Screaming One yr old

[hope]

I have a one yr old dcg that is very stubborn. This week her behavior has gotten so bad that I have been reporting to mom and asking for suggestions. Dcg refuses to eat by screaming and throwing food. Mom says it's bc she is teething. I disagree bc she is begging for cookies, candy and sweets. She has been screaming over every little thing that bothers her. Normally I would find ways to calm her down or have her sit till the screaming stops but this week it doesn't stop. She will go on for an hour. When I tried to have a discussion about it yesterday dcm said it was bc she was having a BM problem. This morning dcg won't eat, won't nap, won't play and has screamed most of the short time she has been here. I plan on giving dcg till 10 am to eat and if she won't I will call for pick up.
My question is....how do I express to dcm that dcg needs to be checked by her doctor AND they need to start working on this problem instead of excusing it. I don't want to term. I want to resolve this.

[NightOwl]

For all dcm knows, the baby has a raging ear infection! Unusual screaming is a sign that something is wrong, that she's in pain or feeling sick. I would insist that she take her to the Dr. If it was just an off day, that's one thing. But screaming all week is something totally different and she needs to be checked out.

[playground1]

Tell you'd like to make an appt to speak with her about it and find a resolution. Don't ask her, tell her.

As far as dcg, it could very well be her teeth but throwing food is just not acceptable. Try some foods that will help her with her teething and see if that helps. I don't know what regs are where you live, can you give her Tylenol or something?

[playground1]

For all dcm knows, the baby has a raging ear infection! Unusual screaming is a sign that something is wrong, that she's in pain or feeling sick. I would insist that she take her to the Dr. If it was just an off day, that's one thing. But screaming all week is something totally different and she needs to be checked out.

Well, generally she would have a fever if she has an ear infection, right? Is it unusual for her to scream so much?

[hope]

Screaming for this one is normal when she does not get her way. She is better for me than she is her parents. Every morning she comes in hitting her mom. She would never do that with me. She used to throw food here but that stopped months ago. Parents say it still happens at home. There are a lot of bad behaviors that she does at home but have stopped here. Their parenting style is.....let's make excuses and feel bad for the child. Dcg is always teething, has an upset tummy, BM problems, yet doesn't show any signs of these.
This week I tried feeding dcg everything. I went through my whole fridge and cabinets offering her different things. She is on a hunger strike. She wants sweets. She points to the cabinet I keep all the treats in. I can't tell if she is in any pain or discomfort bc she will stop screaming to play out of no where. Most of her screaming is due to me telling her no for something. I honestly believe that she is testing yet again and this fight is just lasting longer than her past fits bc she is older. Problem is that she is so stubborn that it lasts all day and over everything. It is driving me and the other kids crazy. I have been in a bad mood all week and am drained by pick up time. I need them to work with me.

[Indoorvoice]

If you do think it is a sickness, just tell mom you are concerned about her sudden change of behavior and that she can come back to your care once she has had a check up. If you think the dcg is just testing you because she isn't used to hearing no, it's probably worth it to sit down with dcm and talk about a plan. I had to do this with 2 of my 1 year olds. Parents don't realize how much a one year old is capable of understanding and controlling their behavior. I told them that I understood how at home it is easier to just give them what they want to stop them from crying, but in group care, that isn't possible. I told them I wanted to teach them how to accept "no" so that the child wasn't miserable all day in my home, but that I needed their help to be consistent. When worded so that it sounds like you want to benefit the child, families are usually more willing to hear you out.

[KiddieCahoots]

If you think it's all about stubbornness, and "no", do you think the parents would be willing to work with you to set some limits?

Like mentioned in a pp, I'd try the meeting and see if it helps.

[cheerfuldom]

It doesnt sound like the parents are willing to change anything but if it makes you feel better, give it one more discussion and YOU tell them what plan will be put into place. If you dont see progress within two weeks, you will need to have them move onto a new daycare.

But I also think you are making it worse.....I would NEVER go thru my cabinets trying to find something a one year old would eat. I would offer one meal, if they dont eat it, I would take them from the table and not offer a thing till the next meal. Every time they throw a tantrum, I would separate them from the group and let them scream as long as they want....either in a PNP in a separate room or in a "cry corner" in the same room. I would IGNORE all screaming behavior until she gives up. I personally would not even try to involve parents, either I can deal with it at daycare or I would term. I dont think you are going to get much more out of these parents.

