I Have 4 DCMs Expecting

[sahm1225]

It’s funny because I’ve had vacant spots forever and only inquiries from families waving red flags for about a year. So here is my new dilemma… I have 4 that are expecting. Obviously, I won’t have room for all 4. Two are long term families, one started about 6 months ago, one started last week and specifically found me because both kids can be in one daycare.

The long term families - one won’t need care until end of the year and this is my golden family so we agreed to confirm plans in May and secure the spot. The last one won’t tell me due date when I specifically ask (I ask when in spring are you due? And she’ll reply very soon!).

I haven’t straight out asked what their childcare plans are because when they told me they were expecting, they said something along the lines of basically don’t ask because they didn’t know…

Here’s my dilemma - I don’t want to enroll infant. This is a family that is tolerable, but when the current child ages out, I will have a little party if you know what I mean. They’re exhausting. It feels like every few months I need to have a talk with them about rudeness and respecting me. Their excuse is that DCD is blunt, but there’s a line between blunt and rude and they cross it. It’s an uphill battle for everything. I’ll ask for diapers and they sigh because they JUST brought some. I will ask for back up clothes and they’ll sigh because now they have to do laundry. I send a child home sick and sigh, now they’ll have to waste a day at the doctors. Basically, tolerable but I don’t want to extend 3-4 more years until Infant ages out.

I may be overthinking this and who knows, they may pull the current child last minute (which is crappy but I’ll be fine). Do I just keep going and when they say ‘when can the baby start?’ Act shocked and say unmmm I’m full? Get ahead of it and let them now know that we’re at capacity?

[Annalee]

I have two moms expecting and I've told one of them they can check back when the child is one year of age.......I want no more than two under age of 1 but that's just me. I had three dcm expecting last spring and didn't take any of them due to no availability and one will be starting in June this year. He turns one this month; I've been in this a longgggg time and am trying to offer/do more of what I want than what others want....not selfish, just attempting to do things that make me happy and don't irritate me.

[Alwaysgreener]

I learned from my first pregnant dcm, if they don't say anything than they aren't staying. If they think they are, but didn't ask them they are going to be shocked when they hear me say there is no room or they have to wait to get started.

[sahm1225]

I’m thinking the same thing, that they’re planning on pulling when they have the baby. Homestky, that would be the best case scenario,

Another part of me thinks they feel entitled to a spot which will be a big shock when they realize nope

[Alwaysgreener]

sahm1225 So if you do not want them or care if they stay ignore (but prepare your answer if they assume there is room). If you do want them to stay, speak up and ask.

Parents think they are being sneaky hiding their plans but they all do the same thing.

[girlmomma]

I get the vibe they think they’re entitled to the spot and will be asking you very soon.

Do you advertise any openings or a waiting list? You could advertise you’re full and on a waitlist then list when your next opening will be.

[sahm1225]

I think so too. Or that they’re planning to move the 3 year old to free pre-K and think it’ll be a swap (ummmm no. Infants are more and we’re limited how many we can thaw).

I have been advertising and asked the families to spread the word and I am pretty sure they’ve been called as references.

I think the entitlement that I’ll just hold a spot with no money down is ridiculous, especially since infant spots in our area are very limited. Most centers do 15 months and up and the two that take infants are expensive and have a long wait list

[e.j.]

The last one won't tell me due date when I specifically ask (I ask when in spring are you due? And she'll reply very soon!).

I haven't straight out asked what their childcare plans are because when they told me they were expecting, they said something along the lines of basically don't ask because they didn't know

Here's my dilemma - I don't want to enroll infant. This is a family that is tolerable, but when the current child ages out, I will have a little party if you know what I mean. They're exhausting. It feels like every few months I need to have a talk with them about rudeness and respecting me. Their excuse is that DCD is blunt, but there's a line between blunt and rude and they cross it. It's an uphill battle for everything. I'll ask for diapers and they sigh because they JUST brought some. I will ask for back up clothes and they'll sigh because now they have to do laundry. I send a child home sick and sigh, now they'll have to waste a day at the doctors. Basically, tolerable but I don't want to extend 3-4 more years until Infant ages out.

I may be overthinking this and who knows, they may pull the current child last minute (which is crappy but I'll be fine). Do I just keep going and when they say 'when can the baby start?' Act shocked and say unmmm I'm full? Get ahead of it and let them now know that we're at capacity?

Based on your description, they sound miserable to have to deal with and you don't want to enroll their infant so, if it were me, I wouldn't see it as a dilemma at all. I'd look at it as the easiest way out of a difficult daycare relationship. You've asked what their plans are for the baby and they've basically told you not to ask because they don't know what their plans are. If, once the baby is born, they ask about enrolling the baby, I would say something like, "Oh, I'm so sorry! When I asked, you didn't know what your plans would be so I went ahead and filled my infant spot. Unfortunately, I don't have an infant spot available." I'd give them a list of providers in the area and wish them good luck - and be thrilled I didn't have to deal with their rudeness and disrespect another minute.

[sahm1225]

Based on your description, they sound miserable to have to deal with and you don't want to enroll their infant so, if it were me, I wouldn't see it as a dilemma at all. I'd look at it as the easiest way out of a difficult daycare relationship. You've asked what their plans are for the baby and they've basically told you not to ask because they don't know what their plans are. If, once the baby is born, they ask about enrolling the baby, I would say something like, "Oh, I'm so sorry! When I asked, you didn't know what your plans would be so I went ahead and filled my infant spot. Unfortunately, I don't have an infant spot available." I'd give them a list of providers in the area and wish them good luck - and be thrilled I didn't have to deal with their rudeness and disrespect another minute.

thank you! I’m actively interviewing at the moment. The dcd had the dreaded ‘they’re not sleeping at home it MUST be because of the nap at daycare’ conversation. Then seem shocked when I said ‘what do you with dck after daycare to burn energy?’ Apparently they do nothing and wonder why the child isn’t tired at naptime . But that just gave me an out. I need to find the replacement and then say that I agree that a newly 2 year old shouldn’t nap at all ♀️

[e.j.]

But that just gave me an out. I need to find the replacement and then say that I agree that a newly 2 year old shouldn’t nap at all ♀️

Yup; they don't know it but they're making termination easier for you to do. Good luck with your interviews. Hopefully you'll find a great replacement for this family soon.