Arriving Early For Pick Up BUT............

[daycare]

I have a family that is some what new. Been here a few months.
Lately, the DCP will show up early to pick up the child an hour or so early, but then all of a sudden next thing I know the kid has made his way to my kitchen and is getting himself something to eat or demanding a drink.

I let it happen once before by mistake and when it attempted to happen again last week, I cut it off immediately. I tell the child sorry, snack time was 45 min ago, the kitchen is closed, you need to go home now. Oh btw, I have a NO shoe policy and he had his shoes on full of sand dumping sand all over my entire house. I then tell him, you need to get your shoes off in the house please.

As soon as my words leave my mouth, the child throws himself down kicking and screaming. AND here is where it gets ugly. Mom gets down on her knees and says oh no, are you ok, awe poor baby. Looks up at me and says can you please get him a snack??????????

REALLY???? I have never dealt with a child like this or a parent like this. I tend to be a push over at times, but then when I get fed up, I tend to take it too far. When this happened, I said loudly and clearly, it's time for you to go home. BUT then mom says oh well, you don't close for another hour.......


HOw many buttons are they going to push on me in one day???

I know some of you have had to deal with parents and children like this...Please please please help me before I lose it......

Oh and thank you in advance for your thoughts, opinion and advice...

[TBird]

There's not much you can do aside from saying something to her. I had a very similar situation. Mom would bring her 15 month old son LATE, HUNGRY & THIRSTY. Um...you're late...it's 11:00...he hasn't eaten or been given a cup???

I'm one of the lucky ones...my daycare is located on the second floor of my home in a dedicated space, so it's only common sense that if you miss a meal...it would be LUNACY for me to drag every other kid downstairs to feed your kid who is LATE. I did it the first time because he's a baby & there's no way I'd let him go hungry or thirsty BUT I told her clearly & concisely that if they arrive after 9AM, she needs to have him fed, dressed & ready for the day. She got miffed because I wouldn't let her go into my fridge to make him a cup. She also wanted me to fill up a HUGE cup of milk for their drive home every day. UM NO!!!

You're gonna have to say something. You can be nice about it but be clear & firm. "Ok, I'll grab him a snack this time but if you arrive after 9AM would you please be sure to have him fed & ready to participate because it really upsets him AND our routine with the other kids to stop out & feed him AFTER our mealtime." After that, head straight to your contract & include it there!!!

[daycare]

There's not much you can do aside from saying something to her. I had a very similar situation. Mom would bring her 15 month old son LATE, HUNGRY & THIRSTY. Um...you're late...it's 11:00...he hasn't eaten or been given a cup???

I'm one of the lucky ones...my daycare is located on the second floor of my home in a dedicated space, so it's only common sense that if you miss a meal...it would be LUNACY for me to drag every other kid downstairs to feed your kid who is LATE. I did it the first time because he's a baby & there's no way I'd let him go hungry or thirsty BUT I told her clearly & concisely that if they arrive after 9AM, she needs to have him fed, dressed & ready for the day. She got miffed because I wouldn't let her go into my fridge to make him a cup. She also wanted me to fill up a HUGE cup of milk for their drive home every day. UM NO!!!

You're gonna have to say something. You can be nice about it but be clear & firm. "Ok, I'll grab him a snack this time but if you arrive after 9AM would you please be sure to have him fed & ready to participate because it really upsets him AND our routine with the other kids to stop out & feed him AFTER our mealtime." After that, head straight to your contract & include it there!!!

I did say something, guess I said the wrong things that it didn't get through to the mom. BTW the family is doing this at pick up, not at drop off. Which makes it hard, because they are the only ones here, I don't have other kids to watch and they are early.

Thanks for responding

[wdmmom]

It sounds to me like you work for some really disrespectful families.

I would send home an outline of your day highlighting when snack time is.

And if she asks again, "No, you don't get anymore snacks. You had snack 45 minutes ago and I'm sure mommy is going home to cook you dinner, now Goodbye!"

If DCM has an issue with it, tell her she can supply snack to him in the car on the way home. Tell her they make snack size Teddy Grahams, cheese and crackers, cookie pouches, pretzels, etc and the local Piggly Wiggly carries them all.

[daycare]

It sounds to me like you work for some really disrespectful families.

I would send home an outline of your day highlighting when snack time is.

And if she asks again, "No, you don't get anymore snacks. You had snack 45 minutes ago and I'm sure mommy is going home to cook you dinner, now Goodbye!"

If DCM has an issue with it, tell her she can supply snack to him in the car on the way home. Tell her they make snack size Teddy Grahams, cheese and crackers, cookie pouches, pretzels, etc and the local Piggly Wiggly carries them all.

sorry I am laughing at your part of your post "piggly wiggly"???? I am assuming that is some kind of a quick mart?

The thing is that I did mention it to the mom and she just does not get it. I am starting to think that maybe I need another gate. One that when the parents arrive will not allow the child to go back into the rest of my house...

This child walks all over mom and it seems like mom is the voice of reason for the child for all of the wrong reason..

Really, the mom is very nice, just clueless.

[TBird]

I did say something, guess I said the wrong things that it didn't get through to the mom. BTW the family is doing this at pick up, not at drop off. Which makes it hard, because they are the only ones here, I don't have other kids to watch and they are early.

