear that all day? She told me she would put her clothes on at daycare. There were clothes in her bag"

My response, "Well she told me 'No' too." Smile sweetly

.......Oh dear.....why am I so stinkin nice to people..... Everyone mistaken my niceness for weakness.

Especially with me being sick, I am in a grumpy mood. I think its time for me to put my foot down again.....

[Springdaze]

I also wouldn't call the parent. Just send her home the way she came.

One girl came here in princess nightgown (she said she didn't want to get dressed) and we just went on with the day. Mom said, "why did you let her wear that all day? She told me she would put her clothes on at daycare. There were clothes in her bag"

My response, "Well she told me 'No' too." Smile sweetly

Yea, why is it any easier for us to get them to do anything, therefore its fair to make us do it!

[daycare]

Yea, why is it any easier for us to get them to do anything, therefore its fair to make us do it!

I am looking at it like this. I missed the first opportunity to put my foot down at arrival and I didn't. SO now I feel I need to suck it up. I would be pissed if I was called from work to take care of this, when the provider could have told me when I was there in the morning. SO again that is my fault.

I think what will happen is that I won't change the clothes for the child and they will go home as they came as many have suggested....

[MommyofThree]

So I have a DCK here age 4 that showed up in jammies this morning. The parent was told this morning no more.

I told DCK was told that after breakfast you will need to change your clothes. (child arrived right at bk time) DCK has been in the bathroom for almost 25 min scream crying that they cannot and will not put their clothes on. At this age, I will not help them. BUT we need to move on with our day. How long would you let this go on before you go in and assist?

One if they cannot then I think what your doing is neglect if you wont help a four year old and you let that poor child scream for a half hour.shame on you Its a different story if the child is just refusing to put them on. again your the adult and she is four so you must take charge if she says no. still not good for her to be in the restroom for that long.

[daycare]

One if they cannot then I think what your doing is neglect if you wont help a four year old and you let that poor child scream for a half hour.shame on you Its a different story if the child is just refusing to put them on. again your the adult and she is four so you must take charge if she says no. still not good for her to be in the restroom for that long.

almost 25 min scream crying that they cannot and will not put their clothes on.

Maybe you missed that part?????

So am I to force this child to change their clothes?

[nannyde]

I wouldn't have allowed him out of the room to change. I also wouldn't bother with it anyway. If he comes in jammies he leaves in jammies.

I don't dig power struggles on stuff that makes no difference anyway.

[SunshineMama]

One if they cannot then I think what your doing is neglect if you wont help a four year old and you let that poor child scream for a half hour.shame on you Its a different story if the child is just refusing to put them on. again your the adult and she is four so you must take charge if she says no. still not good for her to be in the restroom for that long.

It is not neglect to expect a 4 year old to dress themselves in the bathroom. My 3.5 yr old dd tries to pull that same thing on me. I make her go to her room, but if a provider told her to go to the bathroom and change I would not be upset unless she was in there for a super long time. Also it is appropriate to change in private for a 4 year old. Is the op supposed to undress and dress her fully in front of all of the other kids? Dd would be embarrassed- and she has thrown tantrums over getting dressed for way longer than 25 minutes... She knows she can come out whenever she wants- as long as she's dressed. Dcg probably pulled a fast one on mom this am and dcm is making it op's problem. Expecting her to dress herself is doing the dcm a favor and teaching her life skills.

[MsMe]

I wouldn't have allowed him out of the room to change. I also wouldn't bother with it anyway. If he comes in jammies he leaves in jammies.

I don't dig power struggles on stuff that makes no difference anyway.

I agree. I don't do power struggles either.

I CAN get a child to do all of the things they tell their parents 'no' to. But I don't.

I COULD change a child even if they told me no, but I DON'T.

I also have many children that bring a toy or a sweet to the door each morning "bc they just would't leave the house without it" I simply take it,hand it back to Mom shut the door and walk away. Not a word. They know I wont allow it and don't even try to complain....a few moring this way with their parents and the problem would be solved....but that is another thread....

[Greenplasticwateringcans]

One if they cannot then I think what your doing is neglect if you wont help a four year old and you let that poor child scream for a half hour.shame on you Its a different story if the child is just refusing to put them on. again your the adult and she is four so you must take charge if she says no. still not good for her to be in the restroom for that long.

Agree.

The more I read here the more shocked I become at some providers ways of disciplining.

Letting a child scream for 25 minutes is abuse. It does not matter that the child was not dressed, wouldn't/didn't want to, parents wanted you to do it etc.
I get that you are frustrated about that situation but the way you are handlong it is not okay.
You are not teaching the child anything at all.