HELP 4 1/2 Yr Old In Diapers No End In Sight!

[PitterPatter]

I have tried everything to get a 4 1/2 yr old out of diapers (and 3 yr old boy). Sometimes we get lucky I just happen to get her on the potty but it's just luck she will not ever tell me when she has to go!! She will sit in a diaper full of poop and tell me she didn't poop that it was her brother, he in turn does the same so I have to go around looking down everyones pants and it's just getting very frustrating! I can't keep running them up the steps every 30 mins to an hour. I just dont have time, plus everyone has to go... What can I do? It's like they don't know they have a load of crap or wet diaper at all! I know part of the reason may be because they are so used to sitting in it at home BUT this has got to change here! I have been working with them for over a year now! 4 1/2 yr old girl and 3 yr old boy. I am getting disgusted changing such a big girls diapers! It's not normal to me. She looks like she could be in kindergarten and it's just really bothering me to change her diapers and wipe her down!! Has anyone encountered this type of problem what do you do?

I go over the routine every day, many times a day, and EVERY time I find a wet diaper. I ask where they are supposed to go. They will say in potty. I ask if they forget or have an accident what do they do they will say tell sally. So I assume they know it and understand so why? Dear God give me the knowlege WHY? When I ask why they just shrug their shoulders. (they do this to 90% of questions here) I tell them use your words don't shrug. Then they just stand and stare at me with NO response like I'm not even talking to them.

I pray all the time I can beat this and NOTHING works! They only stay dry if I constantly run them upstairs. I can't do it any longer I'm literally in pain from a dozen potty trips already today! I'm about to rip my hair out or scream!

[DaisyMamma]

You won't have any luck until the parental are encouraging it too. What if they have no diaper on? So they go in their pants?

[DaisyMamma]

Have you tried a reward system, like M&Ms or stickers?

[Blackcat31]

Have you tried a reward system, like M&Ms or stickers?

Instead of rewarding the child, try rewarding the parent. Tell them the rate for a 3+ year old in diapers is 3x the regular rate and as soon as the child is trained they can be rewarded by getting the regular rate.

[PitterPatter]

You won't have any luck until the parental are encouraging it too. What if they have no diaper on? So they go in their pants?

They are not going diaper free here when they have never once told me. They will just poo or pee on my carpet or furniture. If they were at least trying to tell me just once even then yeah maybe.

Have you tried a reward system, like M&Ms or stickers?

I have treid every reward anyone has suggested. I was even giving rings to DCG and balls to DCB. They don't get it.

DCM and I have talked many times she says they do the same at home. BUT DCD has told me more than once all she wants to do is sit on the sofa and watch TV all day.

I bought a new lights and sounds train and showed them. Told them if they go in the potty they can play with it. It has been sitting for a week now. They ask but when I say potty 1st! They walk away and play with something else. I told them and DCM I will buy them each a pack of their favorite character underwear. They are excited but then don't go potty. I swear I just don't get it!! After me running them all day they should know. They do know they have to but don't want to go and would rather sit in it. I asked them do you like sitting in poop? They say yes!! :confused::confused:

[PitterPatter]

Instead of rewarding the child, try rewarding the parent. Tell them the rate for a 3+ year old in diapers is 3x the regular rate and as soon as the child is trained they can be rewarded by getting the regular rate.

I saw that suggested somewhere else but these are subsidy. Not allowed to charge anything but the .50c co-pay per day. But thanks Blackcat! It is a great idea!

[Blackcat31]

I saw that suggested somewhere else but these are subsidy. Not allowed to charge anything but the .50c co-pay per day. But thanks Blackcat! It is a great idea!

Uh, that sucks then.

I had a 5 year old many many years ago that was still in diapers because the mom was honestly just plain old lazy and didn't really care. I think she thought the DCB would just one day say "Ok, I am going to be trained today" and that would be that. I tried everythign under the sun to get him trained or to even get her to help me do it but nothing.

It was super gross to change a kid that old and although I could stomach the wet diapers I could NOT do the poop ones so I started calling mom at work and said "B pooped, you need to come change him because I am NOT doing it."

She came every single day for about a week and a half. Then suddenly she took a week off work and he came back in underwear. I would probably never do that now as I have really great families now but it worked back then.

[cheerfuldom]

can you put a portable potty downstairs so at least you dont have to run upstairs so much? You'd have to empty it but it could help for a little bit. I don't know what to tell you.....I would never change a four year olds diaper. I dont even change 3 year olds normally. If I couldn't up their rate, I would let them go because physically, I cant handle diapering such a huge kid. By 4 years old, many of the kids are about half as tall as me!

[Lilbutterflie]

I have a 4 yr old part-time dcb who is only half potty trained. He REFUSES to sit on the toilet; therefore he poops in a pullup. He never ever pees his pants; but when he needs to poop he asks for a diaper. I put one on him, he goes into the bathroom and poops in the pullup. Then I have to change this huge 4 yr old poopy diaper. I hate it too. It doesn't feel natural. He is only here maybe 2 days/16 hrs a week (if that); so his fear of the toilet is not something I will be able to fix. I've told his mom this is her problem to fix; not mine. I don't even try.

But I have had daycare providers in my area tell me that they actually refuse daycare children who are not fully potty trained by the age of 4. Perhaps you could tell the parents that you have a new policy; children who are not potty trained by the age of 4 will need to find alternate care. Since this is a new policy; you can give them 30 days to get this done. If she is not fully potty trained by the end of the 30 days; they will be given notice. I know it sounds harsh; and it is. But there is no reason at all a 4 1/2 yr old should still be in diapers. None. Some parents need a big awakening to actually BE a parent and do what they need to do. Since you can't increase their fee; the only other "big awakening" I can think of is to threaten to let them go, and be willing to do so if they don't take you seriously.