Thanks for responding

Oh, gotcha! Then SHE needs to provide a snack from the car. "Um Mom...would you mind having a snack ready for him when you arrive in the evenings? It would make things a lot easier & keep him from running through the house when I KNOW you want to get home & rest from your long day at work!"

If she's clueless then a gate is definitely the way to go. OR if you can look out the window & catch her coming, I'd have his coat on, daily report in hand & help him along out the door. BUH...BYE!!!

[SunnyDay]

Do you use the food program? Could you say that the food program does not allow you to give another snack?

[melskids]

Wait a minute.....back the daycare van up.

They are the last family there each night, and had the nerve to tell you "well, you are open for another hour."

So for the last hour you are to entertain them and their shananigans?!

Oh hecks no. ::

Seriously, he would have his stuff on and be waiting at the door.

I'm not one to push people out, but after this incident, I would.

[daycare]

Yes, this is what I need to do. Now that I think about it, I do recall the mom saying that she had a special drink for him in the car, but I think it was more of a power struggle than anything. I think maybe he wanted to see if mom could get me to do it because I said NO.

I am going to tell mom today,bring him a snack for the 1-2 min car ride home. Ugh this just drives me nuts....

[daycare]

Wait a minute.....back the daycare van up. lmao you are too funny!!!::::

[melskids]

Wait a minute.....back the daycare van up. lmao you are too funny!!!::::

I'm sorry........thats just a stupid saying I have when I can't swear during the day...if you know what I mean

Seriously, I'm not one to push them out at night. Many times my families stay and chat for a few minutes, sometimes even with each other. (theyre aLL friends...small town living. )

But in this case, I would'nt even say anything about food again.

I would just say that pick ups and drop offs need to be quicker.

Have him ready...or almost ready, and try to stop her at the door. Can you position yourself so they can;t get past you?

...and I would be SURE to remind precious of your rules in front of mom. He is totally testing you and he needs to know you're still in charge.

[CheekyChick]

Wait a minute.....back the daycare van up.

They are the last family there each night, and had the nerve to tell you "well, you are open for another hour."

So for the last hour you are to entertain them and their shananigans?!

Oh hecks no. ::

Seriously, he would have his stuff on and be waiting at the door.

I'm not one to push people out, but after this incident, I would.

Too funny. ::::::

[WImom]

Oh, gotcha! Then SHE needs to provide a snack from the car. "Um Mom...would you mind having a snack ready for him when you arrive in the evenings? It would make things a lot easier & keep him from running through the house when I KNOW you want to get home & rest from your long day at work!"

If she's clueless then a gate is definitely the way to go. OR if you can look out the window & catch her coming, I'd have his coat on, daily report in hand & help him along out the door. BUH...BYE!!!

I like this. Hopefully it will work for you.

[Lilbutterflie]

Another alternative would be to tell this mom that your rates include only one afternoon snack per day. If she wants you to supply an extra snack, it will be an extra $5 per day. Basically you are calling her bluff. If she wants the extra snack THAT bad, she will have to be willing to pay for it. Money talks! She'll back down right away, I'm sure of it.

[My3cents]

Wait a minute.....back the daycare van up.

They are the last family there each night, and had the nerve to tell you "well, you are open for another hour."

So for the last hour you are to entertain them and their shananigans?!

Oh hecks no. ::

Seriously, he would have his stuff on and be waiting at the door.

I'm not one to push people out, but after this incident, I would.

They are the last family to pick up. You should have said something right away....uh no I am not open another hour, you are here and I am done for the day, your the last pick up. I probably would have been taken back by this and lost for words in the moment too.

As far as the snack goes, tell the mom, no I do not do snacks at all hours of the day. We have a scheduled snack time and he has had a snack. She is not going to like it- oh well. I can understand a quick drink of water but no more then that. Kitchen is closed. If he is having a melt down try explaining to her the changing of the guards and how it makes it very hard for both of you, because he is testing who is in control- and ultimately hoping it is him. Explain drop off and pick up have to be quick, under five minutes and if she wants to come and visit to give you a call, because you are not allowed to have visitors at all times during the day (we are not per licensing) If after you have been nice, explained, and she is still insisting, give her short answers like you would a child. Can you get him a snack? No.

When the kids parents come in to pick up, I change over to them being in charge unless, they don't do their job. Still my home. He wants to have a fit, let him, walk away and busy yourself with small work, she doesn't get the hint, escort them out, saying time to go now-

I have a parent that likes to talk, last pick up.( I like to talk with her too) but my kiddo acts up, gets to go into areas he normally doesn't play in so acts up more, climbs on my bench, runs through my kitchen, something I don't let him do. She takes forever to leave. I enjoy chatting with her until it becomes lets say goodbye to the "pick your item" fifty million times and fifty million byes to me because he is so cute..........and he is, but.....I am ready to be done! I just want to go sit on the charging deck and recharge for the next day. I still have last minute tidying up and close down things to do. I too have this child's coat on and ready to go- it doesn't seem to matter. I wonder if a gate would be the answer- my issue would be having the parent open it, and the kids playing with it. I agree with making a big deal at interviews about your arriving and departure policies. One other idea is to send out a monthly newsletter and reiterate your rules.

Its very hard when you have nicely talked with the parents and they must have the blinds down in the ears because they just do what they want. It doesn't bother them so they don't feel like they are bothering you.

Be strong- Best-