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I have a 3 yr old dcb who whenever has to go into time out he cries really loud and hard the whole 3 minutes, my "timeout" Spot is up against the wall in the daycare room, off to one end, when he does this all the kids complain, he's too loud (which he is) and no one wants to listen to it, so what do others do in this case, do you have them go to another room until the time out is over, tell them if they can't stop crying they can stay there and if not they will need to go to the other room? The other room I have is just down the hall which I can see him from here, but it would be "quieter" for everyone to do this, or do you just let them cry and when the time out is done they just get up? Just wondering what others do. Thanks
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My time outs don't start till you are quiet....and if it takes 15 min till you are quiet so be it, then your "quiet" time out will start.
I put my kids in the kitchen hallway corner. My house is pretty open from room to room, so still visible by me but not the other kids. -
My time outs are the same- if they continue to cry and cry, it will be longer! They do understand it after a couple of times being in there for 15 min.Comment
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My time is around the corner where the child can not see what the rest are doing & they can not come out of timeout untill they have stopped fussing.Comment
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Time outs are rare here, I try other methods first. I try positive reinforcements, limited choice, redirection, etc. When all else fails, they sit in the cozy corner with books until they decide they can rejoin the group and behave. If they yell and scream with that option, then they can lay down and rest, as they must be tired. Sometimes that means laying in the livig room where it is quiet and a bit darker, or, depending on the age, in a playpen in the bedroom.Comment
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Last night at the church dinner I was sitting with 2 gentlemen who I am sure were in the over 65, maybe over 70 age group. They were asking me what I do for my "job". I explained I was a daycare provider and had been one for over 10 years. They kind of chuckled and said "Hmm, kids just arn't the same as they were years ago. We continued to talk about children and discipline and how it is so lacking in our society today. How so many are so afraid of hurting a childs feelings if they discipline them, how adults simply don't discipline anymore, well, they try to call it that. For some reason in our society today, so many adults do not think there should be consequences for bad behavior. Time outs, redirection, going to a corner to read books is not discipline, it is mostly taking a misbehaving child and removing them from the situation to calm the atmosphere for others, it does nothing for the bad behavior, because usually the child comes back, joins the group, and does the behavior again and again.
My mom used to tell us how when they got in trouble as a child, they got to go pick the switch off the cherry tree. She also said that we made it a point to not do "whatever" again, because we knew there were true consequences for bad behavior. Not today, it is just a sad sad situation.Comment
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I SO agree with that, Mac60. However, there aren't really any other options to a daycare provider these days.Comment
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Originally posted by AfterSchoolMom View Post
Oh, I totally understand that. That is why I wish parents would take responsibility at home......unfortunately, I don't see that happening.
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Well I must say that all children are different and not everything works the same on all children. I spanked my child at first on her bottom but it didn't help at all. What it did to however is teach her to be better at hiding whatever it was that she did wrong (breaking something, taking something she shouldn't have etc). I went to a parenting workshop where they taught us how do the correct time out method (1 minute for every year, they can scream all they want during time out, and then talking to them about why they are there and telling them you loved it and ending with a hug), redirection, letting the children work it out (solving a child's problem for them teaches them that they are inadequate in doing it themselves), genuine encounter moments etc. and tried it all at home and in the first week it was a 360 degree turnaround. She was a completely new child. On the other hand my nephew doesn't repond to ANY of these tacticts and a look and the motion of a spanking alone with stop him dead in his tracks.
All in all I believe that discipline begins at home and whichever way you choose to do it, if it doesn't work DO SOMETHING ELSE. Parent's like to say that they are awsome parents but if the 5 minutes that I see them when they pick their children up are any indicators ... well then we all have a different opinion of what a great parent is.Comment
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As a mom of a 3 year old and 5 month old boys, I would love to know what parenting workshop you went to! Spankings don't seem to do anything for our 3 year old except make him feel like a bad kidOriginally posted by MarinaVanessa View Post
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I just call my child resource and refferal agency and ask about workshops. They usually have them at schools or even in their own buildings and are usually free or for a very small fee (like $10 or so). You should give it a try. I've tried every different one they have (or so it feels)
because not one thing as worked on every child. Maybe my daughter and ur kiddos are secretly related somehow?
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This is what I don't understand.....a child should feel bad when they misbehave, adults should not be afraid to parent a child.Comment
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I agree Mac60, the whole point of a child being punished is because they have done something wrong and should feel bad so that they learn not to do it again.
Kiddie CareComment
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I am definitely not afraid to parent my children. I don't ever want them to feel like a bad person, only to realize that what they did was wrong..if this makes sense. Clearly, spanking my son isn't teaching him anything if he is still doing the same things over and over. So in the end, I am only making him feel like a bad kid instead of teaching him right from wrong..
Oh, and thank you for the info MarinaVanessa
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