[hope]

I spent the Whole morning texting mom to update on her child. I finally told her that she needed to have dcg checked bc I need to know if something is truly wrong. She could be in pain or not feeling well and I need to react Accordingly. Dcg gave in and ate some breakfast and is now napping. I told her if she doesn't eat lunch or doesn't stop screaming she will be called for pick up.
Not sure if I mentioned that dcg has been sleeping so much this week and dcm tells me to wake her up. I told dcm this morning that dcg's sleeping is another reason I think something is off. I really don't know what is going on but it's not fair to anyone to let this go on. Let's see how this afternoon goes. Glad it's friday!!!!

[KiddieCahoots]

I spent the Whole morning texting mom to update on her child. I finally told her that she needed to have dcg checked bc I need to know if something is truly wrong. She could be in pain or not feeling well and I need to react Accordingly. Dcg gave in and ate some breakfast and is now napping. I told her if she doesn't eat lunch or doesn't stop screaming she will be called for pick up.
Not sure if I mentioned that dcg has been sleeping so much this week and dcm tells me to wake her up. I told dcm this morning that dcg's sleeping is another reason I think something is off. I really don't know what is going on but it's not fair to anyone to let this go on. Let's see how this afternoon goes. Glad it's friday!!!!

Oh.. sorry you are going through this. A day is bad enough, a week....
I don't have much advice, think I'd be doing just what you are doing now.
Hang in there!

[Blackcat31]

I would not try and guess. I would not accept guess from the parent.

It's actually quite simple. If the child displays behaviors that are out of the norm for more than one day, she needs to be excluded from care until she is able to participate as normal.

If DCM wants to bring her to the Dr (which I personally would) then she can but as the provider, I ONLY require the child to be able to participate as normal.

Normal can mean many different things for each child but ANY time one of my DCK's displays abnormal behavior for more than one day....I inform parents and leave it up to them to decide what to do.

As far as Tylenol goes...NO WAY would I just dose a kid up without knowing what the issue was. WAY too much liability for my comfort.

[hope]

I would not try and guess. I would not accept guess from the parent.

It's actually quite simple. If the child displays behaviors that are out of the norm for more than one day, she needs to be excluded from care until she is able to participate as normal.

If DCM wants to bring her to the Dr (which I personally would) then she can but as the provider, I ONLY require the child to be able to participate as normal.

Normal can mean many different things for each child but ANY time one of my DCK's displays abnormal behavior for more than one day....I inform parents and leave it up to them to decide what to do.

As far as Tylenol goes...NO WAY would I just dose a kid up without knowing what the issue was. WAY too much liability for my comfort.

Good advice. Dcm suggested that I give her Tylenol but I don't administer medicine for any reason. I told her that if dcg needs to be medicated then dcg needs to be home. Dcg has slept from 9:30 this morning. Waiting to see how she is when she wakes.

[SignMeUp]

You do not necessarily have a fever with an ear infection, not even a bad ear infection.
Mine had ear infections frequently till age 2 1/2. Also had problems with high fevers, over 105 degrees. But strangely, never had a fever with an ear infection.
I knew when there was one though - whenever child threw tantrums and threw itself backwards on the floor, it was an ear infection
It took me a while to figure that out

[NightOwl]

Well, generally she would have a fever if she has an ear infection, right? Is it unusual for her to scream so much?

Yes usually. But my own ds used to have ear infections where he never had a fever. So it's not a guarantee that this child would have one.

[Blackcat31]

You do not necessarily have a fever with an ear infection, not even a bad ear infection.
Mine had ear infections frequently till age 2 1/2. Also had problems with high fevers, over 105 degrees. But strangely, never had a fever with an ear infection.
I knew when there was one though - whenever child threw tantrums and threw itself backwards on the floor, it was an ear infection
It took me a while to figure that out

I have several DCK's that never get a fever with an ear infection. Instead I recognize their symptoms...

I had one I sent home on Tuesday for behaving "odd".

No temp, ate fine but slept alot and was abnormally "cranky".

Turns out they had strep.

So, yeah... you just never know.