I Have To Improve Things, Because I Have To Stick This Out

[sahm2three]

I don't know where to begin. Firstly, the biggest problem right now, is that EVERYONE is sick. But how do I stop the passing it around? Parents send kids hopped up on tylenol and then their fever spikes just before lunch. I send home for the day and then the next. They have already exposed the others, and now they are all coming down with crap. It has been going on for almost a month. I can't remember the last day I didn't send anyone home sick. The parents are getting grouchy from being called all the time, I am getting sick now and I am soooooooo tired of watching everyones sick kids. I am a WELL daycare. They try to blame everything on teething. WTH ever!!! How can I enjoy my job when all I do is care for sick kids? They whine constantly and we have to just continually rotate thru snuggling the sick kids. So. Tired. Of. It.

The naughty kids. I have a few. It has gotten better since I decided to take the power back from a few of them by putting them in pnp's in a seperate room so that they couldn't do everything they could to irritate me more. That has helped. But still, it is a lot of disuption. It takes so much time away from the other kids. Here are the behaviors I am having a hard time curbing:

Running - There really isn't a lot of running room, but they run in circles. It is annoying. I get after them so much about this. I could put my voice on a loop repeating "Walking feet" over an over.

Taking toys from the babies - This is constant too. I think a couple of the older kids like to hear the babies cry.

Hitting/pushing/throwing things at eachother - The older boys are very physical. I almost need a seperate room for each of them!

Disrespect - Being spit at, being told no, my assistant was told "I hate you" by one of the kids. Whatever happened to respect your elders?!

Breaking things - I throw out at least a couple toys a week. Most recently, they have broken roads off of our car table. I keep trying to glue them back on, but they lean/lay on it or smash their cars on the roads and break them free. I am just tired of the disrespect of my things. Also of my home. They kick walls, throw things at the walls. I have chips in some of the walls/sheet rock. I take pride in how my home looks. I just can't believe the disrespect.

Ok, the babies. They are all needy/clingy. It is making it really hard to do anything. The colicky baby screams almost all day. The parents are fantastic, and doing everything they can to change it. The mom feels awful for us, and tells us daily how wonderful we are and that she couldn't do the job we do. I appreciate that. But it is still so hard and tiring. The 8 month old is just whiney. Constant whining/crying. He hasn't started crawling and HATES to be on his stomach still. He has a HUGE head, and can't hold it up well for long. So don't know if he is just tired from holding up his big noggin or what. But tiring. And he is a pretty big so I can't tote him around all day.

Parents. They just take advantage. They leave their kids here the max amount of hours they can. Most of my kids are here from open to close. Whether they need to be or not. That makes me sad. No wonder their kids have behavioral problems! Ten hours a day in someone else's home is a lot. Parents keep breaking rules. No outside food. I have a couple parents who constantly send their kids in with food. Crappy food. Pop tarts, fruit snacks, sugary dry cereal,etc. I have repeated myself so many times, I just stopped and just take the food from the child and either hand it back to the parent or put it in the garbage. Also, kids bring toys. I do the same with the toys. Either put it in the bag/coat sleeve or hand back to the parent. Do they not understand the issues this causes?!

I wish each parent could come work in the daycare for one week each, then maybe they would have a new appreciation of what we do!

Ideas? Things have to change. Only thing is, just getting rid of kids won't work. I need to stay full. I have a waiting list, but most are sibling sets with babies. I do NOT want any more babies!

[Breezy]

Aw hun I am in bed and need to get to sleep but I will respond in the morning. Didn't want to read and run though!

[MN Mom]

Don't be sad...be GLAD!

I've been following your threads since I joined this forum. They were mildly negative at the start but have grown with such intensity in the last 6 months or so that my HONEST opinion is that it is time for a career change.

This is gonna sound really harsh and I mean it with all due respect, but my mother use to tell me this when I was younger and complained a lot ----

Either put up or shut up!

I understand this is a place to come vent, get advise, what have you ; but after awhile people start not feeling sorry for you anymore. You have 2 choices fix it, or don't...but if you chose not to fix it please quit b*tching about it because, honestly, I am tired of hearing it. Once in awhile I see a post from you that makes me think, Ahhh! She's so happy today! Good for her!, and it gives me hope that you were finally able to get things working smoothly. Then I see it was only temporary, or only when it was a light duty day (and even then I've seen you find something to complain about).

Remember negative energy attracts negative energy and results in negative behavior. Children can SENSE how you are feeling, and they feed / play off of it, even if you think you are hiding it.

Think Positive, Act Positive, BE Positive. Make some lemonade outta those lemons!!!!!!

[laundrymom]

I would play fast paced physical games with them. We blow cotton balls across the floor, crawl over under things as a timed event, over a beanbag, under a table, using arms only. Simon says, statue game,

For the babies I simply hold them while I'm giving orders,

Take a deep breath. Relax. They sense stress

[bunnyslippers]

I am sorry you are feeling this way! I, too, have been feeling a bit frustrated lately. I also understand that while you may need a career change, it might not be possible for you right now.

