Does This Sound Confrontational … Letter To Bug Bite Dad

[familyschoolcare]

My husband says that I get emotional when I talk about this so I just wanted to make sure this letter does not sound confrontational.


Side note: Of course I get emotional this man is accusing me of not having a clean house.


Dear ****,

This letter is in response to the E-mail you sent on, October 14, 2011. I will not be able to discuss issue regarding **** with **** until and unless I have permission in writing. Please keep in mind that I will continue to put some communications in writing. Such as those that a very important or when passing a large amount of information. I would do this even if I communicated directly with you.
I understand your concern of the possibility that something at my house is cause problems with Gavin’s skin. Therefore, I have followed the advice of the environmental health department, and placed sticky traps out. They did not catch anything. This was done, with the equipment and in the manner, which the expert from the environmental health department, said would catch, flees, bed bugs, or gnats, if anywhere present.
I will continue to amongst other household cleaning vacuum the carpet in the living room and the square in the entryway every business day before any day care children arrive. I have arranged to have the carpet cleaned in the near future as this was the time of year I had planned to do this anyway. I will continue to check Gavin for marks everyday before leaving his school with him and everyday before he leave my house.
I will not be using a blanket on the floor until and unless we have concrete proof that, a blanket on the carpet will help the problem and not hinder it.
Should you have any question or concerns about this matter please, use some form of in person communication, such as, calling on the phone or talking to me in person. Please DO NOT E-mail on this matter as I am not receiving your E-mails in a timely manner and cannot and will not commit to being able to check my e-mail in a timely manner.


Thank you

[Cat Herder]

Why would you prefer to not have documentation in the form of emails?

EDIT:

I also read your other post.. on your OP Dad gave written permission for you to disclose information to Girlfriend already. It was in a response to another letter you sent previously on this topic. Keep a copy of that in the childs file. I'd also recomend skipping that step in this communication to avoid making this bigger and more dramatic.

[daycare]

I guess where I am lost is why do you continue to write to the dad if you don't want him to write to you. CALL HIM

[Michael]

I know there were other threads regarding this but at first glance I wonder why everything is getting "legal"?. Do you have other children that do not have this problem in your care? If so, I would tell the father the problem does not originate from your home as an anomaly. Therefor it is his responsibility to seek professional help in dealing with his child's "condition".

[familyschoolcare]

Why would you prefer to not have documentation in the form of emails?

EDIT:

I also read your other post.. on your OP Dad gave written permission for you to disclose information to Girlfriend already. It was in a response to another letter you sent previously on this topic. Keep a copy of that in the childs file. I'd also recomend skipping that step in this communication to avoid making this bigger and more dramatic.

I do not whant e-mail communication because I am not recieving the e-mails untill a day after the fact and things have changed by then.

Yes, dad gave permision in an e-mail but I think i need something that he signed because I see the bio-mother every other week and she does not want me talking to the girl friend about her son.

[mom2many]

I know there were other threads regarding this but at first glance I wonder why everything is getting "legal"?. Do you have other children that do not have this problem in your care? If so, I would tell the father the problem does not originate from your home as an anomaly. Therefor it is his responsibility to seek professional help in dealing with his child's "condition".

This was exactly what I was thinking when I read other threads regarding this too. If others in your care or your own family are not experiencing these symptoms or problems, then it's clearly not coming from your home and must be related to this child's home instead. I would point this out to him and reassure him that you are doing everything on your end to maintain a clean and healthy environment.

[Heidi]

I know there were other threads regarding this but at first glance I wonder why everything is getting "legal"?. Do you have other children that do not have this problem in your care? If so, I would tell the father the problem does not originate from your home as an anomaly. Therefor it is his responsibility to seek professional help in dealing with his child's "condition".

Yep, if his child is the only one with bites, it's not from your house.

You've done more than enough. I think the email is too dramatic, too long.

Just send him a quick note:

Hey, Jim, I just wanted to let you know I checked with the health dept, and on their recomendation, set up some traps for fleas, etc. Turns out, the traps are empty.

I feel bad that Joey is getting bug bites, but apparently, it doesnt come from here. No other children here have had problems, either.

Good luck on this one! :-) Let me know if you figure it out!

***XX

[familyschoolcare]

I guess where I am lost is why do you continue to write to the dad if you don't want him to write to you. CALL HIM

I send a letter home with the girlfriend I do not see Dad. I guess I could add or have girlfriend had me a letter, the e-mails are not effective because by the time i get it things it is a day or two after the fact.

[laundrymom]

This sounds good.

Yep, if his child is the only one with bites, it's not from your house.

You've done more than enough. I think the email is too dramatic, too long.

Just send him a quick note:

Hey, Jim, I just wanted to let you know I checked with the health dept, and on their recomendation, set up some traps for fleas, etc. Turns out, the traps are empty.

I feel bad that Joey is getting bug bites, but apparently, it doesnt come from here. No other children here have had problems, either.

Good luck on this one! :-) Let me know if you figure it out!

***XX

[daycare]

I would send the above letter and call.

There's no reason why you should still be in the middle of this. The Childs bug bites have NOTHiNG to do with you or your DC/house.

Remove yourself from this situation.

[Nellie]

I will not be using a blanket on the floor until and unless we have concrete proof that, a blanket on the carpet will help the problem and not hinder it.

This sentense doesn't make to much sense. How would a blanket on the floor hinder the problem with his bug bites. I know that you said that it gets in the way, bunches up, and trips up kids. Be honest with him on why you won't put a blanket down. I don't know if the boy is mobile or not but put him on a recieving blanket. They are little enough for just the child. If he is moble and walk or crawls off---oh well. You put him on.

Just tell him as others stated that that the problem is not at your house.

[wdmmom]

Yep, if his child is the only one with bites, it's not from your house.

You've done more than enough. I think the email is too dramatic, too long.

Just send him a quick note:

Hey, Jim, I just wanted to let you know I checked with the health dept, and on their recomendation, set up some traps for fleas, etc. Turns out, the traps are empty.

I feel bad that Joey is getting bug bites, but apparently, it doesnt come from here. No other children here have had problems, either.

Good luck on this one! :-) Let me know if you figure it out!

***XX

Perfect response!!!!

[familyschoolcare]

So as suggested by daycare, I called Dad just know and spoke with him he was surprised that the traps did not catch anything and then quickly said that he was not trying to say that they came from my house. (It sure felt like it to me)
Over all the conversation went well. I was able to suggest that perhaps he (Dad) could suggest that mom ensure that her house does not have flees. As both times was a Monday after a Mom weekend and she has several fur animals.

[daycare]

Girl you sound just like me. I try so hard to make everyone happy and I hate Confortation. But as time goes on I realize I just want the fastest solution that will be best for everyone and for me to sleep at night.

Glad you got that dad off your back.

[BusyBee]

I guess where I am lost is why do you continue to write to the dad if you don't want him to write to you. CALL HIM

So that she has everything documented... If she calls him, it is "he said, she said". I would document as much as possible if I were in a conflict with a parent.