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Tell Me Your "Nightmare Parent" Story

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  • Tell Me Your "Nightmare Parent" Story

    What's the worst experience you've ever had with a family? How did it end? Do you know what the family is doing now for childcare?

  • #2
    I would but I'm trying to forget about it ::

    The end of July makes a year since they left and I STILL get all riled up thinking about it!

    Of course it wasn't cut and dry that they were gone. Oh heck no! I just finalized things in court in April.

    "Trying" to move past it now that it isn't lingering over my head for 10 months ugh!

    ETA: Didn't end well, needless to say, and I honestly don't care what they are doing for childcare. That sounds mean. I do wonder how the kids are, but I have SUCH a bad taste is my mouth over the whole thing I don't even like to hear their names! My own kids ask about them sometimes and I immediately change the subject


    • #3
      I was just starting out (I started babysitting friends' children before getting more serious) so I contracts and releases but they had loop holes and I wasn't practiced in the business end.

      The dcm signed a contract agreeing to the hours, rate etc. They would drop the kids off right at opening time, without shoes (we lived in the same complex) and often they hadn't eaten or even been potty yet that day. They would stay all day while mom played on fb and slept off hangovers. At the end of the month she couldn't pay. She owed my $1000 and tried to buy me food with her food stamps in order to pay (no way!). She payed it back over a month and then I started watching the kids again (if they weren't with me I knew they were with older sis who was too young (12 but overwhelmed) for that type of responsibility and had drugged them (4 and 2yo) with sleeping pills to make them quiet. I called CPS on the family several time. The mom couldn't set rules or boundaries with the kids. The 2yo would scream all night so she didn't have to go to bed and could watch a movie (generally granted around 3am, I could hear from my apartment).

      It was a nightmare. Those poor sweet kids needed structure and stability and I wanted to help them but it got to where I had to step back for the sake of my kids and myself.

      I saw the youngest at a park with of boys and girls club field trip recently, broke my heart seeing her, hope her mom is getting it together. I know mom left their dad for someone else and is now single. She has two older kids I didn't watch (11 and 13yo) who have lived in 5 different "dads" homes in the last 10 year... I just wanted to adopt those kids so bad...


      • #4
        My worst won't be nearly as bad as some of yours as I run a very small daycare usually with just one or two families at a time.

        I had a mom whose little boy started here when he was 16 months old. She was a teacher. He loved being here with the other kids and was really well behaved. Very sweet and cuddly, etc. I only had him two or three days a week. She would call me last minute to tell me she had decided to take him to grandma's (the other sitter) instead. She would "forget" the lunch she was supposed to bring him. She would come in the mornings and he would immediately reach for me, then turn his back to her and ignore her. So she would start with "He is mad at me for bringing him here!" "He cried for two hours this morning because he wanted to go to my mom's instead of coming here!" "I wish I could be a sahm and play with him all day but I want better for him!" I knew she was lying but figured it made her feel better but over time it hurt my feelings to be talked to like that.

        They were relatives of a family friend and coworker of mine at my other job. They were having a rough time with getting a new home built and having to live with her inlaws for a year. I felt sorry for them so I allowed it to go on. There was one day that everyone forgot to pick him up. One day that she changed her day off and just didn't show up. I spent more than an hour on the phone trying to find her because I was scared to death they had been in an accident. Twice she went 6 weeks without paying me but telling me she would leave it in my mailbox, send it home with my son, etc. The second time she owed me for 6 weeks AND called me 10 minutes past the time he should be here to tell me she had taken him to her mom's instead I gave notice. (and I learned A LOT from this experience!)

        Her son is in school full time now but she has another child and her sister watches her.


        • #5
          I've had several families who have parted ways with me either my choice (never on their own ) but one stands out as the worst & I still cringe (can almost laugh) when I see their family mostly because their kid still acts the way he did when he was here. He's the "cry wolf" boy & he whines & complains/cries when he doesn't get his way or thinks something is unfair. We were recently at a birthday party where this family was there too & the boy (age 6 now) was whining because he got hit by a water balloon during a water balloon fight . Anyway, termed the family because the dad got verbally loud & angry with me one day at drop off mostly because they thought the son was being bullied by my kids (wasn't happening). I was proud of myself for standing up to them & saying I wouldn't put up with THEM bullying me. Funny thing was they insisted he was being bullied but didn't want to change day cares until I termed & then I was the devil for terming & both parents called & left me nasty voicemail messages about how unprofessional I was to term . I hold my head high when I see them as I did nothing wrong. I feel sorry for the kid's teachers/sports coaches as I know he acts the same way & the parents allow it.


