UPDATE!! on Tough Call...Long Story Post

[Blackcat31]

Ok, I was totally stressing about this situation and I decided that the only thing I had the power to do to help these boys (if needed) was to simply just ask the mom what was up. So dcm comes in this morning and I just said, “Hey, *** can I ask you a very personal question?” She says yeah, and so I basically laid it all out and said I was genuinely concerned and just wanted to make sure everyone was ok. Since her kid(s) have come here for so long, I felt we had a pretty good relationship. The good news?!? Turns out everyone is fine ….and clean! Several things have been going on, but none is what I suspected. Mom works nightshift now, which she wasn’t before so I wasn’t aware of the change. Dad is having a bit of trouble with depression and is being treated for it and it has been a tough road, but both are willing to talk about it and are in counseling. He is also working some night shifts and has a full-time day job so the weird, long, various work hours explains the pj’s during all hours. She also said that she is very open about her past and she told me she does still have to take random tests to make sure she stays clean. She said if I want to know anything just ask because they are glad to share and love support anywhere they can get it. She also said a friend (shady ppl) who is also working on changing their life has been flopping on their couch while they try to get him to regularly attend their support meetings, which she said they do 3-5 times per month. I feel so much better that I just asked her. I told her I was worried and I felt bad about assuming stuff. She told me she and her boys love me and appreciate the concern. She then went to work and when she picked up today, both her and the dad came in. They told me again that they were so happy I asked because they feel better being able to be open about everything all and are glad that I am willing to be supportive for them. They said that they never came right out and said anything because who walks around going, “Hey guess what I used to do.....” KWIM? So anyways, then they gave me some info about their support group and told me again how much they appreciate that I care so much about them! Then before they left both dcm and dcd hugged me! WHAT AN AWESOME WAY TO END THE WEEK!!!!


Thanx to everyone who offered advice and support for me when I was busy worrying! This is an awesome forum! Thanks everyone! Hope the weekend is good for all!!

[SilverSabre25]

AWESOME!!! In my hormonal state, that actually brought tears to my eyes, . That is so great that they're so willing to be so open and forthcoming with you and that the appreciate you so much. And that you care enough to notice, and then to actually have the guts to ask. GO YOU!!!

And while we're at it, GO THEM! for getting their lives back on track and apparently, keeping them that way!

[ninosqueridos]

oh what a great ending to that story - wow! So great that they appreciate your concern for their family

[misol]

I am very glad that everything turned out OK. Now you can enjoy your weekend without the worry or stress.

[nannyde]

Does your State fund day care for when the parents are not working? Do they pay for day care when the parent is sleeping between shifts? Did they tell you why they are using the maximum hours of child care during the day shift while they are working night shift?

My State randomly requests copies of actual work hours and then compares them to the hours billed in day care. If they don't match up the provider doesn't get paid by the State.

Who is watching the children while the parents work and why do they need you during the days they are not working? Them being clean was a given to me in this situation... I wouldn't expect anything short of that answer...

My concern as the provider would be making sure they are not using State paid day care illegally. With two kids that can get into thousands of dollars (Grand Theft) really quick. I would notify their worker IMMEDIATELY to make sure they actually audit the Mom's (if that is who is accessing funding) work hours. The Mom is telling you she is NOT working every day during the day and you have told us the kid IS coming every day from start to stop. Something is NOT adding up here. Notify their worker and make sure she is doing it right and paying for anything that she doesn't need. The taxpayers of the State will thank you kindly.

[missnikki]

Nannyde,
As a taxpayer I can see where you are coming from- I agree that the system is in place to allow struggling people the chance to make a living, not to be taken advantage of. I can only hope she heard you the first time you had that concern, and has it under control.

And Blackcat31,
WAY TO GO. That is a great way to end the week. I think I'm going to spend the weekend in my PJ's to celebrate!

[QualiTcare]

Does your State fund day care for when the parents are not working? Do they pay for day care when the parent is sleeping between shifts? Did they tell you why they are using the maximum hours of child care during the day shift while they are working night shift?

My State randomly requests copies of actual work hours and then compares them to the hours billed in day care. If they don't match up the provider doesn't get paid by the State.

Who is watching the children while the parents work and why do they need you during the days they are not working? Them being clean was a given to me in this situation... I wouldn't expect anything short of that answer...

My concern as the provider would be making sure they are not using State paid day care illegally. With two kids that can get into thousands of dollars (Grand Theft) really quick. I would notify their worker IMMEDIATELY to make sure they actually audit the Mom's (if that is who is accessing funding) work hours. The Mom is telling you she is NOT working every day during the day and you have told us the kid IS coming every day from start to stop. Something is NOT adding up here. Notify their worker and make sure she is doing it right and paying for anything that she doesn't need. The taxpayers of the State will thank you kindly.

that's not how it is in tennessee. the program is abused horribly because the parents only get recertified every 6 months (if they are on welfare) and once per year if they are not on welfare. so, if someone lost their job the day after they got a new child care certificate - the state wouldn't even know until the next recertification appointment. when they had an appointment, they had to bring in the last 4 weeks worth of check stubs, so there were many parents who would be unemployed for 3-4 months in between appointments and then get a job in time to be able to have those 4 check stubs. they are SUPPOSED to report it when they lose a job, but they didn't apparently because they'd bring their kids to daycare everyday in their PJ's and say they were going back to bed or wherever. this was when i worked for a large center. either way, the state didn't compare the work hours to the daycare hours - and it's people like THAT we should be upset about.

there are people who work graveyard shifts or 7pm-7am. i really don't see anything wrong with someone who has worked a 12 hour overnight shift taking their child to daycare so they can sleep. how could they go to work again at 7pm if they get no sleep? i dunno - i've seen too many people who abuse the system by not having jobs at ALL - so someone who actually works night shift using daycare so that they can get some sleep and return to work is not that horrible IMO.