Parents and Lack of Respect

[Guest]

I am a registered user but for some reason it isn't accepting my password and I've tried to reset but a link isn't being sent.
Maybe I'm getting more sensitive as I get older or maybe rude parents are just getting to me.
Would you get rid of a family due to parents just being inconsiderate? This family drops off and picks up says nothing unless it's about their child, no have a nice weekend or asking how wlour weekend was or I was sick and had to close and no response, they got it because they didn't show up. I feel like someone would want to be more communicative with someone who cares for their child for 9 hours a day. They have been with me for 2 years and it was good in beginning but last year it's just got so bad I hate dealing with them. I needed a signature on something and when she returned it she signed in wrong place and said I needed her to sign in right place and she acted like she was mad and rolled her eyes. I said I'm sorry the signature line is clear and she said oh I just forgot. Is this people right now and I being too sensitive? I do t expect to be someone's best friend but I do like to feel everyone enjoys each other or take your child some where else.

[Michael]

What username and email did you use in your registration? if you don’t want to make it public you can email me at director@daycare.com. Put Daycare Forum in the subject line.

[Michael]

No respect, no appreciation, and lack of empathy seem to be a sign of the times. Society is becoming overwhelmed and people have less patience with each other. I lived in NYC for years and the same thing was evident there until 911. Then people started looking at each other differently for a few years.

Since the pandemic, the pursuit of happiness is getting tougher and tougher for most. Things have got to change.

[Guest]

Yes times have changed for sure

[Michael]

I received your email and sent you a new password.

[Alwaysgreener]

First you are a business, if you get treated like one be happy some providers don't get treated like one. It just means you are doing something right for the family to see you as a business.

I roll my eyes when I have to sign a paper twice, It is not necessarily against the parson asking but against bureaucracy.

I am signed with the food program, all other paperwork I deal with can be electronic or copied but my fp rep insists all signatures need to be original and not electronic or copied. So I have to mail all forms into her vs sending by email. (What she doesn't know is that I use blue ink pens and copy in color. So sometimes she gets copies and never notices.)

Right now I am dealing with the families that walk in those that wait at the door. I find I have no problem with families that walk in, just those that walk around my house.


One way to avoid incorrect signings is to email a copy of the document for them to review. Tell them you will have a hard copy/ the original available to sign the week of xx. Then have a the copy available, highlight where they need to sign.

[Guest]

I just updated how everything will be signed but that's not really my issue it just the lack of this family ever responding to anything, not even asking how I am or how my weekend was, I feel like a childcare is more than a business, this is their child not a car that I'm detailing but their child who I care for, I would think they would want to at least want to know how I am or wish me a Merry Christmas, Im lucky if I get a small wave. When my kids were in care I wanted to know more about my provider, I didn't need to know every nook and cranny of her life but geez a waitress that sees me only for an hour knows more about me than this family that has been with me for 2 years.
I guess we're different if I had to sign a document in the "correct" spot that was clearly indicates I would not roll my eyes, I would apologize.

[Alwaysgreener]

I understand that you want more of a personal experience. I don't want others to think that we are friends and that get something special from me. I took care about the kids in and out of my care. But I don't expect the parents to care about my life. I want them to see me as a business and follow my policies, pay on time and get out the door.

However if you want to engage in small talk, then do so. I tell my parents about local kid friendly events, ask how the roads were, or talk about the weather. I do my best to not converse about personal stuff like my family or my self.

Things that I won't tolerate and things that you won't are going to be two different things. Unless they are down right rude to me, I would keep them but if you feel disrespected and don't like this working relationship, then term or at least mark your calendar to two weeks out to see if you have changed how you feel.

[sahm1225]

I am the same as you. I have 3 kids (youngest is in 6th). I WANT to know about their teachers. My youngest is in a special needs program so I want ti make sure they’re doing okay since I know how hard their job is and I appreciate them. I have parents that don’t even say hello, they just drop off. Then I implemented that they had to text for pick up because it is very uncomfortable to stand there with someone who won’t even greet me and I think it’s rude! So they started texting ‘here’ and then that irked me. So I sent out a notice saying that we are working together to teach their children manners and appropriate behaviors and explained that I would like them to say ‘good morning’ and ‘good afternoon/evening’ at pick up and drop off. Then I sent them how I want texts sent (I expect some type of greeting, like good morning or even hello). That’s helped tons!!

But to go back to your point. We’re asking for basic manners. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. As for the eye roll, that would’ve pissed me off, you don’t have to be rude because YOU messed up.

It’s sad because they also struggle with saying please and thank you and their kids are learning from them.

[e.j.]

