Cruel and Unusual Punishment??

[newtoeverything]

I have a 2 1/2 yr old that doesn't eat anything unless it's junk food. So...for breakfast I had peaches and blueberry muffins (a few things I KNOW she will eat)... she won't budge - all she wants it HER MILK...Ugh. So, it has been an hour and I'm still holding strong. She can't get out of her seat until she eats 1 bite of each. Is this too harsh?? She drinks her milk ALL day and then isn't hungry unless it's a cookie or chips. She sees all the kids playing but she won't eat. Wondering if I should give in?....PLEASE HELP

[Unregistered]

My kids AND daycare kids get what they get and they dont throw a fit, if she refuses to eat then take the food away after a normal amount of eating time and DO NOT give her any milk unless its with meals, I've had dcks in the past like this and when i serve them milk with thier food they only get a couple of swallows until/unless they eat a good majority of their food then they can have more milk..I DO NOT allow ANY kids to walk around with food or drinks and especially not infants or toddlers with bottles/sippy cups, when your dcg is thirsty between meals and snacks give her a drink of water, it may take a few days but eventually she will learn that if she wants to eat she has to eat at meal times and whats in front of her and that she will only get milk if she eats.
Kiddie Care

[Daycare Mommy]

No, that's not cruel at all. I'd switch her to water only until she starts eating again. It's your job to do your best to ensure she is well cared for during the day and that includes making sure she eats. Even after she begins eating for you, you will probably still need to limit her milk intake, because it can be really easy for her to fall right back into the old habit of filling up on that instead of her food.

My son did that with juice before I knew any better. For my son I do milk at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, juice with snacks, and water anytime he needs it inbetween.

[jen]

Nope, not cruel or unusual...

When you say "all day" for the milk, are you giving her milk in between meals? I definitely wouldn't do that under these circumstances. Also, when I've had kids like this, I just don't give them their milk until they have eaten a few bites of food first. They learn pretty quick.

[momma2girls]

I give them my dessert(might only be applesauce, jello, cookie, etc.) after they eat everything, the main dish and veg. otherwise they would eat that first and say they were full. I give them a 1/2 children's glass of milk at mealtime and juice or water at both snacks. If they want anything else to drink in between, they just receive water.

[DBug]

My two cents, for what it's worth, is that making her sit there that long is a little extreme (but no offense intended). I have several kids that don't eat anywhere near what I think they should be eating, but unless there's a medical condition involved, I think it's better to let the kids listen to their own bodies. If they're not hungry, they're not hungry. That said, I have set meals and snacks. Food is placed in front of the kids. If they choose not to eat, that's their choice. We don't have dessert or treats or substitutions so I don't use that as an incentive. Lots of fruit and veggies and whole grains. Milk & juice is only served at breakfast, am snack, and lunch (2 glasses max.). The rest of the day it's water. I tell them quite often that eating is completely up to them.

Being the controlling person that I am , I would prefer to make kids eat everything on their plate. But, for the strong-willed ones (and this one sounds like one of those), it could quickly become a battle ground. IMO, eating is not where you want to stake your claim. Naptime, rules, etc are where you need to spend your energy, but with eating -- there could just end up being so many issues later on in life (eating disorders, or obesity).

The other thing is, what if the child doesn't eat for the rest of the day and is still sitting there at pick-up time?

[momma2girls]

My two cents, for what it's worth, is that making her sit there that long is a little extreme (but no offense intended). I have several kids that don't eat anywhere near what I think they should be eating, but unless there's a medical condition involved, I think it's better to let the kids listen to their own bodies. If they're not hungry, they're not hungry. That said, I have set meals and snacks. Food is placed in front of the kids. If they choose not to eat, that's their choice. We don't have dessert or treats or substitutions so I don't use that as an incentive. Lots of fruit and veggies and whole grains. Milk & juice is only served at breakfast, am snack, and lunch (2 glasses max.). The rest of the day it's water. I tell them quite often that eating is completely up to them.

Being the controlling person that I am , I would prefer to make kids eat everything on their plate. But, for the strong-willed ones (and this one sounds like one of those), it could quickly become a battle ground. IMO, eating is not where you want to stake your claim. Naptime, rules, etc are where you need to spend your energy, but with eating -- there could just end up being so many issues later on in life (eating disorders, or obesity).

The other thing is, what if the child doesn't eat for the rest of the day and is still sitting there at pick-up time?

I agree, I let the child sit there, and if they are not going to eat anything, that is their choice, they will not get my dessert that day(fruit, pudding, jello, applesause, cookie, etc) It varies day by day what we have. Many times it is a fruit(which they usually love this) if they decide they are not going to eat the main dish and veg. they don't eat. I tell them, they are not going to be getting anything else til pm snacks, after resttime.

