Family Dinners?

[DBug]

The second dcm this week mentioned how her lo eats supper separately than mom & dad. In both cases, the dcm's thought it was cute that even though each dcg had already eaten their own supper, they still wanted to eat with the adults.

Am I missing something here?? Are these kids not eating ANY meals with their families? If they're having breakfast and lunch here, and supper all by themselves, when do they get to eat with their families?

These dcg's are both toddlers, both sit at the table with no booster, both use cutlery and drink from open cups, both eat everything I make for daycare (not hugely fancy, but not chicken fingers either) ... why would their parents not want to eat with them?

Call me old-fashioned, but we never segregated our own kids for meals. From birth, they were in a bouncy seat beside us, and as soon as they were old enough they were sitting in the high chair at the table with us (even if they weren't eating solids yet). When they were old enough, they'd finish and then go play while hubby and I got a chance to talk and finish eating.

I don't know, is this normal? If it is, it makes me sad that parents would overlook such a perfect time to catch up with their kids ...

[Beach Baby]

That is very sad to me. With everyone having such busy lives these days, they should cherish ANY time they have with their kids! Like you, we have always included our kids at the dinner table with us. For us, dinner is a time to talk about our days and spend some time together all in one place. Maybe they feed the little ones something different than what they are having and feed them first? Ugh I don't know. I try to think the best of everyone, but that's getting harder and harder to do!

[cheerfuldom]

I would guess that either the parents or the child are eating in front of the TV. very sad. we do as many family meals as possible. If you aren't caring for them during the day and not having supper with them, what are you doing with your kids in the evening? just putting them to bed???? sad.

[Country Kids]

My family is one of the last that I know try to eat together nightly. People are amazed that we do this.

I use to belong to a Bunco group when my kids were little. They were all amazed that I worked all day, made dinner, ate with my family and made it to Bunco on time. To me it wasn't that hard, a little rushed but not to bad. I usually even had my kitchen cleaned up before I left.

This could be one reason we have such picky, picky eaters now. They don't know what it is like to sit down and eat at a table with other people.

[Country Kids]

Forgot to say-don't even get me started on kids eating breakfast at home! I hear so much that we don't have time or I can't get them up and fed that early.

I get up, cook breakfast, set the table, etc, get my kids up, fed, me ready, laundry taken out and start cleaning my kitchen before the first ones arrive. Oh did I mention they start getting here at 6:30! Then my kids start leaving for school at 7:00 with full tummies.

[countrymom]

I have parents who feed thier kids one meal and they eat at a different time and mom and dad eat another meal at a different time, thats so wierd. I really believe thats why kids are picky.

ok, this happened the other day. Dcb is 3 yrs old, the last couple of weeks he keeps asking me for snack, all day, he wakes up and asks for a snack. He is getting all his meals mixed up. So I got to talking with mom and she was telling me that he "snacks all day" but they are healthy snacks ????? (ya if they were healthy then he wouldn't be eating the garbage out of my gravel driveway, yup you read right, he eats things out of my driveway) she says that he eats alot of fruit, which I know its not true because I serve fruit everyday and he eats none of it. So I tell mom that maybe he needs to sit at a table and eat and she was like "I don't have time or he doesn't want to sit" hmm funny thing is, he sits here and eats, but I have to sit with him. He is a picky eater because he can eat when he wants and whatever he wants and there really is no reason why this family can't eat together.

[Cat Herder]

I know I've told this story before...but for newcomers...

When I was young we were forced to sit at the table with my parents every night... Not always ideal I went to bed hungry many nights (not able to eat) because of the stress from the adult dinner conversation (arguments), nagging over grades, nagging over the way I held my fork, nagging over how I sat, nagging about my hair....etc... I was scary skinny.

I was NOT abused ::.... I was a child of the 70's where BOTH of my parents held two jobs. Latch key, YMCA and daycare WERE the norm. Dinner was the only time they could "talk" to me.... They were tired, overworked and hungry. Not a great conversation time...

IME, It MUST be done right to be beneficial to families. Mealtimes should be fun and bonding...NOT lecture time.