People in general just seem to be less appreciative, less respectful and ruder than they used to be. Whether or not I'd term a family for being "inconsiderate" would depend on the circumstances. As long as they were paying me on time and respecting my policies, I wouldn't care if they wished me a nice weekend or asked how I was feeling after being ill. It would seem odd to me since I have a warm, friendly relationship with most of my parents. Most of them would ask or say those things but I wouldn't be offended enough to term a family over it if they didn't. I'd just assume they were lacking in social skills. As for responding to texts or emails, I always ask the parents to reply so I know they received my message so I don't have to send a follow up message or call them. I've never not received a reply. If it happened, after specifically asking for a reply, I'd have a conversation with the parents about the importance of good communication between us. A parent rolling her eyes at me for any reason would definitely lead to a conversation and I would consider letting her go. I don't like confrontations with parents but that would be a trigger for me. It's rude and disrespectful and I would only tolerate it that once without terming her.

[Guest]

Thank you, yes the eye rolling it caught me off guard so I said what I did and one of those things you think of later so a little late for that. This is the only family in my 20 + years who have a ted like this. I have always got the impression from them mainly mom that their daughter rules everything and it's all about her. Thankfully she's a good kid here and I really like their daughter and know she likes me. I think I will do that ask for a reply from now on so I know they received. Do you have that in your policy handbook or do you just put in each text?

[Alwaysgreener]

I do the same with text messages. I let them know x happened and I will be closed. Then I write Please respond to confirm you got this message.

I don't have a policy on this or document signing, it is just something I do to protect myself. When I opened I read a lot of comments, I sent home a form and they never brought it back. So I have always emailed a copy and had a hard copy available for signing.

[e.j.]

I don't have a formal policy in my handbook about texting - I just include it in the text. I rarely text parents for anything other than letting them know I have to close due to illness or some other unexpected emergency like the water main breaks or power outages we've had during the past year. I just want to make sure they receive notice so they don't show up at my door while I'm still in my pajamas!

[girlmomma]

Here’s another perspective: how are you sending the policy updates/info? Are you using an app, do you send a group text or email, do you post something?

I ask because I personally won’t reply/react (thumbs up) to messages where I know everyone is going to see it and get a notification. When I get practice reminders/updates, I just look at it, update it on my calendar and I move on. I don’t like “unnecessary” notifications from people just giving a thumbs up to the coaches message, so I don’t do it. LOL

I am 33YO and I think most of us are just overstimulated by our phones.

[Alwaysgreener]

That is a grand point. I don't share my families information, so I only use bcc for emails and send individual text messages. (Sometimes copy and paste, other times they are personalized for the family or child)

My sister and I just fought over this, I mute all group text because I don't need to hear all the dings when someone in the family likes or says ok to the message, especially when I am working. But that also means I don't see the message until I notice that the text is bumped up to the top of the list. Which in her eyes it was bad enough that she called me names.

[Guest]

As others have said, these parents if you sit & think about it are technically

[Guest]

(Can someone please remove my comment in this post, I am currently retyping it?) As others have said, these parent's are technically treating your childcare center/home as a business and nothing more because they feel that is what they are getting is a service and believe you are a business instead of a daycare provider and do not want to treat you as a friend etc because they must believe that you seperate business and personal. Please do not take this personal because as you get futher into the business you will come across people that's like this and that's perfectly acceptable. I wish people treated us as a business and not a friend

[Guest]

Here’s another perspective: how are you sending the policy updates/info? Are you using an app, do you send a group text or email, do you post something?

I ask because I personally won’t reply/react (thumbs up) to messages where I know everyone is going to see it and get a notification. When I get practice reminders/updates, I just look at it, update it on my calendar and I move on. I don’t like “unnecessary” notifications from people just giving a thumbs up to the coaches message, so I don’t do it. LOL

I am 33YO and I think most of us are just overstimulated by our phones.

I was sending each family a hard copy home and if it needed signed they would get a copy after returned, they were given a by time to return which was usually 2 days but this family kept loosing and forgetting. For closures they get several notices. One when it first comes out usually I do 3 times per year, then they would get a reminder in the monthly newslettrr then posted on door and still miss it, mainly this family.
I just started telling them I will only do through text or email they had to let me know which and to whom either both parents or one and anything that needs signed they DocuSign. Hopefully this helps

[girlmomma]

While it’s annoying when they show up during closures, that’s kind of on them. On days I’m closed, I stay upstairs until 8:30/9. If a parent does come, I won’t know it because I won’t hear the doorbell - unless my dogs do. LOL

[Alwaysgreener]

Oh the stories this board has about sending documents home and never getting them back. That is why I have always had a hard copy ready after one day of I forgot.

[Guest]

Exactly sahm1222 I just think you would want to know who is caring for your child. I don't expect to get intimate details but I have a family too it would be nice for them to at least have some respect and courtesy to know some about you

[Alwaysgreener]

Sometimes you can't have both. Yes my clients know my children names and some of my back story but I would never expect them to ask me anything not related to the services I provide.

My kids are now homeschooled but when my DD was in school the teachers would send a bio of themselves at the beginning of the school year. However when ever we talked it was about my DD not there family. This is a boundary that teachers put up.

Only one teacher did I know more about and still talk to and that was someone that I knew for years before. However during school or school related events my DD was the topic not her husband or kids.