I think you just need to try and keep positive...which I know can be difficult. Also, maybe try a few new techniques.

Parents taking advantage - I hear that one loud and clear. Could you change your policy to contracted hours vs. all day from open-close? Or maybe look at shaving off a half hour on either end? I used to open at 6:45, and now open at 7:30. That 45 minutes made a huge difference in my mornings. Try looking at what hours you know the parents are at work, and see if there is a way to tweek the schedule.

Running was a problem here, too. When the running starts, could you have them all try dancing? They probably just need to move...if you structure it by calling it dance time, then maybe you will feel better about the craziness and they would get the movement they need to then calm back down.

Taking toys from babies is an easy fix. Try making specific toys "baby toys" and putting them in a separate big kid-free zone.

Destruction of property and toys is a huge annoyance, and can get expensive. Anything outside of normal wear and tear and you could try asking the parents to replace it. I also once took away almost all of our toys after a particularly destructive day, and the kids needed to earn them back with respectful behavior.

Do not tolerate disrespect. If children are rude, enforce a consequence. I think it is part of our job to teach them to be respectful of all adults and all children. The same goes for hurting one another - never allowed, with an immediate consequence.

Babies can be draining! Try setting up a rotating system with your helper, so you both can tap out when it gets to be too much.

I had a particularly tough group one year. To keep myself sane and organized, I literally would sit down each morning and come up with a "schedule for the day broken into 15 minute intervals with whatever choice would be available at that time. It was labor intensive, but gave me a sense of control and structure.

Hang in there! I feel your pain - I really do!

[Mom&Provider]

Maybe you need fewer kids? There would be less confusion, less running around out of control and maybe find some actitives for the kids who are always tearing apart your things?

It sounds like parents are walking on you because you aren't pushing your rules anymore. You were doing the right thing by handing the item back to the parent...maybe hand it back (toy or food) and explain why it causes the issue? I know you've done this, but maybe you have to keep doing it until they get the point!

As for parents using all your hours up even if they don't have to, this is common, everyone here can tell you that. Maybe consider setting up hours for each family, change the rules and up the cost for those that leave their children more then X number of hours and maybe that would help.

[AnythingsPossible]

As far as the sick kids go, in the past when I have had this type of situation where they keep passing everything around, I have taken a long weekend, either 3 or 4 days depending on what has been going on and for how long. I take that time to deep clean everything and hope that when they return they are feeling a little better as well.

When my group gets to running and the walking feet isn't working, I either sit them all down for story time, or continually stand in their way of where they are trying to run.

Your group sounds like it could do with a little tough love from you. Take as much away as you can and leave only a few things out. Tell them they will earn things back when they can behave nicely with things. The boys that wrestle, seperate them.

The fussy babies, I totally hear you with. I have 4 one year olds, and while they are good for the most part, there is 1 that is very difficult. I spend a lot of time sitting on the floor with him while supervising what else is going on in the room.

Send the food back out the door with parents when they send it to daycare. If you don't give it back to them and just throw it away or put it away after they leave, they think it is ok that they brought it.

If you do take a long weekend, spend some time reflecting on the kids in your care. Maybe dropping one or two would benefit you as a provider and your childcare as a whole. The loss of income can be hard, but sometimes it is worth it for your stress and happiness level!

[cheerfuldom]

I have read numerous of your posts in the past. It does not sound like you enjoy your job at all and also that you have too many kids. I would revamp my budget, drop the assistant and as many kids as possible (the roughest and rowdiest kids first) and then if that did not work out, find a new job.

some of what you are describing can be changed but a lot of it (like kids wanting to run) is just a part of the job. I would imagine that you are so stressed at this point that the smallest thing is irritating you. You are always going to hate your job if you are waiting for it to be perfect. For instance, if you have a rule about food, leave a trashcan on the porch and ALL food is tossed before the child enters the home. If the parents want to toss food everyday after that, who cares? You can't control everything, just what happens in your home. If you send kids home sick every day until the parents get the rules, so what? If they get tired of picking up their kids then they will find a new daycare. Anyone that is masking illness after one reminded about the rules should have been termed anyway.

[Heidi]

I think it may be time for a major overhaul; over there! Step !: assess the situation:


how many children are in your group total?
How many helpers do you have, ft or pt?
What hours are you open?
Describe or show pics of your space...

[countrymom]

I think it may be time for a major overhaul; over there! Step !: assess the situation:


how many children are in your group total?
How many helpers do you have, ft or pt?
What hours are you open?
Describe or show pics of your space...

this. We need more info to help you.

[morgan24]

I'm sorry your having a rough time. I think Jan. and Feb. are hard months sometimes. The weather isn't always good and they can't get out and get rid of some energy.