[Childminder]

Rather than to make her sit there until she eats what if you were to saran the plate and bring it back out for snack/lunch until she takes her bite. When she sees the other children eating something else maybe she'll give in. I have a two bite rule and every child has to eat two bites of everything on their plate or they don't get to go out side and play, or craft or what ever. I've only had a couple children that have fought the rule and after a couple of days of watching the other kids play and getting the same food back the next meal they pretty much try everything.

I did have one girl that started screaming every time we sat down to eat and there were no gummy bears or chips on her plate. After a couple of days of this she would spend the meal in the sleep room with a tantrum while the rest of us ate. Daddy only gave her chips and candy. Too bad, so sad! Now she will try everything, she got very hungry and I don't do junk.

[gbcc]

I have a 6 year old school aged boy that refuses to eat anything but cookies, cakes ect. I offer him lunch and he has the option to eat or not. He gets milk as well. If he chooses not to eat it, then he doesn't get snack. His meal is waiting for him still at snack time. I wont give water/juice until his milk is gone. There have been times were he wanted a cookie for snack and he ate his lunch at snack time and then had a cookie for snack. I don't make him sit there the entire time though, he is free to play but if he complains he is hungry that is his own fault and he has to wait until snack time to eat his lunch.

[momofsix]

I used to make my own kids sit until they ate at least one bite of everything on their plate, but now that is one of the battles that I regret having with them. When I look back that is one time when I think --wow that was way too controlling and not neccessary! Maybe it's easier to let some thngs go now that I'm a LITTLE older, maybe now I can see the bigger picture and realize it wasn't such a big deal--I don't know. But food is one battle I won''t stress over anymore. It can become such a huge power struggle, and there is really no way the adult can win--you can't make someone put something in their mouth and swollow it. I also noticed my kids appetites would change from time to time, depending on growth spurts, activity level, and other things.
Is this the only struggle you're having with her, or is she a very strong-willed child and this is one of many struggles?
That being said. I would not give her any junk food at all. She can have what you serve for meals/snacks and that's it. And I would hold off on the milk until she's eaten at least some food.
In Michigan it's against the rules to force a child to eat something or to withhold any food. "Children shall be encouraged to taste new foods, but shall not be required to eat anything they do not want"
Good luck!

[misol]

childminder and gbcc I like this idea! Effective tomorrow, I think I will start saving uneaten lunches and bringing them out again at snack time. If they take a bite then they can have the snack that the others eating. This just might work for my group.

[Unregistered]

Food is not the hill I'm willing to die on.
I put food in front of them. If they want seconds of something, all the food on their plate needs to be gone.
That's my only rule.
If they eat, great. If they don't, I really would have a hard time caring less (not really, it drives me freaking nuts, but I don't let them know that), and just give them an oh well, sit and watch everyone else eat.
If they are hungry they will eat, but hey, no ones going to starve to death.

Parents will hit up Micky D's after they leave your house anyway, officially canceling out anything nutritious you may have managed to squeeze in there anyway.

[Amadia]

I have a girl in my daycare that wont eat anything but junk food. I have tried everything to get her to eat more healthy foods. I finally just gave up. I serve the healthy food, if she refuses to eat it then fine she doesn't get anything else to eat. I don't fight her on the one bite rule because it just doesn't seem worth it to me. Her parents actually asked if they could bring food for her (their ideas of food were cheetos, fruit snacks, chips, and yes SODA...she's 3!!!) I told them there was no way I could let her eat foods like that in my house because it would upset the other children. So most days she just doesn't eat anything (which sounds horrible) but yesterday I figured out why, her parents are loading her up on junk food before she comes in the morning. It was 8am and she had a bag of chip ahoys, cheetos, and soda.

I don't understand parents. My kids rarely ever get sweets so when they do it's a big deal (a treat)

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

I wouldn't make her sit there for extreeme long periods..just don't give her the cookie or sweets until she eats something good. If she doesn't eat her good food, she doesn't get the sweet snack. At snack time offer her the good food again...no good foods, no sweets. That's my rule with my 6 year old daughter who has a HUGE sweet tooth.

[melskids]

(warning! not for thse with a weak stomach) LOL

i used to make the kids sit there until they ate. one day i fought with a dgb about eating his carrots. when i fianlly got him to eat them, he looked at me with this strange face i've never seen before, and opened his mouth and out it came. ALL. OVER. EVERYTHING. alot more came out then went in. ALOT more.

lets just say, i dont make kids eat it if they dont want to anymore