[SunshineMama]

I have tried everything to get a 4 1/2 yr old out of diapers (and 3 yr old boy). Sometimes we get lucky I just happen to get her on the potty but it's just luck she will not ever tell me when she has to go!! She will sit in a diaper full of poop and tell me she didn't poop that it was her brother, he in turn does the same so I have to go around looking down everyones pants and it's just getting very frustrating! I can't keep running them up the steps every 30 mins to an hour. I just dont have time, plus everyone has to go... What can I do? It's like they don't know they have a load of crap or wet diaper at all! I know part of the reason may be because they are so used to sitting in it at home BUT this has got to change here! I have been working with them for over a year now! 4 1/2 yr old girl and 3 yr old boy. I am getting disgusted changing such a big girls diapers! It's not normal to me. She looks like she could be in kindergarten and it's just really bothering me to change her diapers and wipe her down!! Has anyone encountered this type of problem what do you do?

I go over the routine every day, many times a day, and EVERY time I find a wet diaper. I ask where they are supposed to go. They will say in potty. I ask if they forget or have an accident what do they do they will say tell sally. So I assume they know it and understand so why? Dear God give me the knowlege WHY? When I ask why they just shrug their shoulders. (they do this to 90% of questions here) I tell them use your words don't shrug. Then they just stand and stare at me with NO response like I'm not even talking to them.

I pray all the time I can beat this and NOTHING works! They only stay dry if I constantly run them upstairs. I can't do it any longer I'm literally in pain from a dozen potty trips already today! I'm about to rip my hair out or scream!

I wish I could help- I have a boy who will be 4 in May still in diapers, with no desire to stop. His mom will bring him and say, "make sure you work on your potty training today."

It doesn't matter what I do- rewards dont work. The mom says he will sometimes ask her to go but I am not sure she is being truthful. When I took the family in a year ago she told me during the interview they were working on it and the dad looked at her and said, "No, we have not been," so cleary she has been caught lying.

He will sometimes go if I take him and make him sit there, but I dont know if that is doing any good. I've offered treats, stickers, cheerios in the potty to pee on... nothing.

Just a thought- could she have SPD and not be able to recognize when she has to go? I ruled that out with my DCB, but it is worth looking into.

[daycare]

I would sit down with the parents and tell them its crunch time.

I have my kids in diapers one rate and then when they fully PT it goes down $25.00 a month.

A few years ago, I had a kid same age still in diapers. I told the family that I took the kid on because of his age and that I assumed he was already PT.

I told them that I carry a certain work load.

2 kids in diapers more than likely these kids are under 3
1 kids in PT process
3 kids fully PT

I can't have all kids in diapers with the program that I have. I would be changing diapers all day long and we would not get anything done.

I told them that staring *** date that I was changing them to the infant diaper rate. Once daycare kid was PT I would adjust it back....

[SunshineMama]

I would sit down with the parents and tell them its crunch time.

I have my kids in diapers one rate and then when they fully PT it goes down $25.00 a month.

A few years ago, I had a kid same age still in diapers. I told the family that I took the kid on because of his age and that I assumed he was already PT.

I told them that I carry a certain work load.

2 kids in diapers more than likely these kids are under 3
1 kids in PT process
3 kids fully PT

I can't have all kids in diapers with the program that I have. I would be changing diapers all day long and we would not get anything done.

I told them that staring *** date that I was changing them to the infant diaper rate. Once daycare kid was PT I would adjust it back....

How did they react to you charging them the higher rate? How ong did you have the chid before you increased the rate? I like your line of thought here...

[daycare]

How did they react to you charging them the higher rate? How ong did you have the chid before you increased the rate? I like your line of thought here...

Here was here for about two weeks. At that time I realized he had NO desire to PT. It was mostly because the parents were super lazy and had no desire to help at home.

At first they were upset, but then they understood that it took a lot more of my time and attention away from teaching class time and the other kids.

The child ended up getting termed because the parents were late with payments, bounced checks among several other things....

[PitterPatter]

I wish I could help- I have a boy who will be 4 in May still in diapers, with no desire to stop. His mom will bring him and say, "make sure you work on your potty training today."

It doesn't matter what I do- rewards dont work. The mom says he will sometimes ask her to go but I am not sure she is being truthful. When I took the family in a year ago she told me during the interview they were working on it and the dad looked at her and said, "No, we have not been," so cleary she has been caught lying.

He will sometimes go if I take him and make him sit there, but I dont know if that is doing any good. I've offered treats, stickers, cheerios in the potty to pee on... nothing.

Just a thought- could she have SPD and not be able to recognize when she has to go? I ruled that out with my DCB, but it is worth looking into.

What is SPD? Anything is possible I will ask DCM but I'm sure she would tell me so she had an excuse. She LOVES excuses! I doubt there is a real problem because DCB 3 is the same way. Even if they didn't know when they had to go surely they FEEL it sitting in it especially! There have been squished all over and hard turds stuck in the crack (sorry tmi) still didn't tell me. That has to be uncomfortable! They must just be so used to it is all I can think.

[daycare]

What is SPD? Anything is possible I will ask DCM but I'm sure she would tell me so she had an excuse. She LOVES excuses! I doubt there is a real problem because DCB 3 is the same way. Even if they didn't know when they had to go surely they FEEL it sitting in it especially! There have been squished all over and hard turds stuck in the crack (sorry tmi) still didn't tell me. That has to be uncomfortable! They must just be so used to it is all I can think.

I would tell DCM if you are not going to work on it at home I am not going to work on it here. NO point...