Personally, when my kids were infants and young toddlers I did feed them separately (before adult dinner) quite often... Hear me out, though...you KNOW I cherish every minute I have with them...

Mealtimes with littles is work. I did not get to enjoy a hot meal, conversation, a laugh or a good story with my husband while feeding a MEAL to my babies. I was prone to crabby venting if I did not get a bit of "down time" at dinner...

I'd feed them their healthy meal and give them their desert, which they happily ate without my help, while we had dinner. It worked very well until they were more able to be self led at mealtimes.

For fun, we even have dinner/movie night from time to time (comedy, only )....happyface We spend lot's of time together that is not about food...so I am pretty confident there will be no longterm damage from our bit's of time in front of the tube laughing together...::::

[LittleD]

We don't do family dinners here too often my husband usually works til 7 and the kifs r starving by 4:30. If I don't have supper ready they help themselves to junk. If I have a healthy snack then they don't want supper-or jist small amount. We alsohave a tiny table. Thats all we have room for on dailey basis. On weekends I'll pull the table out get the leaf and we can sit together, but not often enough When I buy a house one of my must haves will be a big kitchen or dining room! That time can't come soon enough!

[My3cents]

I know I've told this story before...but for newcomers...

When I was young we were forced to sit at the table with my parents every night... Not always ideal I went to bed hungry many nights (not able to eat) because of the stress from the adult dinner conversation (arguments), nagging over grades, nagging over the way I held my fork, nagging over how I sat, nagging about my hair....etc... I was scary skinny.

I was NOT abused ::.... I was a child of the 70's where BOTH of my parents held two jobs. Latch key, YMCA and daycare WERE the norm. Dinner was the only time they could "talk" to me.... They were tired, overworked and hungry. Not a great conversation time...

IME, It MUST be done right to be beneficial to families. Mealtimes should be fun and bonding...NOT lecture time.

Personally, when my kids were infants and young toddlers I did feed them separately (before adult dinner) quite often... Hear me out, though...you KNOW I cherish every minute I have with them...

Mealtimes with littles is work. I did not get to enjoy a hot meal, conversation, a laugh or a good story with my husband while feeding a MEAL to my babies. I was prone to crabby venting if I did not get a bit of "down time" at dinner...

I'd feed them their healthy meal and give them their desert, which they happily ate without my help, while we had dinner. It worked very well until they were more able to be self led at mealtimes.

For fun, we even have dinner/movie night from time to time (comedy, only )....happyface We spend lot's of time together that is not about food...so I am pretty confident there will be no longterm damage from our bit's of time in front of the tube laughing together...::::

I like this- happyface We try to eat together as a family, but come the end of the day we all want to wind down, and do our thing. We do come together for things that are more bonding after supper. Sometimes we don't. We don't not communicate as a family and I think that is the key- When my kid's were little we ate at the table every night. I feel its a personal thing, and do what is right for your family, and it can change over time- I don't think there is a wrong or right way as long as your communicating as a family, and engaging with one another to bond on happy times. We usually all chat together in the process of making the dinner- because we are all hungry and help to get it together. Again, my kids are older. We do everything together as a family most of the time.

I too remember the stresses of meal times as a child.

[Angelmichelle]

We eat as a family a few times per month: usually Sundays after church, when we do our twice a month eating out, and when we have our once a month big family dinner. Aside from that, they kids eat together and my husband and I eat when we can/want. I don't eat a lot because of medication I'm on, and my husband owns a business and his hours are unpredictable. It's not a great excuse, but it works for my family. We spend a lot of time together otherwise, however, including transitioning to a homeschooling family-- and we only utilized daycare for 2 years out of our whole 10 years of being parents together (when I was in nursing school) so I hope my children don't feel deprived-- like I didn't spend enough time with them-- because we don't sit down to dinner together nightly.

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

I know I've told this story before...but for newcomers...

When I was young we were forced to sit at the table with my parents every night... Not always ideal I went to bed hungry many nights (not able to eat) because of the stress from the adult dinner conversation (arguments), nagging over grades, nagging over the way I held my fork, nagging over how I sat, nagging about my hair....etc... I was scary skinny.