          • #6
            I wrote a whole thing about a nightmare parent. Grrr. It didn't post.

            Well, let's just say it ended in a CPS call stating all kinds of awful things I allegedly did to the kids, a letter that sunk the parent's ship of lies, and CPS spinning their heads around.

            And unfortunately, sad to say, there was really an issue later on that another provider discovered and called me (from her forms that asked prev provider name/number) about.

            Let's see if I can bullet the red flags I missed, bc I was new.

            1. Forms- the parents didn't want to fill out
            2. Parent had issue that I was a transporting daycare; adv her she had other options, she finally agreed it was ok to transport
            3. missing payments and got behind
            4. would skip daycare for days at a time w/o calling
            5. would drop off crying (not the DCG)
            6. Asked for FREE care of sibling
            7. DCG always had constipation issues, but no known medical reason
            8. DCG didn't know boundaries of privacy and would barge in on you in the bathroom (could not keep locks on the doors due to regulations at that time)
            9. DCM stated there was no privacy in the home, and DCG alleges that included them seeing step dad
            10. VERY long hours here, 5:30am-4:30pm if designate p/u; 5:30am-8:30pm if not.
            11.When I refused to allow for FREE care of sbiling, grew a backbone and stated they must be caught up AS WELL AS pay 2 weeks in advance (i.e. enforcing contracts) they chose to call CPS and make up stuff, yet they told me they would do it BECAUSE I refused to take the child until they were compliant with said contract.

            And things got worse for THEM after they left daycare...unfortunately, there was abuse I missed, but the new more experienced provider caught and reported. Thankfully.


            • #7
              My nightmare parent story is in the private section, but I logged out to share with you.

              Mine is also still somewhat "fresh" to me. It happened 5 months ago. There were two kids, a 4yo dcb and 8 month old dcg. Family had been with me for 11 months. They were my problem family.

              Dcb was a nightmare! Spoiled/babied beyond belief. Constantly throwing massive tantrums!! I was just trying to make it through to august with him until he went to school.

              Mom was rude and entitled. Constantly paying late. Constantly picking up late. Kid were here EVERY SINGLE DAY, even when both parents were off work. Even during a snowstorm when NOBODY else came to daycare. Always making little comments about how expensive daycare is and annoying thngs like that. Tried to drop off an hour early one day without asking and when I turned them away at the door, I got yelled at by her over the phone. I could go on and on.

              I eventually updated my contracts and put in there that late fees start at contracted pick up time. I let them know the highlights of what had changed and gave them a little over 3 weeks to go over it and decide if they were going to continue under the new contract or leave. DCM comes in on the morning it was due filling out the papers.

              About a week later DCD was late picking up and I let him know there was a late fee. DCM freaked out that I charged a late fee and threatened to pull the kids. I basically told her don't forget to submit your 2 weeks notice and never heard another word about it.

              Then, the straw the broke the camel's back. it was a Thursday afternoon and Dcg started running a fever (101). Called for pickup and for some reason BOTH parents left work to pick up together and took DCG to the ER. Got a text from DCM a little while later that doctor said DCG was fine, had no fever, and she would give me a note tomorrow. I told her no, she can't come back tomorrow, policy is fever free for 24 hours. DCM FLIPPED! I termed with one week notice. DCM kept it up and I termed her immediately the next day.

              Followed by a call to DHS, bashing my daycare on facebook and craigslist, writing a bad review on yahoo, threatening and insulting texts for two days straight, a complaint to the BBB, More threatening texts and emails, and then it all died out.

              Never got in trouble with dhs, never went to court (she was threatening to sue me), nothing. Just a bunch of big talk. I often wonder where the kids ended up, but I'm really glad the family is gone.