[Guest]

(Can someone please remove my comment in this post, I am currently retyping it?) As others have said, these parent's are technically treating your childcare center/home as a business and nothing more because they feel that is what they are getting is a service and believe you are a business instead of a daycare provider and do not want to treat you as a friend etc because they must believe that you seperate business and personal. Please do not take this personal because as you get futher into the business you will come across people that's like this and that's perfectly acceptable. I wish people treated us as a business and not a friend

I in no way ever make people treat me as a business opposed to a child care. I make it very clear in my btours how I work and how I like parent involvement. I explain we are more like a small family.
This family I believe is a set because I had to get on them about paying on the due date. They had paid on time for about a year and then suddenly I wasn't getting payment on the due date but I always knew they were good for it so I wouldn't say anything expecting they would pay by pickup time because things happen, by the following morning I would have to ask for payment and this started becoming every single week and even to the point where it was on Wednesday morning So after a.fee weeks.of this I had a talk with them and said that payment needed to be paid on the due date per the contract and to refer back too it.
And ever since that time is when it seemed like they got annoyed and didn't understand payment being due on that date he made a reference that he was busy on Monday mornings and I said well you can always schedule your zell payment the night before or for that morning and you don't have to worry about it. Anyways that's when it kind of started except for the lack of returning documents and forgetting days off and so forth that's always been an issue.
We have day care get togethersnso we can all get to know each other too and everyone loves it

[girlmomma]

I never assume someone is good for it. People who appear rich/wealthy on the outside usually aren’t because they’re overspending to keep up with appearances.

I had this same issue with payment due day with my favorite client. Supposedly, they forgot. But they would never forget to drop off their kid on Monday, right? There was a holiday that threw off my deposits and I didn’t get them for several days. I updated my contract to state payment is due Sunday by 5 PM. They are charged a late fee Sunday evening. They are turned away at the door Monday morning if I don’t have payment.

[e.j.]

Yeah...sounds as though he didn't like being called out for paying late so he's going to "show you!" by having an attitude. Pretty immature stuff. If it bothers you too much, get rid of them. If you can shrug it off and even see the humor in all of it, keep them. I think it really depends on how much it affects you and how much you're willing to take from them. I have had families in the past that ticked me off enough to want to get rid of them. I kind of edged them out the door before they realized they were being let go. No anger because they didn't see it coming and thought it was their idea.

[Alwaysgreener]

I agree with girlmomma, it is all about judging a book by it's cover. I laugh when people assume that I am wealthy because we pay for things with cash. We do that because we try to stay debt free not because we have extra cash laying around.

[Alwaysgreener]

I in no way ever make people treat me as a business opposed to a child care. I make it very clear in my btours how I work and how I like parent involvement. I explain we are more like a small family.
This family I believe is a set because I had to get on them about paying on the due date. They had paid on time for about a year and then suddenly I wasn't getting payment on the due date but I always knew they were good for it so I wouldn't say anything expecting they would pay by pickup time because things happen, by the following morning I would have to ask for payment and this started becoming every single week and even to the point where it was on Wednesday morning So after a.fee weeks.of this I had a talk with them and said that payment needed to be paid on the due date per the contract and to refer back too it.
And ever since that time is when it seemed like they got annoyed and didn't understand payment being due on that date he made a reference that he was busy on Monday mornings and I said well you can always schedule your zell payment the night before or for that morning and you don't have to worry about it. Anyways that's when it kind of started except for the lack of returning documents and forgetting days off and so forth that's always been an issue.
We have day care get togethersnso we can all get to know each other too and everyone loves it

They see you as a friend not as a business and that is why they got mad at you for not letting them get away with paying later and later.

You need to act like a child care business to be treated like one.

My policies read xx child care will charge late fees... Xx child care does not give medication.. and so forth. I have been told during tours that my website (policies) looks like it was written by a lawyer.

My clients pay by the Friday Before Care not the Monday Morning. My mind is somewhere else to demand payment Monday morning, it is easier to send late fees on Sunday than to refuse service at the door on Monday. Others can do the turn away at the door for lack of payment but I don't want to.

You all have to find what works for you. But the biggest complaints I see is they didn't treat me this way. Well do you want to be walked over or respected?



My sister had a child care years before me, she wanted to be everyone friend. Her policy was to charge after care but only for the time the child was in care because when she had her oldest in care she didn't like paying the flat fee.

Well guess what, she got that family that would only drop off when they didn't have family or friends available and she would only have the child for 10 hours out of 60 hours a week that she was open. When she decided to quit, she told all the families that she would keep going until they found different care.

Guess what happened, they didn't want to pay another provider for a full week of care so they "took their time" and never found care. When my sister found another job months later, she had to give them notice because they still were coming but just randomly through out the week. They were walking all over her and did not respect her. Can you guess why she quit?



When I opened she said my policies were to strict, that I should only charge when the child was here in care. When I tell her that parents pay on time, she was surprised.



I run a small business that offers a child care service, the families that hire my business service are clients not friends. My business has policies and no feelings. I have feelings and no policies. If a parent is disrespectful of me not my business, then my business has a policy that allows the family to be termed.