I was NOT abused ::.... I was a child of the 70's where BOTH of my parents held two jobs. Latch key, YMCA and daycare WERE the norm. Dinner was the only time they could "talk" to me.... They were tired, overworked and hungry. Not a great conversation time...

IME, It MUST be done right to be beneficial to families. Mealtimes should be fun and bonding...NOT lecture time.

Personally, when my kids were infants and young toddlers I did feed them separately (before adult dinner) quite often... Hear me out, though...you KNOW I cherish every minute I have with them...

Mealtimes with littles is work. I did not get to enjoy a hot meal, conversation, a laugh or a good story with my husband while feeding a MEAL to my babies. I was prone to crabby venting if I did not get a bit of "down time" at dinner...

I'd feed them their healthy meal and give them their desert, which they happily ate without my help, while we had dinner. It worked very well until they were more able to be self led at mealtimes.

For fun, we even have dinner/movie night from time to time (comedy, only )....happyface We spend lot's of time together that is not about food...so I am pretty confident there will be no longterm damage from our bit's of time in front of the tube laughing together...::::

I am kinda in the same boat as you! My Hubby comes home at different times during the evening.

So I feed my kids dinner at the same time every day, we both help them get homework done, baths, ect done. We still talk about our day's and catch up with each other that way.

When we put the kids to bed then me and my hubby eat our dinner and catch up with each other.

My hubby is not the type that is really hungry when he gets home. He just wants to come in, visit with the kids, relax and have a couple of beers, then eat dinner. The kids are in bed by that time.

It works for us that way, and our kids dont suffer from it.

We have family game nights and play video games, watch movies and read together too.

When I was a kid I kinda felt the same, I just hated being there having "family meetings" I couldnt wait to leave the table.

We sit and eat together on all family occasions and holidays.

[AmyLeigh]

I feel so bad that so many of you have had bad experiences with family meals. It is supposed to be an anchor in the day. Throughout human history, sharing a meal means much more than just filling the stomach. It is supposed to be a time of communicating and bonding.
I feel very strongly about it and it is something I enforce in my home. Dh works late, usually not getting home til 7:00 or later 2 or 3 days a week, but the rest of the time we always eat dinner together. Sometimes, my children will just snack and then wait until Dad is home to eat their dinner, even if they are already in their PJ's. On his days off, we will eat breakfast and lunch together too. It takes something very important for me to agree to separate meals.
I will agree that having a meal with littles is work. I remember holding a nursing infant in one hand and eating with the other. Got pretty proficient at using a fork with my left hand! But like anything else with parenting, the more work that is put in, the more rewards are reaped.

[Country Kids]

We have loads of fun around our dinner table. Usually I'm in tears from laughter about telling a story of some sorts. There are times where its not all fun and games but the majority of the time it is.

My daughter sometimes has to leave the table to spit her food or drink out because we are laughing soooo hard that she's afraid of it all coming out onto her plate.

Just recently we had taco's for dinner. When my daughter and hubby bought the shells neither one noticed they were the mini ones! What a laugh that got as we sat around eating the "appatizer" shells. They were sooo tiny!

We also have great debates over things. My husband who is Mexican and I always get into who actually owns "The Alamo". Its very friendly and can get so funny with our come backs to each other. My son was somewhere one night and they were talking about "The Alamo" and my son said if I know nothing else I know all about that because of the discussions we have on it!

Good times we have!

[AfterSchoolMom]

We try to have dinner together at the table at least once per week. Most days we have after school and evening activities, so I have to make sure the kids get fed before we go - DH and I prefer to eat later (I just can't eat dinner at 4:30 unless I skipped lunch). We do eat out once a week or so, and we all sit down together for that.

Lately the smell of most meat and hot food makes me really ill (I get my "morning sickness" in the evening), so DH and the kids have been eating together while I hide out upstairs.

[SilverSabre25]

My DD and I ( and now my mom) eat dinner together every night; DH has worked weird hours for a long time now and is only home for dinner once or twice a week--but it works for our family right now. I do occasionally feed DD early and then eat alone later, but not often.