              • #8
                Originally posted by CraftyMom View Post
                I would but I'm trying to forget about it ::

                The end of July makes a year since they left and I STILL get all riled up thinking about it!

                Of course it wasn't cut and dry that they were gone. Oh heck no! I just finalized things in court in April.

                "Trying" to move past it now that it isn't lingering over my head for 10 months ugh!

                ETA: Didn't end well, needless to say, and I honestly don't care what they are doing for childcare. That sounds mean. I do wonder how the kids are, but I have SUCH a bad taste is my mouth over the whole thing I don't even like to hear their names! My own kids ask about them sometimes and I immediately change the subject
                Wow! Court? Must have been a money issue.


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Wednesday View Post
                  What's the worst experience you've ever had with a family? How did it end? Do you know what the family is doing now for childcare?
                  The worst was a family with a hard to handle child and he was a super climber (escape artist). The child was hard but I could have lived with that and did really. I didn't term. I can't remember now why they left but the worst part was that this couple owned a lawn cutting/landscaping service and hired my son. We did 'not' trade grass cutting for childcare. I kept them separate.

                  Mom was always sweet and ran interference for dad when he was sometimes jerky. I had to practically beg him to cut my grass. They always paid their childcare bill though. Then my son worked and started not getting all his pay or sometimes none of it with promises the guy would get his pay caught up. In the meantime he told my son about expensive things he bought yet he couldn't pay my son!

                  So I got someone else to cut my grass and my son quit. They left my childcare with money not owed to me but to my son and it looked like he would never get it. They weren't upset with childcare and left but for some other reason, can't remember. Maybe they moved I think.

                  When child's grandmother (irresponsible dad's mom) found out about my son not getting paid she called me. She said she was so embarrassed that her son owed my son money and said she was so grateful that I took care of her grandson so well so she paid my son what he was owed. How wonderful as it was not her responsibility!

                  So all was well in the end but wow what drama with that family!



                  • #10
                    I think my worst family was "The Dalton Gang" These 2 boys were 2 and 3. They only lasted about 8 weeks. I really don't know how we made it that long. These 2 boys beat each other up, others, mom, toys, baby sister, and anything within reach.
                    Oh how I tried to help out. Mom left dad because he was beating her, they were living in a travel trailer, 3 kids under 3 1/2, and mom seemed to be trying to make things better.

                    These boys were just getting worse and then mom lets it slip that, she had been letting the boys go to dad on the weekends because she just couldn't handle them (explains the behavior). Shortly after that tidbit of info mom announces she is prego, yep by dad. She'd been visiting on weekends too.

                    Gave them their 2 week notice (mom begged me not to term) and on their last day I packed all their stuff waved goodbye, shut the door, and high fived my daughter happyface, only to have mom walk back in to ask me to reconsider (right in the middle of my high five) .

                    We still talk about The Dalton Gang (14 yrs later), so sad to think that they are probably in jail.


                    • #11
                      Speaking of jail.....
                      I had a child (9yo), when I still operated a center, who was school age and out.of.control. Raised by grandparents because mom was a total mess with drugs/alcohol/crime, etc. His younger sister had fetal alcohol syndrome, so there's no telling what she did while pregnant with him. Anyway...

                      The final straw was when he threw a fist sized rock and it came within about 6 inches of hitting me in the head. While escorting him out of the room and into the hallway, he punched a framed picture on the wall, breaking the glass and making the entire thing come crashing down (it was BIG).

                      Fast forward 5 years, I was at the juvenile detention center for something completely unrelated to daycare and as I waited in the lobby, an officer came out of the lock up area escorting this same kid to the visitor's area. He was dressed in orange and shackled at his hands and ankles. I just wanted to cry. This child was a direct product of his mother's mistakes as a parent and it will follow him for the rest of his life.


                      • #12
                        Implied I bruised her child horribly. Tried to dictate everything I did. Asked me to reimburse her for formula when i got on the food program. Wanted me to be on call but not pay when she didn't come. Didn't want to sign a contract. Wanted me to foot the cost of background checks for anyone coming in but then would hang out for 30-45 minutes at pick up and observe. Wouldn't manage her preschoolers behavior because this was an ANGEL CHILD and sooooo special and MY LORDY she could NEVER do ANYTHING wrong!!