What I do when I have a group who is like this I put them all in boot camp. Plan on spending most of your energy on every time they run, hit, or break a rule, they sit in a chair, when they get out I let them know they will set down again if they break a rule. Sit them down and make the rules clear to them everyday. Remove most of the toys. I would leave out blocks and a few other things. Then I let the kids that go by the rules play with special toys. I have a doll house they love and if they go by the rules they get a turn at it, usually 2 at a time. I also don't use words like walking feet, I say in a loud semi mean voice, no running. Using words like walking feet is to nice for me.

As for the parents and the sickness, I'm dead on blunt. They bring a kid who gets a fever later, I send them home. Sickness is a hard part of daycare and I make it clear if they keep it up they will be let go. The same thing with breaking food rules or anything else, I call them out on it right to their face to make sure that they understand.

I really don't have any suggestions for babies. I don't take a lot of babies anymore.
Hang in there it will get better.

[MyAngels]

My first thought after reading your post is that (particularly the older children) the kids are bored, and therefore running amok. I know if I don't keep my older kids busy with some type of activity they get crazy. I also try a mix of quiet and active things, which also helps. If all else fails, they get separated into groups of two in different areas with quiet things to do.

As far as the babies go - you have to remember that they will outgrow their needy/clinginess/crying jags. They are only little for a short time and chances are they will be great kids once they get past the infant stage.

I also agree with the PP who say you may have to scale back a bit on the number of kids you have if you want any sort of sanity at your place.

[countrymom]

I'm sorry your having a rough time. I think Jan. and Feb. are hard months sometimes. The weather isn't always good and they can't get out and get rid of some energy.

What I do when I have a group who is like this I put them all in boot camp. Plan on spending most of your energy on every time they run, hit, or break a rule, they sit in a chair, when they get out I let them know they will set down again if they break a rule. Sit them down and make the rules clear to them everyday. Remove most of the toys. I would leave out blocks and a few other things. Then I let the kids that go by the rules play with special toys. I have a doll house they love and if they go by the rules they get a turn at it, usually 2 at a time. I also don't use words like walking feet, I say in a loud semi mean voice, no running. Using words like walking feet is to nice for me.

As for the parents and the sickness, I'm dead on blunt. They bring a kid who gets a fever later, I send them home. Sickness is a hard part of daycare and I make it clear if they keep it up they will be let go. The same thing with breaking food rules or anything else, I call them out on it right to their face to make sure that they understand.

I really don't have any suggestions for babies. I don't take a lot of babies anymore.
Hang in there it will get better.

this is really good advice and works really good.

[SilverSabre25]

Rowdy kids:
How much ability would you have to term the worst offenders?

Are there any kids who rile up everyone else, meaning that when those kids aren't there everything runs more smoothly?

What about sitting down with the parents of all the worst kids and making a behavior improvement plan, making them understand that the destruction and disrespect are NOT acceptable? That they are on notice that if their chlidren's behavior does not improve in (30 days? six weeks?) they will be looking for different care?

What about sending them outside with your assistant whenever they get too wound up, trying to work off that excess energy?

Sickness:
Close for a couple days (hell, close tomorrow and Friday!) and send home a copy of your sick policies with the information that you will be cracking down on them to keep everyone healthier. As of now, adopt catherder's sick policy (if they are kept home it's 24 hours exclusion, if they are sent home it's 48), and consider making "dose and drop" punishable by immediate termination. Closing will accomplish several things: allow you to recover, physically, as well as emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Allow you to clean everything and disinfect. Allow you the time to rearrange and try and curb some of the other problems.

Disrespect and Destruction:
It sounds like the train table needs to go. They are not using it correctly. Any toy they are using incorrectly/being too rough with, needs to be taken out of there. Or, if they aren't managing that, then leave them with nothing but soft baby toys, things that will hurt nothing and no one if they are thrown, squished, stomped on, etc. YES THEY WILL HATE IT. But if you keep explaining to them why they are left with these things, they will eventually get it.

If you have some who are well-behaved, temporarily set-up a special room for them where they have toys to play with, and split the group up--your assistant with one group and you with the other.

Babies--it sounds like you need a separate baby play space, with a super yard or something, to protect the babies from the bigger kids and prevent the bigger kids from reaching the babies.

Parents: Crack down on your policies. You are already handling the food thing by turning it away at the door. You are already handling the toys by turning THEM away at the door. You need to crack down on the hours by only allowing contracted hours--send home a letter (maybe wait a few weeks) about the need to either trim your hours or raise your rates. Include a "survey" about what each family's real care needs are. Or consider changing your rates to a sliding scale where the longer they are in care per day, the more expensive it will be.

[Blackcat31]

YOU have the power to change things......you just need to do it.

It IS hard but it isn't going to fix itself. Take control of your business.....even if that means cleaning house. Anything has to be better than the way it is going right now!

We can support you and give you advice but we can't do it for you....