Do You Love Your Daycare Kids

[MomBoss]

Is it ok not to love your daycare kids?
i like them, i care for them, i want the best for them. I love my work. But a parent asked me the other day if i loved her son. She asks me random/weird questions all the time. She was just curious. I told her yes, that i love all the kids.
but honestly, i dont.
The way i love and my love language has always been different and complicated. Im very guarded with it. Its like i reserve my love to my children only and my close family.
when people say they love their daycare children as if they were their own, i always wondered how. How can the love be the same?

[Michael]

I think I would say that I CARE for all the children. I guess telling them what they need to hear, if harmless, is okay too.

[e.j.]

I can't say I love all of my daycare kids the way I love my own kids. There are and have been many who have stolen my heart, though, and I can't imagine loving them any more than if they were my own. I feel as though a piece of my heart goes with them when they age out of my program. There are those few kids, who because of behavioral issues, make it hard to love them but I try to care for them as I would have wanted my own kids treated. I'm just not as sad to see them go when they move on.

[Alwaysgreener]

Do I love some DCK, yes kinda, I feel more connected to some of them and bummed if they are not here for the day but do I want them here all the time? no!! When they leave, I mentally clock out from worrying about them because they are my job in the end, not my kids. So when kids tell me they love me, I tend to say Ooooh Thank you and give them a hug.


But then again, some put a smile on my face and a skip in my step when they stay home for the day for whatever reason and I try to refrain from looking too excited when they announce that they are leaving.

[girlmomma]

I would say I’m not bonded with some kids as I am with others.

[DaveA]

Nope- didn’t love a one of them in 28 years.

Enjoyed caring for them, liked them a lot (admittedly some more than others) and was happy to have the career I did. But fundamentally I did this to meet the needs of my family. When it made more sense for me to be in my shop full time the “I’m closing” letter went out.

Provided the best care I could for all of them. Hope they remember me happily (if at all). Like getting updates from the few former DCPs I’m on social media with. But “love” is not something I can say I ever really considered. That’s family only.

[sahm1225]

I do love them and care for them, but it’s definitely not the same as I love my own kids and nieces and nephews. When I first started, I felt that some of the kids were an extension of my family and those I did love. I went to school functions, I was their emergency pick up at school, etc. Then some families started taking advantage and interpreting my love for their children as it being my responsibility to do extra and when for health/family reasons I couldn’t, they got upset. A few years of me having really hurt feelings because I realized that no matter how much I loved and cared for the kids, some of the parents viewed me as just a business. So I’ve changed. I do have 3 kids from that original group that are still unofficially part of my family and I’m grateful for that. But now, the kids are my responsibility and I care for them, but I try to keep a barrier because eventually they’ll leave and I’ll be a blimp in their memories

[HatParty]

There are definitely little ones that I find myself looking forward to seeing again on Monday! They are frequently children of very busy moms and dads and crave being centered, heard, hugged etc so enjoy time at my home. These kids are often on "first in last out" type schedules and have a lot low-ratio time with me. I figure it's only natural to get attached but I do my best to keep professional boundaries for my own sanity!

[Blackcat31]

I do not love my daycare kids. I enjoy them (most of them) while they are in care but then they move on and that’s that.

If a daycare parent asked me if I loved their child I’d honestly tell them no, I don’t love them but I do care for their well being and development while I have them in care.
I’d also explain why I don’t love them.

As you said, MomBoss, love is reserved for family and those close to us in life but not necessarily the kids we provide care services to.
I don’t see it any different than a teacher/student relationship.

I get why parents think we should love their kid but in my honest opinion, it just doesn’t work that way. At least not for me.
sure there are providers that honestly do love their daycare kids but that’s just not how I run my business or how it works for me.
The providers that allow emotions to enter their business end up having unique issues that I don’t experience and I’m honest about that aspect of childcare upfront.

[CeriBear]

Yes, I love them but in not in the same way I love my own family. I care for the children in my class and am willing to do what I can for them. I’m all for giving hugs when needed and telling them I love them if that is what fills their cup. As with adults each child has his/her love language and as a caregiver I try to figure out what that language is and show them I love them in a way they respond. One little girl in my class is very affectionate and loves hugs and cuddles. Her love language is physical touch. Another little boy would squirm away from hugs and cuddles but would respond with a smile if I played blocks with him. His language is quality time. A couple of others are always asking me if I like their LEGO creations or their art work. (Words ) And the child who is always asking for help with a task may have acts of service as a love language. And the child who brings you that flower she picked on the ground may have gifts as a love language.
So yes, I love the kiddos but not in the same way I love my own family. I try to respond to them in the ways to best fill their cups.