                        • #13
                          I had a parent who was leaving due to going back to school and needed later hours than I provide. A few days later mentions she needs to contact the new daycare and ask her to stay open later, she previously told me the new daycare closed at 6 . Then she says her school hours are such and such days , later they were different days and different hours . There were actually too many lies to keep straight . She would always tell me how much she hated kids .
                          Backed into my mailbox and broke it , always saying they would come on the weekend to fix it but never came .
                          Refused to come get her dd because she was sick and could not drive and then was mad because I charger her a late fee . Did not even care that my kids had to miss their karate class.
                          On her last day of care she raved about how happy she was with my care and hated to leave etc... . On her way home she started texting other parents offering to watch all their kids and for them to leave me .
                          Then she went off on me because I told her she needed to come to my house to pick up her tax info and sign off on the paperwork confirming the amount .


                          • #14
                            I've been pretty lucky over the years. I think it's because I tend to get families through word of mouth vs. by advertising to the general public. The few who have come to me because they saw my listing on the state's website have been the ones I've had the most trouble with.

                            I had one woman who enrolled her two kids with me. Within the first week, told me not to nap her dd because she was having trouble falling asleep at night. I tried to honor her request but her dd was literally falling asleep on my kitchen table. She wasn't happy when I explained that I had to allow her to nap if she needed one. During the second week of care, the mother dropped off the kids and then told me not to be surprised if someone from the sherriff's department showed up looking for the kids. Apparently, she had recently remarried and moved back to this state without letting the kids' father (who had joint custody) know that she was taking them with her. Unfortunately for her, my brother's ex-wife had just done the same to him. I wasn't amused. At pick up time, I explained that things weren't working out and suggested she might want to look for another day care. The kids are older now. I had heard that the boy eventually went back to live with his dad. The girl was living with her mother and stepfather and, at age 16, was arrested a couple of times for domestic violence.

                            Another Dcm enrolled her 4 year old in my day care and the first day she dropped her off, she explained that her 16 yr old dd would be dropping off from now on. She further explained that this was the same girl who had been reported missing all summer (posters were up all over town) but that she had recently returned home. I was a little surprised when her teen showed up dressed in Goth clothing and makeup but she was polite and personable so I decided to keep an open mind and not judge. When dcm asked to pick up the 4 yr old a half hour later than we had agreed upon, it was an inconvenience for me but I told her I'd try it and if it became a problem, we'd have to revisit the issue. After a week or so of dcm showing up an hour late each day, I was trying to figure out how to tell her it wasn't working out for me. As I was working up the courage to say something, she asked me to keep an eye on her 4 year old's behavior for her. She was concerned because she found out the older dd was watching **** movies with her in the morning before dropping her off at my house and she was afraid she might start to act out. So was I! I told her I couldn't work late anymore and asked her to please find another day care.
                            Last edited by e.j.; 07-05-2014, 01:21 PM. Reason: I guess p-o-r-n is a naughty word?


                            • #15
                              Had two siblings, age dcb1.5yr and dcg3yr for almost 4 weeks. They arrived at rest time and were suppose to be here for 2 hours a day, parents work hours overlapped.

                              The two siblings were out of control!
                              Woke up every child from nap, every. day.
                              Dcm came early every day, and refused early arrival payments.
                              Dcd came late every day, and refused late fees.
                              Dcd started showing up at pick up with work buddies that would google me and my teenage daughters. I felt like a lamb chop being eye'd by the big bad wolf.

                              Payment was late twice, and when I terminated during our trial, dcm got mad and verbally threatened me, and stopped payment on a check that hadn't gone through yet. Mind you it was a check that was paid late by two weeks.
                              When I sent a letter in the mail of payment demand, and all added expenses I would ask for if court action was required, she sent back a threat to report me for bogus stuff, (like not having the children play in my fenced in yard at all times).

                              Had to take them to small claims court, which they didn't show up and had to keep getting rescheduled until the third court date.

                              The good thing though, because they didn't show, it was an automatic win for me, and I was awarded my case with all additional charges that added up to 3
                              x's the bounced check amount, that the judge demanded dcd pay, or go to the house of correction.

                              Still.....what a nightmare! Live and learn.


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